I was too weak to face myself
And you were collateral
The could have beens for the coward then
More ridiculous now from time's vantage
My vision of you and my perception of self
Completely incompatible

You came to me a woman
Your mind was made, your path was paved
I was still a boy and too much a fool
Honestly afraid of your power
To make my ego admit
That you were better than me

Now daunted by the vista of my ignorance
No longer scared to look I see how low I was
The frailty I grafted to you, the idea
Blinded me to your beautiful reality
But granted me solace in my fantasy
I was lying to myself

I was the weakling, I was the looser
But you were the one who lost.
Somehow you saw through my facade
Your heart smelled the love I buried deep
The potential man you offered your hand
Saw fate and ran away

Panic
Run down the masses, burn all the books
The rumor reigns
Stagnant
Psychic visions with spitting mouths and chained hands
Take their brains away

Monster
Defend it for pity of ugly
Evil with no shame
Fight fair
Hands up, lock eyes with a warrior of God
Shoot him in the back

Whisper
Truth to your heart, shared only sparing
Behind locked doors
Belief
Like the patron saint of ignorance
Justify your way

Hearsay
A circumstantial execution
Of virtue scorned
Heresy
Of one's who'd burn a world rather than bow a head
Deny imperfection

Held captive by the look of you
Hold stunned my eager breath
Beauty like the heart of winter
Untouched and frozen perfect

The distance holds as sterile
Desires of flesh and flesh
For innocent is yearning
If left sans recompense

The player's pride will sing of victory
In cheated games yet won by none
Play patient, suffer discipline
Fight fair or flight screams run

Still this life is set to spiral
And downward shapes the snare
Sacrifice self for sake of sympathy
Whose weight is this I bare?

Ballasts drag different on principle
Your load at least is novel
We float, we sail, we sink, we bail
Let the journey play the model

You've the scent of land uncharted
You've the glow of gold unowned
You're prospect seems so guarded
You've trapped my will in stone

You hide in trees like wisdom,
out of reach like play.
You move with nature's rhythm,
pliable as clay.
A rainbow sans the prism,
oh so far away.

A dream forever dancing,
pure as ****** dame.
All eyes at you though glancing,
cowards come the game.
For me a trip worth chancing,
freedom has no name.

Your laughter is the river,
my lifelong design.
Most yearn for just a sliver,
wholly you'll be mine.
A touch to make you quiver,
kiss flavoured divine.

Bliss pervades each step toward fate,
drifting destiny.
Please forgive if I show late,
beg your clemency.
Promise succour for your wait,
if eventually.

It’s not by force of credo
that I extend my hand for thee.
It’s not for want of glory
that my heart offers you its key.

I don’t catch you when falling
to save a damsel in distress.
Not a shoulder for crying,
rather a haven from your stress.

Not your knight or hero,
Simply a man and aching heart.
“Should” shapes no motivation,
My goal to play the part

Of your lover, of your boy.
Of your home away from home.
Of your confidant, your healer.
Of your guide ‘ever you roam.

Some cling to old rules and honors,
In truth Chivalry is dead.
Antique code is dry and dusty,
I give you Romance instead.

And there I left you
I imagine frozen
Arms extended
Half an embrace
Your other half turned
And escaped into space

I cut it off quick
Both cold and completely
Distance the drug
Running the pain
The thought of thinking
I could only abstain

I bleached the memory
Ultimately utter
White washed the wound
Erased our story
Refused to believe
It as allegory
But the facts still stand
It was killed by your hand
So though I ran
Please understand
It was not for freedom or glory

I'll play the tinker toy,
You play your game.
Use me, abuse me.
For boredom, I'll take blame.
Emotional backboard
My role and my place.
I'll keep you happy
Til you forget my face.
My role as your keeper,
One of tarnished brass,
Is full of rewards
Seldom worth all the gas.
And please hear me beg you,
A toy of my own,
To fill in the space,
That you just leave unsewn.

Hey let's go back inside
It's midnight and it's raining
Everything I said was wrong
Please forgive me baby
I won't try and save you
I just want you to be better
Please baby come on
We're crying and it's raining

The wine is gone and we're alone
You and me and the demons
Blurry eyed I begged you why
And your silence drove me crazy
It's some sick kinda hubris
That makes me take the blame
For the burden of your sorrows
From this life and the demons

I can see you shaking
And I know it's not the cold
I'll hold and warm you anyhow
This time I'll get it right
Hard enough to **** the demons
Warm enough to say I love you
Please don't say you feel me shaking
Cuz we know it's not the cold

I don't want power in a poem
Just some rhyming light and whipped
With enough empty space and air
To take the place of subscript

I don't want to hear you sing of pain
I'd rather you stick to scheme
Keep rhymes in time and don't ask why
You’ve all lost the will to dream

I'd break every pen that's mightier
And fight freedom of the verse
Censor you to cold and heartless
Ensure passion’s home in hearse

I'll bleed your words dry of their wisdom
Make them all just ink on page
Dilute the work back into form
Homogenize center stage

A stranger's name on skeptic tongues
A taste like blood and foreboding.
The spice of a new kid.

Foam bleeds through the teeth of my peers
Bile green, it’s words and it’s venom
This thing they call “fun".

A game played with barbed wire fists,
Acid, poison, whips, guns and swords.
No rules but they're winning.

They called me Bluebird
I one short, fat, and sad.
Accurate if only I’d fly.

Raccoons and kestrels
Hunt a bluebird til death.
Dear God how I wish I could fly.

Once I was Bluebird.
Existence encumbered.
Stained life released via knife.

Witness, you hungry young hunters,
The blossom of seeds that you sowed.
Bleeding chrysanthemum.

I carved my name into my chest,
The wings broken and defeathered
Of bluebird now red.

Peace feels like longing and defeat,
But I fly on wings of my own
Pray safe from the world.

The poets call it cupid,
Skeptics speak of Damocles,
Chemical to logical,
Songbirds in the trees.

Just some bubbling excitement,
Or a sentinel steadfast,
Maybe it’s fits of crazy,
Emotion in contrast.

In the heat of your body,
Above the way that I feel,
Under the taste of your lips,
Before you I kneel.

I offer my turmoil,
You surrender your stresses,
To define this true love is
Beyond our guesses.

Beauty as the burden burned,
beauty broken finch.
Beauty as the one eyed world,
her beauty as defeat.

Her brow be ****** bleached in broken
bereave brief ‘boldened by bleak bonnet
now tossed unto the ground.
Never wretched young hopeful, angel by grace.
Witching run by chosen one, a blessing and a race.

The imperium titan dominion o’er all,
she standing ***** and tall speak ever of fall.
A worry wormed wicked way up wisdom’s womb,
yet still courage when witnessed begs wonder and swoons.
She's epic and glowing and ever in bloom.

Beauty as the burden spurned,
beauty spared from lynch.
Beauty as the sun dyed world,
Her beauty is concrete.

Clutching at straws for purchase, I dive in every direction.
Leaping off faith like churches, I bend to the will of the wind.
Searching for scraps of focus, my heart beats the way as it sings.
Thanking the world as it teaches,
I exalt what the future may bring.

The drive lights in my head as sparks, forced from my mind pray they fly.
The weight of “what if" pockmarks, eager sow seeds ‘til one catches.
Doubts thrown at me from my darks, each explosion paint ******* my way.
A way out not promised yet trying,
Is the only thing worth ‘til I die.

Fear lords over me as a despot, chance spirals before me like time.
Crawling from lazy this cesspit, resistance the bane of us all.
My goal simple as respite, shed stress I know vestigial
Find me my path steady carving.
Eroding at life ‘til I'm fine.

I wish this was defined as more than limerence,
But I can feel this fact is obsession alone.
My heart is burning loud and vigorous,
And you’re so smothered in the ignorance
That the birds known as passion have since flown,
And our heartstrings together are already sewn.

It’s not my aim to dissuade, divert or disgust.
I just ask that you listen and lend empathy.
For this is not an admission of lust.
Loan dash of sympathy, an ounce of trust.
Call not these reactions droll chemistry.
There is no room for science in this recipe.

These are movements fantastic, explosions of fate.
Yet I’m giving permission to let this one slip
And gifting forgiveness if you decide too late.
This, I am certain, will be worth the wait.
If you disembark aboard different ship,
I can promise I’ll follow by tooth, nail, and whip.

You’ve armed me with passion and know not what you’ve done.
You can insist that there’s nothing, **** this off clean.
Still this doesn’t come from just anyone.
I know you more than a prize to be won.
Even if you ignore this, my mad queen,
I’ve hope, for justice is blind and oh what she’s seen.