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RaeAnn Mar 9
I stood there in the doorway,
The last line of defense.
The second it’s hinges release
Temptation overcomes me.

6 steps to the bathroom,
Where a hundred pills await.
I haven’t heard their call in years
Now they’re calling me by name.

4 steps to the office
Sweet relief each place I see.
Plastic protection pulled away...
But who protects the blades from me?

9 steps to my bedroom
Where dust covered glass rests.
Its bitter fluid floods my mind
And fills the hole inside my chest.

12 steps is what they say
And the nagging ache will wane,
But 12 steps in which direction?
Because they all will numb the pain.
Thomas Feb 2018
Frosty Beer Bottle
Revisit Never The Norm
   An Old Life Dies
Thomas Feb 2018
Reached the bottom
Nowhere further to dig
          Powerless

Had no answers
Something beyond  "I"
The answers are to big
        Believe

Releave this ******* of self
Reliquish control to life's gig
      Turn it over

Past's dark doors opened
With the courage to face
What demons that may trig
     Fearless inventory

In the presence of the triology
Purge your ***** laundry
Freeing yourself of burdens
     Admitted wrongs

Come a point
Where these shackles
You no longer need
    Ready to remove

At foot of bed
Bend down and plead
To that beyond the "I"
To remove all that makes you bleed
     Humbly ask

Gather the names of those
Caught in your wake
    Made a list

To them give back
What wasn't yours to take
       Atone

With burden shed
Self removed
Feel the peace that you've never knew
     Conscious contact

With gift in hand
Tale in tow
Go and share all you know
      Carry the message
Thomas Feb 2018
Hypocrisy to what you preach
Expecting standards of another
You, yourself can never reach

Guised as a victim in your speech
Painting yourself the saint
The all knowing prophet
When pointing fingers is all you teach

Your mirror is no more than a rose pane
In it your lacks shine as another man’s toll
Pleas for reason fall in vane
All collapsing at your need of control

Perched upon your pedestal
Passing judgement all the stay
At all costs emotionally vigil
For it’s always “Your Way”

Hypocrisy in what you teach
Learn to practice what you preach
Thomas Feb 2018
I wore a smile
To cover the stain
Swam in the bottle
To ease the pain

Quick with a quip
Ready with a joke
My anguish never passing from my lip
Levity my cloak

Smiles became heavy
Strains bled thru
In the mirror a shell
Of a man I once knew

The light house has gone dark
No guide in this storm
Acts once unheard of
Now are the norm

Where is my savior
The light to lead my way
Where is my Angel
To lift this endless night
And resurrect the day
John R Pettigrew Oct 2016
I am a loving product of light
I am the star shining bright
I am remarkable I am unique
I am the intention of all you can be
I am the rain that allows life to grow
I am the ocean that runs deep and keeps the earth spinning in the moonlit glow
I am the stars that illuminate the night
I am the intuition that gives second sight
I am the sun that will light up the day
I am the star constellation that will allow you to navigate your way
When the sun goes down and the light of day fades
I was created in the image of divine source light
I entered through the silver gate to live as man
Knowing at that time what was my plan
The path I had chosen was to be broken to awaken
Heading for the home I know I belong
Knowing I have to be brave and bold
Seeking out that gate of gold
It is written in the stars and this soul originated in Erra
Here to try and help bring the world together
Wether rain or hail,day or night
I forever am
Universal Loving Light

John R Pettigrew
31/10/2016
Owner of
JrpTarot
Fauldhouse Indoor Market
1 Blackfaulds Drive
Fauldhouse
West Lothian
Scotland
United Kingdom
EH47 9AT
Facebook.com/JrpTarot
John R Pettigrew Sep 2016
On my knee's pulling out my hair
All that around me were nothing but misery and despair
Suicidal thoughts were running through my mind
My heart was shattered but every one around my seemed to remain bind
Blind to the fact I happily would take my on life
Crying myself to sleep almost every-night
Because I would just hide behind a smile and say I was fine
The misery turned to anger,the anger turned to rage
Emotionally it felt like I was trapped in a cage
Fear,paranoia and apathy
A far cry from the child that I was
The child was long gone and I felt nothing but loss
Grieving for things I had never even known
Abandoned all hope
And trudging a long a dark and lonely path
Yet I seen something a faint light in the distance so I struggled and I clawed and I pick myself up
But something has changed
I stopped looking outward looking for someone to blame
And I realised soon
The light wasn't far away
It come from within me
I had to become broken to become awoken
The path of enlightened was always within me
Had lessons I had to learn for me to fully see
The truth was never lost to me I know that now
Just had to look at my self and the world with a different perception
To fully appreciate to truly value the beauty of this lesson
The empty pit in my belly was no longer there
Spirit was always around me but this was now my time to be come aware
My soul had to become broken to gain deeper insight
To back in the love and glory of this empathetic light
Francie Lynch Jul 2015
My search
For a higher power
Eluded me;
Thank God
I found our
Poetry.

— The End —