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Danial John Feb 2018
I'll be fine, as long as I have my wine.

Keep the taps flowing.

Otherwise I'll be forced to find something more potent.

I don't care, question whether to liver die
  Feb 2018 Danial John
Thoughtsonpaper
If a girl is hopelessly crying in a forest and no one is around to hear her, did she actually cry?

All that you’ve heard about Rapunzel is pure lies.
She had jet black hair, that was darker than the midnight sky.
Entirely broken inside, waiting to end her life.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you what really happened tonight
Grab a delicious treat and something sweet to drink.
Before I wish you a goodnight’s sleep.

Once upon a time there was a young girl named Rapunzel
Since the age of ten she had been locked away in a monstrous tower.
Kept in chains by her demons all day.
They liked to play games with her mental state.

One of the games included, Simon Says.
Simon Says, cut a blade through your wrist.
Simon Says, bang your head against the brick wall,
Until you begin bleeding and start to fall.
She hated Simon Says,
But she always obeyed what they said.

Mother Gothel was an antagonist; a myth.
Rapunzel made her up in her mind to have someone to blame,
For all the wretched pain which she endured everyday.

Loneliness became her closest friend
As she sat alone in a cobwebbed den.
Listening to the clock ‘tick tock’ in her head
Over again like a broken record.
Making her want to rip her hair out to shreds.

The voices screaming in her head made her psychotic.
No one cared about this depressive girl,
More than they did about summer rain.
They all couldn’t see her suffering, so it didn’t matter.
Instead they threw her in a tower, an architect built.
So her mind could rot in tiny pieces, lying still.

One day a boy named Flynn came into the mix.
He loved her with all his heart; they could never be apart.
When he was around, her eyes light up.
Forgetting the misery that came after dark

Tomorrow came along.

Rapunzel was found sobbing in her fragile pale hands.
“Leave me alone!”, she screamed in terror with her eyes closed shut.
Shaking uncontrollably, while the rain and tears flowed as one.
Just like the river she wanted to drown herself in.

Flynn gently helped her to her feet in panic.
The electricity still flowing through her entire body.
“I love you.” he softly whispered into her ear.
“I love you!” he says with passion and honesty.
Her breathing slowly came to a halt, after hearing him speak.
He made her believe that life had some meaning.

Her soul now feels at peace
She looks at him with pure sincerity  
He whips her tears away, “I’ll never leave you”.
A promise he can never keep.
“I love you too”, she says with ease.
Their eyes meet together, as they laugh in unison.
Lips softly meet as one; the night has just began.
This is the happiest Rapunzel has ever been in years,
Too bad it will all suddenly disappear.



It was all an illusion.
Rapunzel suffered from Schizophrenia.
Flynn was a figment of her imagination.
An escape from her cruel reality she faced.
The townspeople didn’t want to deal with her mental illness.
So they washed her away, to be left astray.

People hate what they don’t understand,
So everyday for eight years she sat freezing in sorrow.
While her demons devoured her spirit.
Incapable of love and affection.
With a hollow chest where her heart should be.

In order to cope with the ‘life’ she was living,
Her mind made up Flynn.
Though they were madly in love; he was a fairytale.
As years went by depression ate her whole.
She died alone, in a pitch black room.
No light seeping in, with nobody to love and hold her.
To tell her everything will be okay,
And keep her heart beating in place.

If a girl dies alone in a tower, where everyone hates her, and no one is around to witness her death: did she actually exist?
The End.
I dedicate this poem to my childhood self. You deserved and deserve better. For all the sunny days people shattered with grey clouds.

I hope this poem means as much to you as it does to me. Don't stop until your reach "The End". I promise you won't regret it. I swear.
  Feb 2018 Danial John
Thomas
I wore a smile
To cover the stain
Swam in the bottle
To ease the pain

Quick with a quip
Ready with a joke
My anguish never passing from my lip
Levity my cloak

Smiles became heavy
Strains bled thru
In the mirror a shell
Of a man I once knew

The light house has gone dark
No guide in this storm
Acts once unheard of
Now are the norm

Where is my savior
The light to lead my way
Where is my Angel
To lift this endless night
And resurrect the day
  Feb 2018 Danial John
Thomas
Destiny is determined
There'll be no eternal bliss
Fate was sealed with it's fatal kiss

No longer thinking for yourself
Letting it's calling
Be your compass

Surrendering your mental fortitude
Allowed it to be broken down
From a constitutional latitude

Diagnosed as terminal
Malignant raging attitude
Againgst all humanity
Expressed in displays of moral turpitude

Hope's light is fading
Darkness moving in
The battle is waged daily
Never seen but alone
The screams are empty
From a voice without sound
For this battle is my own
  Feb 2018 Danial John
Ciel Noir
What other kind              of creature could divide        
        Each different thing             into its different sides                
  With chaos versus             order, dark and light
The stark duality of         wrong and right
We even split the very        world in two
With human versus human,       we and you
But still no matter how much      we divide
Each thing has infinitely many      sides
  Feb 2018 Danial John
Rett
Lead
I wake up and my head is as heavy as lead
The bed is hugging me tightly
telling me that if I stay, ill be safe
The bed drown me comfortingly
with the tears that I've wept

Sting
My eyes sting from the lack of sleep
they sting like my tears are poison
I walk to school obstinately
because I know I am part of a hoard fo depressed children
trying not to succumb to the urge to **** themselves
before the gunman does that job for us


Black
While I'm writing my 3rd essay this week
a black cloud suffocates me
its smoke climbing its way into my airway
turning into ink as it enters my lungs
I walk around with the cloud

Cry
I am trying to keep myself together
when we get a division problem
a simple equation that anyone could do
but I forget how to divide by 5
I feel the tears crawling from my chest
I start to feel like I cant breath
I choke down the tears

Pills
I have to take pills now
they help
I'm not ashamed of it
though I'm scared
I'm scared that if I run out
I'm going to hurt myself...
But I won't. I need to have confidence in myself

Please seek help
suicide prevention hotline

1-800-273-8255

please seek help
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
Danial John Feb 2018
Like we were with bobbito, we stretch.
Photosynthesis, make green.
Strive for excellence and nothing less.
Exceed the best and bring our team to the crest.
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