This is about you
It is not a poem.
But I don't care.
Yes this site is called Hello Poetry.
But does that mean that I can't say that I care about you?
That you are beautiful.
That you are kind.
That you are important.
***** poetry.
Today I just want to say that you matter.

Life or death.
I don't know wich scares me more.

When I have to be strong for you,
When you are scared after watching a horror movie.
It is so hard.
Cause I constantly feel like breaking apart.
I am always so afraid,
Of my own thoughts like my wish to ******* die.

Turning on the music so loud I can't hear my own thoughts.
And that is loud.
Cause in my head there is so much going on.
I am screaming.
I sing along with the song.
Act like I'm fine.
But I am ruining my ears now.
So loud is the music playing.
Trying to fight against my thoughts.
I desperately try to drown them.
They scare me.
I don't think I can always use music to not hear my thoughts.
But true be told I am scared of hearing them.
They might drive me insane.
Push me closer to the edge.
So for now I think I will play the music just some louder.

Some fear spiders,
It is called arachnafobia.
Some fear hospitals,
It is called nosocomephobia.

But how...
How-
Is it called?

Xenophobia,
Fear of strangers.
Coulrophobia,
Fear of clowns.

But how...
How?
How do we call this?
The fear of myself.

Mama.
Why am I so scared of telling you the true?
Why can't I tell you how broken I feel?
I know you would listen.
You won't judge me.
I know.
But mama.
Why am I so scared?
If it is not because of you?
Is it because when I speak my fears that they will even become more real?
Mama
I am so scared.
Mama
I wish I could just tell you.

Your eyes shinning so bright.
Full of love and power.
The most beautiful color I have ever seen.
They make everything else seem insignificant.
All I want to do is get lost in them once more.

There is a ghost in my house,
Scaring me everytime I see her in the mirror,
Short red bown hair,
Black clothes,
An ugly fake mile and dead  eyes,
I know who this ghost is,
She dyed many years ago,
Her name is Natasja Raven,
Her name is mine,
I turned in a ghost a long time ago.

In the moonlight an angel shall dance
playing with nature's purest feelings
with earth's soul
And this angel's dance...
In this bright night...
In the beautiful moonlight...
Will be like an everlasting flame

As a fenix I shall rise
And my wings on fire shall be as bright as the sun
Nothing will be able to stop me
Nor an army of titans nor an ocean
And I will fly