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  Oct 2017 Rylee
anonymous999
if i can't make you snort with laughter on your sad days, do not stay with me. i do not deserve you
if i can't make you giggle like a little ******* your tired days, find someone else, i'm begging you.
if i can't even make you smile on the days that you kind of hate me, then i am not the one for you, i promise.

and if i don't have you feeling otherwise on days where you find that maybe you don't want to be alive,
leave me
leave me.
for there is someone better out there for you

you deserve someone who fills your life with color and makes you happier than you ever thought you could be
if i can't be that for you,
if i can't make you feel that kind of love,
leave me
please leave me.
for there is someone better out there for you
you deserve them
  Oct 2017 Rylee
f
And I'm sorry about ever knocking on his door.
You deserve better,
Better than me.
And I'm aching for you.
You deserve better,
Better than this.
And I'm trying not to cry in your arms.
You deserve better,
Better than us.
11-29-14
  Oct 2017 Rylee
Nathanael Xavier Hueso
I love you.

I don’t know who you are,
but I know you’re reading this.
I know it hurts and I know that it feels endless.
I know “hurts” is the wrong word, because you’re dying.
You feel like you already died.
Because you can’t accept that you’re living,
Because living is hell.

I won’t tell you it’ll get better.
I won’t tell you you’ll be alright.
Because you may never be better,
You may never be alright.

What I will say,

Is that I know what you’re going through
And that I love you for it.

Is that you are infinitely beautiful,
No matter what others say or how they look at you.

Is that your value is greater than the entire universe.

Is that you are the strongest person I know,
Because no one has ever fought as hard as you have.

Is that I would die for your happiness,
Because it kills me to see you suffer.

Don’t give up,
Even if you already have.
Because You are the reason that I’m alive.

Love,
A Survivor like you.
#WorldMentalHealthDay
  Oct 2017 Rylee
Lindsay
Finding a lover is effortless
for some people.
They only want a few things:
Someone attractive, kind,
funny or rich.

But
I desire
something so much deeper.

I want

an intelligent mind
that wakes up thoughts in me
I didn't realize were hibernating.

I want

to converse, analyze and debate
without being conscious of
the sun rising and falling
between our words.

I want

to make a witty remark
at a coffee shop
so he can reply sarcastically
just for me to jab back immediately
and for him to comeback back playfully
until we're both laughing
stomachs shaking
spit flying
the whole store staring
and we leave
without coffee

I want

our hands to stitch together
perfectly
like two lost puzzle pieces;
one found under a couch cushion
one found inside a junk drawer.
The rest of the puzzle has
already been thrown away
but
these two pieces remain
and they fit.

I want

to fall in love together
then together fall in love with
art, museums, songs, poems
T.V shows, radio jingles,
greek food, backroads,
our mutual hatred for pop culture,
doing the dishes (as long as he washes and I dry)
wrong turns, piled up laundry, life.
Just fall in love with life.

I want

to hurt with him

I want

to save the world with him

I want

to meet, see, understand
and experience all that is foreign
with him.

I think it will only take us meeting
and it'll only be history and happiness from then on.

It's just a matter of if a love like that could ever be
and if a love like that could ever be for me.
  Oct 2017 Rylee
Chér
don't you ever take
someone's sadness as a joke.

don't you ever dare
to play innocent when you're not.

don't you ever try
to call yourself a friend without acting like one.
  Oct 2017 Rylee
Dazed Dreaming
Sometimes when I'm alone..
My heart likes to **** with my mind and play movie stills of nostalgic ******* I have no patience to entertain anymore.

Actually...
lately when this ******* occurs, I replace it with the hell my heart tends to forget.

Like bullet points...
Sometimes its phrases.
Sometimes its things you did that were absolutely ******.
Or on that rare occassion where I start to miss you...
I simply use the last words I heard from you and that seems to do the trick.

You remember dont you?


I was desperate and afraid of losing what we had... Because I still believed you loved me..
Isn't that hilarious?
and I most certainly loved you...
So I reached out to apologize, face to face and I'll never forget what you said to me...
It makes me laugh now, because its pure evil but its like a ****** up tattoo thats never going away...

"My girlfriend wouldnt appreciate us meeting up."

It killed me at the time...
But its hilarious now, because I was your wife...

But its okay, and finally...
So am I....

I stopped missing you...
I stopped wondering what you were doing...
If you were sorry.
If you missed me.


It took me so the **** long...
I mourned you like you were dead...
But now when someone speaks your name, or I hear your car outside my window...
I'm indifferent and I never understood the meaning of that word until.....


I repeatedly, repeated that small little phrase to myself.

Isn't that crazy?
that's all it took....

And like magic...

Surprise!!!!!
I don't ******* care.

Every tear that ever formed in my eyes...
Everytime I'd entertain a memory of you.
Everytime I'd hear your name and feel as if I'd gotten the wind kicked out of me.
Everytime I'd drop to my knees because I couldn't bare to live without you or what you had done to me...

It finally just stopped burning inside me...
There's nothing left for you here my dear.
No old photos to mourn.
No more desperation.
Its gone up in flames and i'll never burn for you again.
Lol this was fun to write (:
All rights belong to :
@behind hazel eyes
Happy ending
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