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 Jul 2014 Q
Austin Heath
Getting bitter,
not even for bitterness sake.
You keep picking that scab,
scratching that surface,
you'll never get to the blood of the matter.
4 am and who knows when or where  it ends-
****. Yes.
We just might not sleep tonight.
Paint it two shades darker and walk
with your head down.
Practically shameful,
or excellent in disguise.
Poised to strike;
Spat on someone's car yesterday.
10/10 would do again.
What leaps with teeth bare?
 Jul 2014 Q
Austin Heath
4am and my eyes are killing me,
and I'm dull and sore and ****.
****. ****. ****. ****.

Leaning against an arcade booth
of Street Fighter 2 watching them
dance in green lazer lights.
We decided to go back to her friend's place.

Her friend got wine,
he got beer.
He ****** in the bushes.
Admitted he was drunk.

On the roof of her friend's apartment,
I ****** down a cold coffee,
and we played acoustic music.
We climbed higher on the roof.
They smoked and drank,
and just generally shot the ****.

Something bad happened between him and her;
she ran off crying, he's calling her a child, a baby.
He's pretending he's not mad,
pretending he's in control of his emotions
while lashing out.
Throws a beer bottle,
decides to leave. She
practically begs him for a ride home.
Me and her friend want so badly for her
to stay. Stay.
She leaves with him.
Drunk and ******, to drive her home.
I start walking home soon after.

I get lost on a street.
It's 2am and I'm jumping up and down
waving my hands, trying to get someone
to just tell me where I am.
A man across the street must be taking out garbage,
I walk across the street and say, "Excuse me sir?"
He shouts, "No! Go back across the street! NO!"
like I'm a ******* wild animal.
I ask him, "Can you just tell me where Bluestone is?"
He tells me to go north.
His input is useless.
I hope he dies of pancreatic cancer.

I kick a can and yell, "**** all of you, collectively!"
to the suburban nightmare I'm trapped in.
"I hope they nuke this ******* **** stain neighborhood!"
Kick an empty Arizona can in contempt and disgust.

I have a small monologue with myself
and almost break down on the sidewalk.

Walk back to practically where I came from,
and take the long way home.
On my way I pass a stranger who asks, "Dig?"
No ******* idea what they meant.
I dodge the skunks and grab a hubcap.
Wanted a trinket.
I think I'm gonna have a ******* aneurism.
 Jul 2014 Q
Austin Heath
Had a nightmare.
You invited me somewhere.
Left me behind.
I was screaming your name from the courtyard trying
to find you, and you didn't answer.
I destroyed some **** and finally ran into your room mate.
I asked her forcefully where you were,
then found you. You knew why I was ******.
Your friends said something,
so I smashed a glass pan against a wall
and asked them if I looked like I wanted to be ****** with.
I walked upstairs and a man put me in a grey straight jacket.
That feeling is still in me long after.
Nothing is resolved.
 Jul 2014 Q
r0b0t
Pesticide
 Jul 2014 Q
r0b0t
don't
don't make me
don't make me pull the trigger
don't I don't want to please
I'm just
I'm scared
please
my hands are shaking
can't you see my han-
DON'T MAKE ME PULL THE TRIGGER, I SAID
don't please don't move
don't make this hard
just stay still please
you're all insects tonight.
I heard a robbery down the road.
 Jul 2014 Q
Austin Heath
Burned in all the right places.
No help, no hands;
I console you to the
"tune" of my depression.
Silence on your end.
A buzz held down
on sheets of static.

"We've had this
conversation before",
you say.
Nothing has changed
between then and now?
Burned? Burned?
I opened all my books when
you asked, I *******
showed you all my hands.
I can't even bluff.
You know who can?

It makes it hard to sleep.
Your archives are locked
and the key is on a string
and dancing in front of me.
Taunting. Semi-humiliating.
Mocking.

Between doors.
Between "lives",
towards death.
Between beds,
between homes.
Between smiles,
but never tears.
"Between jobs."
Between doses of
caffeine.
Between waking and
sleeping.

If you're still lost, well,
you know where to find me.
 Jul 2014 Q
Jessica Pfeiffer
To help and not gain
Though not done often as should
When done, BIG thumbs up
 Jul 2014 Q
Austin Heath
"Heights."
 Jul 2014 Q
Austin Heath
Home, don't tell anyone
I'm gone,
I got tired of hearing about
the slow recession of everything.
I got tired of being around.
Pockets full of change and
if I lost my wallet,
who would worry?
Home is where I want it to be,
anywhere, it's where I keep all my fears.
It's where I am when I need trouble
simply existing.

Home, don't come in my shelter in shelter,
I've got posters waiting to fall down;
Like my figures are disappointed,
my banners are crumbling.
I'm covered in a film from the heat.
I'm sleeping in my skin,
if I can make it in time.
Where I want it to be.
Where I keep all my fears.
 Jul 2014 Q
Austin Heath
I've seen relatively normal people go insane,
and it makes me wonder when someone
or something is going to pull my ticket.
 Jul 2014 Q
Austin Heath
They swear they can teach you everything
you're going to need to know about
life and how to take on the world.
The same ******* who
can't even tell you an
honest version of history.

If you sigh hard enough, you learn.

Some of us pull everything we know
from the margins and get called part
of an agenda for it.
Most people learn only by what
they perceive on the surface
and miss everything underneath.

Some nights you go hungry, and you learn.

The ******* go to college or university,
get some ******* degree,
and decide it makes them an unofficial expert
on situations they've never been concerned with.
Racists with law degrees.
Some of them go into the military
and come back with scars in their mind,
tell us we're just civilians,
because gun-toting is the education they received.

If you ever slept in a car because you had no choice,
you learn.

I've met a lot of people who read religious texts
and only believe what people "knew" 4000
years ago, at most.
I've met people who tell you they believe in the bible,
then when pressed for information,
obviously can't tell you **** about their own beliefs.

If you have a hard time not biting back out of habit,
you learn something.

The funny thing is, you don't need to learn how to
hate to learn how to love,
but
Once you learn what love is,
it makes it a hell of a lot clearer what hate is.
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