There are seven stages of grief
The first being denial
We deny that we are here
In this hell on Earth
We deny that some of our family members have been taken into the hands of death
We deny that we went through what we went through
In hopes that we will forget it ever happened
The second is the pain
The pain comes when it finally hits
Your family is dead
You will never be that same happy kid as you once were
The happy-go-lucky kid you were before the camps
The realization that your body will never work the same way
The next is anger
The frustration you have been holding back
Not at the Nazis or the Germans
You are frustrated at yourself
You are mad at yourself for being in that situation
You do not know why you are mad at yourself
But you refuse to place the blame anywhere else
The next stage is depression
The hole in your heart where your happiness used to lain
The realization that you are now by yourself and there is no one who will understand you anymore
No one will speak the language that us survivors speak
No matter how good of a therapist you are
It is a foreign language only select few speak
There is another stage we went through
The upward turns
The realization that you will be ok
You realize that you do not need your family to be ok
You do not need anyone who survived with you
You only need yourself
And that is all you have
There is another stage
This being particularly the hardest
It is working in an everyday life
With your new setbacks and PTSD
The new you starts to work properly
There is one more stage
It is acceptance
You finally accept what happened
You accept the fact that everything that you went through
Is not fiction
It is real life
You accept the fact that we went through inhumane treatments and tortures
And we accept all of it
We realize and accept that we were almost all killed off
Weather by sickness or ******
We accept we were the lucky ones
And never look back

i never thought i could fall this hard. i never once in a million years ever thought someone could actually love me back. but you my dear, oh you showed me just that. you showed me that i was lovable, i was wanted and i wasn’t worthless. i remember the first time you met my parents. they had a front on, but later that night you were holding me whilst i was hysterically crying because my parents are breaking their teeth on liquor bottles and having their monsters come out and have a fight. you showed me that you weren’t ever going to leave my side. i remember when i thought about all the possibilities of you just playing a trick on me, then you pointed out every single little thing you liked. i remember all of our stupid little arguments, it painfully reminds me of my relationship with my sister. except the one big difference; you didn’t leave me on my worst days. some people don’t believe in love, but if that’s the case, than what exactly did we have? because that was all love. i believe that the human mind can thrive without feeling every emotion, including love. i think when we don’t feel love, we shut down. i remember the first time we met each other’s friends. your friends took me in as a little sister the second they met me. and my friends made sure you knew what would happen if you broke my heart. i remember our biggest fight. an old friend was getting a little touchy, and you beat the **** out of him. i remember i wouldn’t talk to you for a few days because i needed to calm down about it. but you didn’t get mad at me, in fact you still texted me good morning and good night every single day. we had our ups and our downs. but i guess some girl who you had met and been friends with for 1 month can make you feel happier than someone you’ve been with for 2 years. i remember you looking me dead in the eye and telling me there was someone else. i don’t think i ever could hate you for putting me through this pain. all i have for you is love, and i may have accepted that we are done, but my heart still aches for you to kiss me at 12 am every single day because you wanted to be the first thing that made me smile every day. i remember the aftermath of our breakup, your friends still treat me like their little sister you know? they still defend me in every way and make sure i’m not doing anything stupid. i ask them about you every once in a while. but i just want you to know; we were in love, but i hope you’re happier with her.