she was not beautiful

she was the sun coming up
  on an early morning

she was the bloom of
        an april flower

she was the stars shining
  brightly through the midnight sky

she was the rainbow
  after the rain

she was the smile
  on my face that would
    never seem to go
      away.

'beautiful is just too over used, to describe her, so he used these words insead.'

I'm tired of the damage
I'm tired of the sorrow
Let's bring out the happy
Let's do it tomorrow

Trigger was hit
Tag, your it
Off goes the switch
Watch the twitch
Bang goes the gun
Wasn't this life fun

©Pauline Russell

Words left unspoken
Memories blown away
Because we didn't last
Your words frozen in time
Your body 6 feet underground
I should have said more
Asked more about you
But you seemed busy with friends
Who cared for you
I faded away
Because our friendship didn't last
But the memories we had
Did last
How we laughed together
And you called me a little gay
On the inside
I should have said hello
Because I never got to say goodbye.

My eyes open,
The sun filters in.
For a moment,
Just a moment,
I am warm;
I am at peace.
I am happy.
And then the day
Starts, and I wish
With all my heart
And soul that
I hadn't awoken
From my sleep.

I want to be
                 your happy poem
    to write myself
                             into your eyes
your lips, your shoulder blades
to fall into your soul
                         and leap from there
into that heart within your heart
not known to you just yet

I want to be
                    the verse that rings as true
        as the promise of your gaze
late in the day, an uncontemplated
word
a whispered phrase which keeps
and holds and stays with you
                throughout the day

I want to be the sound
                        and smell of fresh felled rain
to stir your thoughts as you awake
                        a storm
relentless, unafraid
                       to bring your laughter
and retreat into the wants
                                      within your veins

Tears trace their way down her cheeks
The pain in her heart is to much to take
She sits in the dark and lest the pain take over
The pain
The throbbing pain like a wild beast in a too small cage unable to stop its pacing
Claws digging into tender flesh
She weeps and wants to let the poor beast out
She wishes for a way for the trapped animal to escape

She understands what she must do
But she is scared
Her body shivers at the thought
But it's the only way
She picks up the blade and slits her wrists
Her blood pooling on the bathroom floor
The beast inside screams in pain and then calms down
Sitting and waiting to see what's next
Her blood red like fire and as deep as the dark gushes out of her slim wrists
She is fading life slipping away
And the beast is closer to being free
As she takes her last breath a tiger orange like sunsets with red marks around his eyes appears before her
He looks her in the eye and bows
Acknowledging her pain and torment
All of the dark days she has endured
Every night of tears
He stands upright
And starts to fade
Her vision is going
Her life is gone
She closes her eyes for the last time
Never to be opened again

That night the neighbors heard a sound
Like a great beast morning the lost of a friend