Kenji King

Apr 2019

MeanAileen

This is not a love poem, my dear,
no....this is a poem of defeat.
To let you know you have won this war...
I give up....you have me beat.
I can no longer fight for your heart
while scraping my own from the floor.
I can't ask you to feel something you won't,
and I can't handle hurting much more.
Your will of disdain is so very strong,
it's one I just can not break.
I thought I was worthy, but I was wrong...
was dreaming, but now I'm awake.
I've been running a race I just can't win,
chasing what will never be mine.
And at some point I fell, head over heels...
now I'm just running on borrowed time.
I think I thought there was something more,
a real connection between you and I.
And I guess I thought you felt it too...
I swore I saw that same spark in your eye.
But I'm just a fool and you a joker,
roles we both play well.
So where does our charade go from here?
My guess would be straight to Hell...

Just a poem...

#love #lies #fool #brokenheart #heartache #narcissist

Apr 2019

MeanAileen

Life of Lies

I'm in love with a man
I know not to love,
his heart will never be free.
I waste my days
a slave to his ways-
knowing he will never love me.

He is the secret
I can never reveal,
the best lover I ever have known.
I've nothing to give
but my body.....it's his-
fresh dirt for him to bury his bone.

Hopelessly hooked
on him like a drug,
wanting him day and night.
I play his ***** game
I have no shame-
taking it all, knuckles white.

Dead is the conscience
I knew so well,
and morals.....they ran far away.
Clarity now blurry
in a love-drunk slurry-
the 'good me' has gone astray.

To lay with him
is playing with fire,
the flames...they burn me alive.
Leaving me marred
hurting and scarred-
the pain on which I thrive.

A fool for punishment
I beg for more,
even if all I am worthy of is ****.
Loving him breaks me
it overtakes me-
but I'm not willing to quit.

I die a little more
with each passing day,
until again, I get lost in those eyes....
All doubts go away
so for now I'll stay-
living this life of lies.

You can't always help who you fall in love with...

#cheating #*** #love #lies #lust #pain #adult

Kenji King Apr 2019

The master of puppets

With a shadow creeping behind me, making every promise empty.
Intoxicating my nerves, I am being chased.
Stalking my forecast, I run at ten speed.
No stopping, I turn around to see a shadow so empty, its mere whispers have demolished into misty ash.
It haunts my every being and stalks my rotten prey.
It displeases my humanity and consumes my lost soul.
I run, run so fast, the lights hit bloom.
Scared, fearful of what it can do, I look down, I see the shadow
...
The shadow was you.

The ghost I'm trying to escape, just keeps coming back.
The feeling is poison, but beautiful at the same time.
The feeling is toxic, but fills my void of loss and emptiness.
You're a bad guy, playing with my emotions and unleashing my toxic tears.
Confusing my feelings and handling me like a puppet.
Why do I love you?
Since you're the master of puppets, you've dominated and learnt to control me.
Let me go.
Or I will turn around, and leave.
Leave you empty, till you lose control.

Metallica - Master of puppets

#metallica #puppets #master #******* #control #poison #ghost #stalk #chase

Kenji King Apr 2019

A worthless liar

I am just a worthless liar, I am just an imbecile.
Trust in me and you will fall, I will turn around and leave.
I will only complicate you, my emotions will have you doing wrong.
My worth is of no use to yours, you're too good.
I dance in my flames.
Flames that ravish my desires.
Why won't I stay?
The love never lasts and fights betray.
My fists are my words and my words are a knife.
It opens the wounds as the truth is then revealed.
I don't trust nobody, but somehow, everybody trusts me.
I will love you forever, if you can stay, to wash away this pain.
Don't leave me, then I won't leave you.
No one seems to like me, but there are a few that love me, love me for the pain, love me for the scars, because, I am just a worthless liar, trust in me, and you will fall.

Tool- Sober (inspiration)

#trust #fall #liar #weak #pain #leave #love

Kenji King Apr 2019

Blood in the cut

"It be safest if you ran, that's just what they all just end up doing in the end."
''Take my car, paint it black, take my arm break it in half, say some things, I never said, it's too quiet in this room I need noise"

I need the blood in the cut, I need the drip of the blood to tell me it's right.
I'm scared of losing you, maybe a cut will help heal my pain.
Emotions this intense, I've never done this in a while.
But memories are coming back, negative emotions I cannot face.
I envy what might happen if I lost you, I fear what might happen if you left.
They all ended up leaving, what makes you so different, that it won't happen again.
Memories of feeling empty, lost, confused, speculated into one piece of a disaster gone wrong.
Never meant for any of this to happen, but it did.
I love you, I don't wanna lose you.
I need you, I don't wanna be away from you.
But my guilt has taken over, and I feel bad.
I don't wanna lose you, but I'm losing myself.

Kenji King Apr 2019

I'm a bad guy

I love it when you take control, I love it when you re-own me.
I love it when you squeeze my gut, I love it when you re-establish me.
So you're a bad guy?
Think again...
Dominate you until your juices explodes.
I'm your savage, a perfect mystery.
A weapon, a long lost slavery.
Misguide your imperfections and make you tell me again,
Who's the bad guy?
**** with your mind and turn the page, write a new script and flip a new chapter...
But you like it really rough, hmm, tough guy.
Let's go again, I'm your bad guy, you're my *****, think again...
I just make you think you're my daddy, and you think I'm your *****, it's called the master of trickery.
But it's the other way around, That's how good I am, at being the bad guy.
But you still wanna **** with me, you love it, **** with you like you ****** with me the other night.
But that's the thing about my duality, she likes it really rough, she's tough, she plays games and always wins.
You lose, tough guy.
I'm the bad guy, hmm...
DUH
...

Billie Eilish - Bad guy Inspiration

#gemini #games #twist #billie #eilish #bad #guy #tough #myterious #lockdown