I wanted you to love me
so I tried to play your game
I changed everything about myself
but for me you never changed.
I wanted you to love me
so I made myself so small,
but I loved, and cared, and nurtured you,
I wanted you to have it all.
I wanted you to love me,
I became a chameleon just for you,
I thought the harder I love, the better you'd be
but in the end that wasn't true.
I wanted you to love me
I changed my attitude, my clothes, my hair.
I  became so unrecognizable
you didn't even ******* care.
I will never be enough for you
no matter how hard I try.
I think it's time to let you go
I think it's time to say goodbye.
But God, I wanted you to love me
the way no one ever had
but now I've come to realize
loneliness doesn't sound so bad.

One by one
the list gets longer.
Promises of continuity
turn into emotional tourism.
The word "goodbye"
has built a permanent home
behind my teeth.
But despite the familiarity,
I am still left with a bitter taste.
Alone, I choke on the silence
as I sit in the presence
you once filled
wondering what the hell
is so wrong with me
that no one ever stays

How many times
must I fall
before I stumble
upon the right one?

You are my favorite chapter
in the story of my life.
Your page is dog eared
so once I reach the end,
I can come back to you.

It is 6 AM
And the light of the morning
spilling through the cracks of the blinds
is a bittersweet reminder
that yet another day has passed
and I am still here.
I can't help but think
with each rising sun,
that maybe,
just maybe,
I will be okay.

Still looking
For something beautiful in life
To make my heart sing
Like you did