I'd rather fall

in Love,

     with your

Scars.

Than fall

    in love

           with your Smile.

This thing...

Delicate,
fragile
but potent.
Erratic even.

Yet I hold it close.
I clench it fast within my grasp.

I care not
for its volatile nature.
I care not
if it’ll sway me.
I care not
if it’ll explode.

Because at the end of the day,
it’s all I have.

For so long I've wondered how
Dreadful would it be
For me to forget how complicated
Things are between
You and my thoughts
At 12 am, caressing a cigarette.

Darling, you were the song to my music,
The dreaded prince to my long gone story
Of whatever happiness this world
Made me believe.

As I speak the words of longing,
My eyes wander to the stars,
Hoping you'd hear the hints of my
Bottled up emotions.

I am leaking.
Leaking with fear, self doubt.
I don't want to bleed
Bitter memories, ugly utterances of
How miserable it is
To love you.

I am spinning in one place,
Trying to stay, trying to heal
The cracks of my broken
Faith in you.

I love you, darling I do.
Even if I have bottled emotions that I'll never show you.

these nights are the nights
that I wish I had:

a cup of coffee
a view of the stars
a comfy blanket
a knitted sweater
a sleeping kitten

things that you savor
things that give live flavor
things that you live for
things that you love for

things that will whisper
in your ear to say

"today was bad,
but tomorrow will be better"

sure, I don't have
a cup of coffee

and I can't see
the stars from my window

my blanket is rough

and I don't own a sweater.

...

I'm allergic to kittens.

but I know you're out there
and one day
you'll whisper in my ear

"today was bad,
but tomorrow will be better"

in my closet,
I have a torn jacket
two holes in its pocket
a rip in its hood, and
a broken zipper

patches, and stickers
stains of liquor
from when i drinked
so that I wouldn't miss her

I haven't thrown it
it's precious, for some reason
to throw it away
would, to my heart, be treason

I wore it when we met
on that cold autumn night
when the freezing wind swept
the leaves to our left and right
a scene from a movie
or a novel, perhaps
I look back and I tremble
I faint, I collapse
my mind goes numb
stuck in the memory
of that autumn night of fate

I gained myself, but I lost myself
when I put my jacket in her hands

10:00 A.M.
Battery: 100%

12:00 P.M.
Battery: 80%

2:00 P.M.
Battery: 67%

4:00 P.M.
Battery: 45%

6:00 P.M.
Battery: 30%

8:00 P.M.
Battery: 10%

10:00 P.M.
Battery: 0%

10:03 P.M.
Notification: You have one unread message:
from Andrea

"i love you ♥"

10:03 P.M.
...
Battery: 100%

i fear the unknown
but courage has wisdom that
fear can never know