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3.7k · Apr 2016
Manhid
Mas mabuti pang ilibing
Kaysa maligaw
Mas mabuti pa nakikita ang sarili sa ilalim
Kaysa hindi makita ang sarili kahit kailan
Oo nga't ako ang naghukay ng lupa,
Ako itong kusang pumasok.
Ako ang naglibing sa sarili ko.
Ngunit sinipa mo ako paloob.
Tinabunan mo ng lupang mas marami pa kaysa nararapat.
Sila itong nagpatong ng limang malalaking bato.
Paniguradong wala na akong aahunan.
Paniguradong hindi na ako makakabangon s apagkakamatay.
Hindi pa napanatag at may ahas na pinagpilitan.
Ipasok, gumapang, pinagsiksikan.
Tinabihan ako, hinalikan
Inikot ang ulo at dahan dahang pinalibutan ang aking leeg.
Hindi ako lumalaban, hindi ako pumalag.
Hanggang kailan niyo papatayin ang namatay na?
Hanggang kailan niyo didiligan ng dugo ang lupang basa?
Hanggang kailan ako mamamatay?


**Svelte Rogue
This is the Tagalog version of my first chavacano poem entitled Entumecido.
2.4k · Apr 2016
Entumecido
Mas vueno pa enterrar
Contra perde
Mas vueno mira mi cuerpo abajo
Contra mira mi cuerpo perdido
Si, iyo ya cavar con el tierra,
Iyo ya entera complaciente
Iyo ya entera na mi cuerpo
Pero tu ya dale patada pa adrento
Ya basha tierra mas manada na suficiente
Ellos ya poner cinco grande piedra ariba
Seguro ya yo subir
Seguro hinde ya yo vivir
Hinde pa campante, ya pone pa colebra
Ya entra, yan camang, ya porsa
Yan junto comigo, ya besa
Ya bira na cabeza y pescuezo
No hay iyo luchar y defenderse
Hasta cuando kamo mata con el muerto?
Hasta cuando kam derramar sangre con el tierra mojado?
Hasta cuando yo muri?


**Svelte Rogue, ACS
This is my first Chavacano poem. It is a dialect in the Philippines which has similarity to Spanish. The poem speaks about my torments and tormentors on a recent event in my life. I did a mistake that caused them to do their acts. I was sorry and still am. I accepted defeat and didn't fight back, never did. I helplessly accept the pain every time. I fake a smile, keep my head up, and carry on. I die every day. I die a little inside every time they push me below.  The question is, until when?

PS. I will be adding the English and Tagalog (Language in the Philippines) version of this poem.
1.9k · Apr 2016
More than a lover
They say there's plenty other flower
But you're the one that matter
Should i want another?
This flower meant more than a lover

The last few petals are still there
Making it hard for me to stare
Inevitable, i still care
But who's to say all is fair

You fought well hard & true
I guess i did so, too
I'm trying to save you, really i do
Tulips are weak, like us two.


**Svelte Rogue, ACS
1.2k · Apr 2016
I LOOK AT YOU
We're always days apart.
Quite not the best way to start.
Didn't have an exciting forepart,
How I wish we could restart.

The days we're not together,
Sometimes makes me wonder.
Do you miss me or am I just eager,
To feel you again like yester.

I touch your face, I feel you glow.
Time seems so slow.
I'm with you that's all I know.
I won't leave you like your shadow.

The way you talk, way you smile.
Your touch, its too fragile.
Won't let go an inch or a mile.
'Til I walk with you down the aisle.

Of all that we've been through
All else may seem untrue.
All I know is I'd love to say "I do"
Every time I look at you.




**Svelte Rogue, ACS
1.0k · Jun 2016
Love letter to the dead
I miss you.
It's been a year now.
I wish you didn't have to leave.
I wish you lived.
I'm leaving, too.
But not to see you yet.
I'll just be in a place away from here.
Guide me.
Be my angel.
Never a day passed that I didn't miss you.
I miss you more today.
Everyday.
Always.
Let my love reach heaven.
I love you, Matthew.
I love you, brother.
I wrote this dated 23rd of February 2016. Exactly one year since my brother died. Two days before I left the Philippines. I wrote this down on a piece of McDonald's napkin. I bought two chicken meal, one was for me and the other for matt. I sat there eating, writing this, all alone. But I know, he was with me.
964 · Apr 2016
Gone.
I am lost.









And i don't want to be found.
I need to be *saved
642 · Oct 2016
I will
I am the one to give you the stars
When you have the skies.
I am the one who will watch you sleep
And feel the miracle when you breathe.
I am the one who will block fire
In your obnoxious world.
I am the one to give you flowers
Even if you have bounty gardens.
I am the one who will make you happy
Even if you don't need me to.
I am the one who's willing to pain
herself & others for your happiness.
I am the one to see the pain in your eyes
And hate myself for it.
I am the one who caused them to you
Then vow to ease the pain.
I am the one who will dedicate herself
To your happiness
Until the last day
Comes.
557 · Jun 2016
Sanctuary
This is my place of sanity
Away from these toxicity
This may look like mess but really,
I find everything in clarity

Writing empty words on paper
Unsaid thoughts from ponder
I would even consider
Writing feelings that I uncover

I used to have a happy place
Beside you where I can see your face
A touch of your hand, glimpse of your smile
Makes everything worthwhile

Years passed and a lot has changed
Once in awhile I still feel strange
Now I have a new book to age
Its time to turn the page

I guess now its clear to see
All the things we could never be
But I'll give you a piece of honesty
That you will always be my sanctuary

ACS Svelte Rogue
31/01/2016
530 · Apr 2017
Challenge
I miss you everyday
Not much as I can say
I love you more than a friend
A love that will never end

I miss you everyday
I miss watching you play
Your happy eyes that speak
Your looks that get me weak

I miss you everyday
I wish you would stay
Now you're in my passenger seat
Thinking we're just going out to eat

This hurts like hell
I have so many things to tell
You're staring at the window
My tears start to get shallow

This hurts like hell
I can't let go, my sweet Belle
You look at me with a smile in you eyes
But I know the pain in disguise.

This hurts like hell
Catching you every time you fell
You were with me all these years
But we have to let go of our fears

I can't watch you die
All i can do is cry
I drop you off by the vet,
Telling you "You'll always be my favorite pet."

I can't watch you die
But they told me to give it a try
It will end your pain and mine
What a way to end the life of a canine

I can't watch you die
I let out a heavy sigh
I saw you release your final breath
I closed my eyes and accepted your death
492 · Apr 2016
Too Late
I'm in my deepest remorse
Who would have thought
That it would get this worse.
Begging and pleading didn't work.
This isn't my first option at all.
I wanted to stay.
I wanted to witness with you.
I wanted to feel the flame.
Maybe I was expecting too much.
Maybe I thought you cared.
You wanted me to stop.
You wanted me to end.
I took it the wrong way.
Now I am here.
LOST.
Wandering and wondering
If this dead body will even matter.


**Svelte Rogue, ACS

— The End —