I like me better broken; I like me torn apart.
I like me bleeding, dying, like grotesque gallery art.
I like me better lost, struggling not to drown.
I like me flailing uselessly as I fall back to the ground.

I like me crushed to dust, scrambling to find all my pieces.
I like me panicky and scared, unable to grasp what peace is.
I like me down and empty, watching life pass me by.
I like me  pathetic, pitiful; give me something to hide behind.

Pity me. Pity me. Tell me I've a reason to be so morose.
Wrap me up in comforting words until I find the strength to go.
Love me unhealthily, let me pledge my life to you
And wrap myself up until I forget every dream I looked forward to.

Hurt me like I was so used to; make me feel at home.
Treat me like a dog and when I'm done, throw me a bone.
Box me into the smallest of spaces, my own castle of thorns.
Nurse me back to unhappiness and praise me when I'm forlorn.

I'm lost when I'm smiling, I wasn't built to maintain it
To live without reason is the function I'm best with.
I'm a mess when it's good, don't know how to regulate
I like me better without a smile for smiling's sake.

I like me better bottled up and bound and screaming for help
I like me better sobbing and bitter and disgusted with myself.
I like me better when I'm comfortably apathetic and undone.
As things would have it, I'm pathetic, I like me better broken.

You're wondering what's happened lately
Are we okay? Is something wrong?
No, continue on in your ignorance
You didn't care last month, why bother now?

You seem irked when you question me
I want to laugh in your face, don't tempt me
All my unanswered questions and you expect
No fight when you suddenly have "inquiries"

If you so desperately want to know
Let me explain that it's simple:
I don't care.

Who are you aside from what you think?
What's a person with no personality?
I have no clue what goes on in your head
I have no clue who you are.

You find a million words to say to everyone but me
If I push, beg you to think, you get aggravated with me
If I'm mad you get mad as well and still won't speak
If I bring up my real worries- job school money us- you get angry

So **** it.

I'm tired of being angry and lonely and depressed
So instead of expecting a relationship
I started expecting to occasionally speak to my housemate
I don't feel disappointed that way.

Honestly, whatever at this point
I love you, sure, but ain't no love on earth gonna break me
So I don't need to know what you're thinking
I honestly can't be ****** to care

I don't need to know how you're doing
I don't want to speak with you
Don't give a **** who you're talking to
Don't wanna go outside and explore with you

I don't want to put in effort I'm never going to get back

I'm selfish like that.

I honestly don't know what a relationship feels like.
But hell if I'm not beginning to understand what it feels like to be a mother.
I've never been on a date. Thought that'd change with you.
I've never once felt appreciated in a relationship.

I've never really felt loved either. There were moments where you almost fixed that.
I've never been surprised in a relationship.
Always me planning, doing, pour my soul into-ing...
I've never been treated like I'm worth anything.
Period. By anyone, really.

And I expected so much of that from you.
Of course I'm angry with my expectations that high
You're a kid.
You don't have the means or the want to do any of that yet.

But I can't not expect it if I care about you romantically.
So I don't.
This is a platonic relationship.
You're a friend I'm helping with rent.
All of rent.
Without your help.
You're a kid. (I'm a kid)
So I expect nothing of you.
So I give nothing to you.
I hope you enjoyed what I gave.
It's all you're gonna get.

I've picked the pieces of my love from your skin
Carefully stitched them together and rolled them up
To neatly place inside my suitcase
To use on someone somewhere else.

I've packed the clothes that are stained with the scent of our lives
To join me at a sickening altitude until I am home
Where I will wash and scrub away the smell of you
Until I can bear to wear them without feeling unclean.

I've bundled up the good memories and set them aside
So that the bad won't taint them when I can finally remember this calmly
Meticulously pushing them into the last of this suitcase's space
And sitting on it to zip it tightly away, separated from me.

There is a lot that will be going home with me
I hope I take enough to leave a scar the same shape as me
I hope I will hope that wound closes for you
When I've been gone long enough to wish you well.

Here I stand and here I stay
Armed with smiles, so come what may
An army succeeds me as we go our way
And when we are all felled we cry and say,

"Here we stand and here we die
Having done all that can be done  in life
Running to battle with a loud battle cry
Until a thousand of our own on this field lie."

There they fell and there they go
In death, no longer are they my own
Both entered and exited this world alone
And with their last breaths they beg for home.

Saying,  "Here I fell and  here I lay
That my family would know I felt no pain
That my fight, my struggle, was not in vain
As my eyes will never see them again."

Here we die, here bodies go cold
Crying to devils and to gods both
Our stinking carcasses ravaged by growths
Having fought impossible odd that brought us low.

Here we stand and here we stay
There they fall and there they go
Saying, "Here I fell and here I lay,"
Here we die, here bodies go cold.

To know life is both the greatest gift and curse
The opportunity is overestimated in worth
When, come the end, our brand of uselessness is realized
We age, then sicken, then curl up to die.

There's love untapped in the first meeting
That withers and fades as the heart continues beating
I would that intrigue would take me, send me reeling
As intrigue has never been fickle or fleeting.

There's not time enough for intrigue or awe
As we've yet to comprehend how to live life at all
We'd rather follow the steps worn into the ground
Right into our coffins and six feet down.

How routine kills;  it's acceptable genocide
How routine leads us, so sweetly, to die.
How we exist in ignorance, cover our ears and eyes
How we live in stupidity, the blind leading the blind.

Ah, useless eyes and worthless tongue
A world struck gray, a mouth struck dumb.
Ah, treacherous mind and failing nose
With nothing to smell, with nothing to know.

May the generation realize the futility
That put an end to you, an end to me
Before life would shake them, they may leave
With ears that hear and eyes that see.

He spoke with his fingertips
They danced lightly on my desk
A man of few words
But I heard what he said

He spoke with his fingertips
They skittered to and fro and back
His hands spoke the words
His audible voice lacked.

He spoke with his fingertips
Tapped his way into my heart
He never had much to say
But his words were a work of art.

I don't want to think today
Command, restrain me, have your way.
I don't want responsibility today
Bind and beat, fun and games.

A word is enough to contain me
If said in the right way.
A look is enough to restrain me
If you want to play.

There's no collar around my neck
I've got the perfect one custom-designed.
I can't buy it, I can't want it
Because I've never been told it's mine.

I want to see blood tonight
I want to rip my skin until I'm swimming
I want to squeeze my brain to pieces until it
Finally, finally stops whirling.

Command me, please.
I don't want to think today.
Restrain me, collar me
I'm up to play a game.

I don't know what I want to do
Or where I want to be
I don't have a talent to present
Or any hidden, untapped meaning.

I've a million stories I won't write
A thousand words I'll never sing
I've ambition I'll never fulfill
A hundred dreams I won't attempt to reach.

The world is filled with kids like me
Just falling
          Falling
             Falling into harsh reality.

I don't have motivation to do so much as breathe
Without a billion carcinogens in my bloodstream
I don't have courage to change any issues
Or even to get myself completely clean.

I've dozens of wishes I'll never acknowledge
Tens of millions of amazing, impossible things
I've tons of cravings I'll never bother to sate
Billions upon billions of ignored yearnings.

The world is filled with kids like me
Smile then cry when no one's looking
Earth is overflowing with trash like me
Break then repair; lather, rinse, repeat.

I don't have a personality that will make me affable
Or money to buy the friends I won't make
I don't have a face that invites company
Or the right words to make someone stay.

I've pitiful little aside from boredom to offer
Save violent, unstable considerations
I've nothing to give and nothing to take
Except fake, plastic conversation.

The world is filled with kids like me
Chained with a promise to life and living
The world is filled with **** like me
Not quite alive, not quite surviving.

Promises and promises and promises and lies
Survival and survival and ten billion failed tries
Cross my heart, cross my fingers, and hope to die
Deja vu of a hundred or two that have lived this life.

Smiles and frowns and laughter and tears
Slamming against the puzzle of earth, desperate to fit
Useless and exhausted and unchangeably nameless
Selling souls to life with a promise to live it.

The world is filled with kids like me
Whatever happens, come good or bad, we'll be here
The world is brimming with tumbleweed dreams
Cloudy skies, cloudy eyes, but the mixture is clear.

I've sworn to let them all go before I consider leaving
I've prayed they'll release me in a decade and felt so guilty
I've promised never to hurt them like I've so recently seen
But I'm marking down the days as they morph into weeks.

The world is filled with kids like me
Jittery and anxious for the day they are free
The world is crammed with lying, stinking **** like me
Bound with promises of survival and surviving.

There was no one
And nothing
And nowhere
That wanted her.

Thus she stood
And walked
And lived
By her lonesome.

Within her heart
And her soul
And her mind
She was lonely.

So she stood
And stretched
And raised her arms
Until she touched the sky.

Higher still, she went
And higher
And higher
To the one who would have her.

She reached out
And cradled the sun
And it burned
But she felt so loved.

And as she died
In the unforgiving heat
Her lips brushed the sun
And she was comforted.