I’m sorry to put this emotional weight on you.
I see now why i was so drawn to you and it was my ability to be vulnerable with u.
chasing a feeling that will fade if not nurtured.
I didn't heal my wounds and how could I when I didn't know my inner demons.
Wishing you happiness, knowing that I’ll always love you. I know the me I was and the me l need to be would require me to leave u behind.
It's a boundary we can't keep crossing because I know where I want to go and for u as well,
I have to keep growing and not do this anymore. I held onto u but it's time to say goodbye for good

He says he loves me,
When things go his way
He loves me not,
when I have a say
If I say no
He takes his love away….
I want space
He makes accusations
The doors don’t lock, he barges in
Throwing chaos in my face
I ask him
Why is it I can’t speak
He manipulates and then blames me
No apology
No remorse
I think it’s me

I give in to this misery
Thinking this is life
Years go by
I did what I was conditioned to do
I wasn’t alive

It takes one person to see my worth
Not to save me but to encourage me
She plants a seed inside my head
I see I am not as weak as I may have thought
I take the leap to run through the fire
I am resilient
I am responsible for me
I am no longer my circumstances

She repeats patterns she learned from home.
She is blinded by her actions.
Justifying what happened.
She’s the hurt one,
not them.
She knows the answers.
No one listens.
That’s her truth.
People leave.
They don’t agree.
She’s alone,
Saying, why me?
Until the pain is too great to change,
She’ll see herself as a victim,
and continue living the same.
Isolated.

I have to heal my inner wounds.
I have to face reality.
I contributed to this relationship. (Mess)
I feel remorse.
I am ashamed.
I’m ready to start,
and face my inner pain.
In time I see,
I am at peace.
Thank you, me,
Thank you for not giving up.

First love

It was me I missed.

I miss the me that loved so freely,

the me that trusted you to protect me.

I loved you because I loved me then.

I was vulnerable.
I was naive.
I gave in willingly to be yours—
just to feel something.
You took me for granted.

You found someone new.

Yet you came back, time and time again.

I was your safe place,
your comfort.

You are selfish!
I’m left to pick up the pieces
,
whenever you decide to leave.
I let you back in,
but I grew numb….no I am numb—not knowing if I even wanted you back anymore.
I know we both care,
 but we both had growing up to do. I had to learn to do so without you.
I cannot carry your pain
 and carry mine too.

Time heals, words fade.
 Actions show.
You’re a beautiful mistake.
I choose me, not you.

Abuse

It’s not black or white
No one will understand
I went through something
I’m still processing
I am sad but I don’t understand why
I am loved and I am in pain
Why can’t they stop hurting me
I’m too young to protect myself
I need to protect them
I need it to stop
Why can’t they see I’m hurt
It’s all a blur
Memories are a blur
The feelings remain
I’m ashamed
I’m angry
I cry for my family
I cry for me