Because the view in the dark is full of noise that never ends, that distracts me from all my untied odds and ends. And the view at the top is so full of peace. Too quiet. And the thoughts from the dark fight to break free.
And in the dark it's blinding.  I imagine one day I'll grow to be deaf, from the silent screams I hear endlessly. Maybe in some way the darkness will save me. I know it's irrational but really, jumping right into the water is the quickest way to forget that it's freezing.

I'm falling
again.
Into a deep
dark
hole.
And I don't know
if I want to crawl out
Again
Or let myself fall
while it gets
deeper
and darker.
Until I can't see a thing.

it's funny how people can capture you.
the lines around their eyes when they smile can invite you towards them,
or the fleeting look they give when they think no one's watching.
i'm interested in people's confidence, but also their nongregariousness.
the giving, the receiving, ebb and flow that makes sense but so little sense.
promise and brokenness, blame and responsibility.
strong regard interests me; inform me of the weather, or why that tea reminds you of that person, and why that makes you close your eyes and wonder.

I want you here,
when tomorrow never comes,
I want you here,

What's on my bucket list?
I have no idea
I want you here
I had my chance,
I did what I could,
I want you here,
when tomorrow never comes,

Passion rode on a crest of a wave,
I swam in love's ocean,
I want you here,
when tomorrow never comes,

No prayers, the sky is full,
Stars are saturated,others may be needed,
mine are answered,
I want you here,
when tomorrow never comes,

I'll bask in my memories,
revists my moments,
I only want to hold your hand,
When tomorrow never comes,
I want you here.

Firewalker

I contradict myself.
I know.
But it's only because
I really don't know
What I want.

In any case
I plan to continue
My paradoxical ramblings
and nonsensical thoughts.
Because how else am I supposed to get my mind across
the gap created
by my indecision?

Disreguard me
if you will.
Because nothing that escapes my lips lately
is of much consequence anyway,
really.

Though I guess if you have the desire
and attention
to listen close
to my lack of direction,
You might discover
that something in me
is slowly progressing.

It's all nonsense
and mumbled nothings.
But I guess
sometimes
It's really something.

I like handwritten letters
And old paper back books
I like walks downtown past old buildings
With peeling paint and cracked side walks
I like old sneakers with holes in them
And soles that scrape the ground when you walk
I like things with stories to tell

I like to meet people and talk about minimal things
Things that won't matter to anyone else
The things that cause their eyes to sparkle
And make a smile tug at their lips
I like to listen to their opinions
The things they feel such passion for

Yet I do not like to stick around
Never do I get close enough to touch
No one makes it past the mask of sincerity
Masterfully placed on my face
Never do I let them breach the surface

I like to stay light and free
Of hurt, pain, and complications
And humans carry these things with them everywhere they go
So once I've learned all I can about a person I move on to the next

And continue my journey of life

I like old fashioned romances
Throwing rocks at windows
And cool walks in the night holding hands
I like good morning wishes and butterfly kisses
I dream of embraces so close
You can feel the trickle of their breath on your neck
Their heartbeat involuntarily syncing with yours

I dream of these things
These things I have longed to feel

I still get excited at the sight of a swing left vacant at a playground
Or mini marshmallows in hot chocolate
On bitter winter nights.