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  Sep 2015 Ntsika H
Melissa
you were yellow

like the sun

(I hated yellow

but I loved you)

I was blue

like the sky

(you hated me

but loved blue)

and what we had

made others jade

(oh but we were precious emerald

but even emerald is just green)

and slowly out color began to fade

and you were just yellow

and I was just blue

(not meant to mix on the palette

because green just wasn't for you)



I had never been cerulean

or azure, indigo, or turquoise

(sapphire, cyan, aquamarine

those colors just weren't me)

but now I was just washed away

barely even blue

(really more of a grey

but you don't care for colors, do you?)



and then a scarlet flash

of something bright

(a happy shade

a vermilion sight)

a steady flame

a vibrant red

(the smell of strawberries

inside my head)

she didn't mind my

yellow stain

(she had one of her own

but that color has no name)

she was a rose in a field of thorns

you were a dandelion in a field of daises

(I was a forget-me-not

she didn't, but you forgot)



her ruby words

my face flushed crimson

(a color I had

never felt before)

my grey grew vivid

shifting back into blue

(this time I was indigo, cyan, sapphire

azure, cerulean, and turquoise, too)

a happier blue

then I was before

(because I have you

and you are so much more)



you are red

like a sunset

(a brilliant tint

a lovely tone)

I am blue

like the sea

(and the sky

is blue like me)

together we're lilac

a lavender hue

(and you are just red

and I am just blue)

our colors can bleed

our colors can touch

(because we both like

purple very much)
Ntsika H Sep 2015
You've cried more tears than waters in oceans.
You've felt pain deeper than the lowest valleys.
You've had more sleepless nights than the light from the moon.
You've seen more than the sky has stars in the sky.
You've been momma since I've opened my eyes.
You're my first smile, my first tear.
You're my first friend.
You're my first protector, educator.
You're my first word.
You're my first love.

You're the first to rescue.
Always there when my lips utter any needs.
You're a provider.
You're my first example.

You're the last to leave when I'm down.
You're the last to cry because you strengthen your smile to stand stronger than your tears.
You're the last person I'd want to disappoint.
You're the last I'd ever wanna hurt.
You're the last person I'd wanna leave
You're the last person I'd wanna see leave this earth.

I've never felt your pain.
I've never cried your tears.

I've felt your love from day one, and after the last day your love will remain the same as the day you held me for the first time and looked me in my half opened eyes with a smile bigger than all the disappointments life had for me.
Through my trials and tribulations, I remember all your teachings.

I've learnt more from you than I could learn from a lifetime in school.

Thank you, Mother.
I love you ❤
Ntsika H Sep 2015
Title less

We're an endless supply of love.
We're heartbeats full of life.
We're souls that are somewhat unfathomable.
We're Christian spirited, but our minds are centered to the world.

It's crazy because, Love says go on.
Heartbeats still strong.
Souls long for ours to hold on.
Spirits lift us in prayer so we stay together.

But our minds... They don't mind if we find another, so our minds wander and let us discover something other, than one another, so we cover one another thinking there is a better other, knowing that, someone like her, there ain't no other.

Our minds have to be the most  disrespectful ***** in our body. It feeds on problems and issues to fulfill it's need to explore. It breaks your heart, crushes your soul and makes you think your prayers go unanswered.
Every heartbreak, every crushed soul and every unanswered prayer is exactly how your body becomes a slayer of others. Under the sheets of "I'll never be loved again" and laying on a pillow of "I'll only love her for the evening."
With her clothes on the floor screaming "You said you wouldn't do that again."
She never heard screams on top of her screams cause he was on top of her, and just for the night he was King of the world as he literally rocked her world, in her house, her bed.. And now, her walls look at her like she's a *****, cause guys are in and out like she's their local store, and she thinks she's a Queen.
Nah, she's just a peasant mopping up the Queen's mess, cause when the Queen stopped *******, she only just started.

Cause a King eats from more than one plate thinking he's more of a man for eating more, but what it makes him more of is less of a man, and from this lesson he'll never learn, until his Queen hits the streets and leaves...
Then his heart, his soul, his spirit and his mind will drown in his own pile of crap, in the toilet he crapped in... Then... Then he'll feel what it's like to be a Royal Flush.
  Sep 2015 Ntsika H
Amelia Pearl
10 years of friendship.
4 were drowned and forgotten.
Found our way back
To shore in 2014.

Without much introduction,
We clicked and fit eachother like two pieces in a puzzle.
We both went through laughter and tears together.
Sad to know that these are the last tears that I will share with you.

You've always thought I was an idiot,
You weren't any different either.
But we contradict so much and it was never an issue for us.

Playful punches on my stomach,
I laugh off the pain as if it didn't hurt me as much as I thought.
I've insulted you so many times,
It's amazing you're still here.
But remember that behind every insult,
I always compliment you inside.

How great you are,
How incredible you are,
How strong you are,
How beautiful you are too.
I never agreed when you say you are ugly,
eventhough I said I agree, I don't.
You're beautiful, You've always been beautiful.

I find joy in making you smile,
I do it as much as I can because I'll never know when's the last time I'll live another day to see your stupid face.

I'm sorry that I have to leave like this,
It was never in my plan to just go.
You can be mad at me all you want,
No one can disturb you behind these white walls.

You can hit me all you want too,
I promise I won't feel the pain.
You can curse at me as much as your heart desires.
I'm deeply sorry for this.

I can't be there on your birthday and tell you how much work I've put in decorating Your birthday place.
Or how much my present for you costs.
I can't be there to complain of how late you are to our meetups.
Or tell you how stupid you look in that dress.

I can't be there on your wedding day to watch you walk down the aisle heading towards that lucky guy you finally found.
He might be shawn.
I can't be there to see that.
I can't be there to cry for you because I'd be so happy.

I can't crack jokes to you anymore or make puns that don't make sense.
I can't see your confused face when you don't understand me.
I can't be there to hear you say that you hate me..

So if you still see me breathing for my life someday,
Before they pull the plug.
I'd like to hear your last "I hate you"
Because I know that you actually mean
"I love you"
For my best friend. I'm dying. But i hope it'll never happen.
  Sep 2015 Ntsika H
0o
It was loveless, lost and seldom planned,
Penned obtuse in steady hand,
We dreamed aloud as old men lied,
Then took their place as old men died,
And lay with what hope we could ration,
Drawn away in stiff staccato fashion,
To another dismal city street,
Holding on with trembling feet,
As time still breaks us, all we know,
Keep faith in loss and letting go,
This sacrifice, once worth the cause,
Now only good for cheap applause,
But maybe somewhere chance still carries on,
To catch on to us before we’re gone,
As we color outside limits and lanes,
Seeking freedom from these rusted chains.
  Sep 2015 Ntsika H
Purple Rain
Silence
The timeless pleasures have ended,
In the trap of silence
It has began

The Devils words speak
Making me weak
For my eyes stream out
red streaks,
My future begins
To Fall apart and Creek

Silence
20 feet away
from someone standing beside me
I feel distance
Unable to hear words,
demonic voices
peek beside my ear
Unable to understand
yet,
They're Telling me my time is near

Silence
I don't cry anymore
that's the only control I have left
Physically unable to fight,
Controlling what I have left in my life,
I began to speak to Christ
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