under the shell, inside
my chest, lies a hole,
blacked and beatting still
all the sorrow burn it down
at my 20s, later the pain becomes
a chain hollow and vain

and after all y become free,
from the chains self made
for contain the pain,
only need the one
, that breaks the spell
hearing
nutshel  in my heart

he give my stregth to persist
untill im dead y will die free,
as a man not a creep or a shame,
just a ***** man, trying to be free
fromm pain and deceit.

sacre femme set my freee
fromm the pain and release me
fromm  the burden of shame
and the eyes in my back, looking
some girl to wash them
and take the stains by loving me.

as a beast looking for the one, who
let him free fromm chains of the curse
just by love the sacred connection
that perhaps will set me free.

Can you blame me when I said that "I really love dreaming"
In my reverie I can count the stars and to me they are glittering
I can kiss the clouds and they hug me there
But what have you brought me reality? Nothing but air

But to be fair reality its true that sometimes you gave me gay
Sometimes the wind hear my laughters, at times both of us play
But most reality, most of the time you gave me agony and pain
To your puzzle who's gonna turn not to be insane

I can't breathe,
I can't move.
I see nothing but darkness.
That small glimpse of light, is nothing but a blur.
My hands are shaking.
My heart is breaking.
and with that I collapsed,
crying on the bathroom floor.
My throat is closed up and I gasp for air.
I wonder when you'll be here.
I feel  dead, emotionless,
if any emotion, I am just depressed.
I gain eyesight,
and then the ability to breathe.
My hands stop shaking,
but my heart is still racing.
Anxiety has hit me, made me go insane.
and I am oblivious to when it will strike again.

I'm good.

I’m in a good place.
Friends the next room over,
a few streets down.
Living a life with
those I love all around.

Listening to their grace,
imagining you in this space.
I could almost burn.

I know you didn’t choose your face,
though it makes this a difficult race.
Your kisses I can’t unlearn.

Bring the flood.
The hours, days, months, years,
the unquantifiable tears.
Squeezing in self-discourse when I can,
logic and hope crammed between fears.

Another dud.
A grand plan disguised
as a firecracker, prized,
one promising an explosion,
lightning bolts etched on the sides.

Though there was never a detonation.
You cut the fuse short
or maybe I never lit it.
Maybe I’m like Rogue,
absorbed that firework’s nature
and can’t quit it

My veins are gunpowder.
My heart the wick.
Thoughts of you the flame
and I’m praying they don’t stick.

My mind is racing with water
in an old fashioned wood bucket,
assembly line style carrying reason.
Though my worst fears I can hardly stomach.

I’m working my synapses as fast as they’ll churn,
but like every western movie ever filmed

the water gets here too late.

I stand watching myself burn.