These streams of consciousness are more like waterfalls
And they're bearing hard

dream of boys and sycamore trees
you are every tree broken window pane shooting star crash landing like UFO sighting you are scars and tears in bed sheets like mutilated painting
melodramatic alchemical reactions friction between legs and the toes
heart chakras bending inbetween our spinal bones coffee drips from our lips decaf because we are sleeping and dreaming in each other's holy water tears and the little house of fire we built under the full moon after you failed out of architecture school we were children forgetting how to swim because we test drove people thinking that was love

Now you're seeing foxes and I'm seeing
roadkill calling this spiritual
Sensual exploring of the record and we are the players scratching each other on repeat trying to find meaning in life, in heavy breathing ourselves inside out
not looking in mirrors because we finally see ourselves

You are dancing cubes I dance like the moon gave birth to the Sun
binary staring at each other till we collide and and it scares us because because you are the One
Zero divided by infinty you Fibonacci sequence connecting the patterns of human and ***
we are so microchip trying to logic our way how to love system overload not failure

Sirius A Sirius B
You Orion me in crecent pulsars of ******* like backwards slow motion of looking through a telescope and fighting orbit disorientation of the world spinning us together like the cermaics class you took in college like lost love remembering itself

We smoke each other's cigarettes
Hoping to protect the other's lungs and wearing sunscreen trying to protect our sensitive skin as we melt like candles at each other's touch
This is a love story born on the ripples of skipping stones as we skipped all other lifetimes to fall into lips laced with kindness
The kind that hurts

I push your back against a tree as river heartbeat races below with cold hands and white sycamore staring across like white buffalo we are reborn as the chipmunk chirps, false bird

As the sun lingers like words we have yet to say like tiny convict not daring to escape the teeth cell of our own body because mind says no like bad dog
No early Christmas gift unwrapping each other with the lingering words in the shallow doorway of our our mouths
We are just becoming bilingual
Soon to be fluent in each other and know each freckle constellation and cell plastered on the graph of your skin your scars
are cracks in the wall that let me see into the rooms of you
and i trace the x,y, &z; axis of your body it blooms into muscle memory  
One midnight I'll meet your soul
I hope the stars are sleeping so that's all I'll see and I'll go blind in the light that permeates your eyes
But I'll read those freckle Constellations of your body like braille
Blind but happy

The Sahara desert
Is my garden
But I never could grow anything

Dance in the bed sheets of memory.
As they ice over in a catatonic brain freeze
Because love is like a timeline
Icecream melting on the tracks

The sky looks healthy today.

There's a storm in my teapot
I accidentally let loose
Now the geese are staying here for winter
As the dog waits for a golden egg

I'm finding ways to distract myself
from the clothesline
Where I used to hang your shirts

The sun is boiling over in the ***
Little children are dancing around the eye in a future
I can never have

Curl inbetween the pages of the book I have yet to write
Moon whispering tiny secrets to me over breakfast when she should be asleep

I get love letters from other habitable planets in my oven
I never get a chance to read them

Blame the stars and there infinite possibilities as you try to organize them on your spice rack
Grandma will be here soon to show you how it's done
With her practical magic

Can someone tap into my destiny
And tell me what I'm doing wrong?

I think he makes me forget
That I hate my imaginary friend
The one whose name lurks on your lips in prayer
And hangs above your dinner plate
Christening it with some other dimensional vitamin
In the name of thin words
Blind men built like blimps full of holocausts
Yes them, would be
Coating the stars in blood
Calling it evolution
Irony is God's smile

We light matches till sunrise
And drop acid on swingsets
Forgetting who we are
Till the cops come
And ask us for our IDs

My mother stands with an axe
In front of my sister's door
As if she can chop
                            down her defiance
like a tree

It's late
Home is somewhere before memories
and after a tomorrow that'll never come
And now I'm climbing over a fence
That's gutting me like a fish
With dogs in the distance waiting their turn
                        
                        Flashlights Swirling
like carousels
But there is no childhood
These are just train tracks
And home is something I'll never know

I want somebody
who knows what sadness is
To sit next to me
on this less than solid ground

i don’t hear my name often
Like a trick of reality
is when somebody addresses me
Fade, ghost, do lose hope

Even late bloomers
Wilt

Your family tree dies with the hollow parts
That my blood is draining into
Cells migrating into reincarnation
My Magnolia sister celibate, a new age nun
My sucidal thoughts run deeper than this lineage
But I will not act unless some one brings an ax.

I feel
Through the Earth
Transparent
Deep into the folds
of Space
Far below the Stars
Crowded by Dark Matter
No Light garnishes my sight

Soon we'll talk like overdoses

People who wear glasses
And aren't smart
Are called false advertisements

My stomach hates me for the toxins I indulge in
Swallowing my teeth trying too hard to take words back

I will remember your words
You bury under the sycamore the sun has burnt
I will remember them till I drown in the oxygen my grandmother pulled from a tank
Lead in her lungs from persimmon jelly and fig jam

Mister John's dog still wanders the neighborhood
His master is dead under the turnips

I haven't loved hard enough or well enough

I miss my 50's cluttered gold mailboxes in that quiet haunted hotel to apartment, one bedroom no one sleeps in
The fridge keeps me company
Because you're not home
You are not home

Violent daises over black
Fade on my t-shirt
The washing machine ate too much

My hot tub caught on fire
Mother in the shower
Thank god the neighbor was home

This home is full of people
But it feels so empty
The wind outside
Sounds like waves
Keeping me sane
While I wait for my Peace to return

Nature have you hidden yourself away my dear?
Shyly behind broken branches?
Unnoticed with these concrete sheets surrounding.
Come back.

If I ask kindly and dismiss the Eve of convenience and fun.
Will you come here?
Dawn of the past becoming one in the future we have begun.
TV obsolete in your beauty.

Nature, my Lilith, please take forgiveness?
Reclaim your throne.
Deliver Deliverance.
Come home?

I stab myself with the piercing water from the faucet sideways french kissing it
My eyes distant planets with no GPS home
I stumble away
Stubbed toe an after image

I imagine a new city
Faces I don't know
Disappointments new baseline
I imagine being unmet versions of myself
No more horoscopes fairytales of grandma universe

Just Coffee shops for breakfast with music unknown
Hustlin'
Library books too poor to buy
Pay for rent coffee music plants and lies
Black market your soul to get by

Yellow hands pulling people outside their bodies
Force fed images of reality
Human shells beehive
themselves into just a hive mind
With ignorance of chaos theory

I go back to bed as the train passes by

You're so cute with your
Existential Crisis
The lights go out
And your Ego still shines
Your mind like gold
'Cause you're just like Midas

My memories run stale
Just like your ciggarettes

I'm really good at stepping on my toes.

I got a letter from my brother today...

Basic Training
"One long trip to the gym & firearms"
and in between these times
He sends me a letter
"I miss ya'll real bad"
And I remember the years between
                        us
Wondering when our speaking
will catch up
like trouble did
when were kids
"Never call me back or text me"
Letters a last resort
And so I curse myself
in broken letters

"So I feel like I've been a ****** older brother"
he writes
To his wayward sister
consumed in her own wanderlust
and higher education
fighting with herself
while he's trying to make
peace

We used to say goodbye like it was a ritual
Then it became tradition
And as we found ourselves
in future generations of our self
we can't remember the last time

We tread on broken water
the spout in her neck
running dry
No more, no more goodbye

I’m lost in this abstract world
People call concrete
But none of it seems to make sense to me.

I sketched you
And watered your plants

We had existential sunrises
Blue from inner death
Fond to gnarled tree
Sick memory of you and me

Coffee no longer no longer
Tastes so bitter

Shy with fear
Do not cross yield
Crop circles ahead
Firery brim firey brim firefly sins
Liminal sythaeshtic bliss

Cerberus innocence
Kite crashing
Temptation mixed with tense
Escape escape escape x2
The loneliness
The lonely winds

Coffee no longer coffee no longer
Tastes so bitter
And I miss my name

Bitter little sinner
Bittler little girl
All the same
Bitter little sinner
Bitter little girl
Learning the same mistakes

Interest to abstract concept

he sold his house of cards and joined a band wagon caravan marching carolers streaming down the Nile River playing sad songs better
searching for Jesus and the Pharaoh and Cleopatra and Madonna
pop culture religion


he kissed ferris wheels
I never forgot the clouds
We stole the timelines from trees
Fractal fairytale disease
Symptoms of make believe


Falling in love life
Wonderland lust
Teaching kites how to fly
Graceful ugly ducklings sailing the moon to peterplan
So little princes and Indians can plant sunflowers
While the aliens are on vacation
Like surprise Christmas gifts of sparklers on new years the color of Atlantis books hidden in scrolls in marketplace buddhas

The world travels around us
As we play sad songs better

We build homes for those without
Feed our flesh to the Earth
Death blooming circles Mary go round ring round the rosey sunset kind of apocalypse called bliss

Wisdom streamlined by the old fisherman drowning in the fresh air as pinnochio waves from the whale saved by hopeful generation bred with care compassion
Playing our sad songs better

Christening the weather
Baptising ourselves in the rain
Calling the universe our church
Truth seeds in our hearts and membranes

Hummingbirds living in beehives
Hybrid hope of tomorrow

Letting lions and lambs play with mice
Aesop playing banjo out of tune
Poets turning into to fireflies
Lighting our way home
Through crop circles and ghost stories
Not being anchored by our past
We are no generation Titanic
We just play sad songs better

You burn with the morning dawn
Caresses and confessions
Redefining bakery
With the sugar of smoke on your lips

Dancing in jigsaw puzzles
Some pieces missing
With those called a past life

Shower
While I write sonnets on your mirror

Some local coffee shop
For lunch
With autumn air

Strange festivals of film midday
Botanical wildfire of a picnic forgotten
Late night haircuts with unskilled hands
Stars by lakeside
As drunken men stumble by

Soon clock renews like unmistakable moments destined for memory
Sleep calling our names while we call each other home

He chews his water
Like food for thought
Like he's never thirsty
But always starving

At least leave me a box of matches
So I can build my own fires

The ache has juat become a lingering envelope on my soul
That I'm ready to lick shut
As you do with wounds
Taste the pain till you bleed from your tiny taste buds
Let the lemon of life sting
This future of love is one my mind cannot condure without contradiction of self
Like I must mourn
Till the only thing I'm good at is missing you and losing myself in translation and disappearing into a universe I never loved you in


Because what more can you say when you loved somebody then the curtain falls on a bridge like you're watching some indie film. Just credits made of dandelion seeds taking room somewhere else.

Swept up by the broom of the spring equinox
Warmth in drinking with friends and strangers as the flowers bloom when not looking in their superposition.

I'm not really good at not killing things
Especially the things I love

You gave me a rose bush
And I, and I lit it on fire
That's what you call desire

I'm misguided
My soul trajectory is off
Just like cupid plays with arrows of love
Sometimes God messes up
We are all astray



In this cosmic chaos
But I still met you and try love, you
In my misguided way

I try to put that soul into every cigarette I smoke
Inhale, choke, definetly definetly go broke
Because you can try
But, but it is all rigged like carnival
We're the ones telling ourselves the lies

We are Adam and Eve
As far as knowledge
We are only seeds

You can be certain of nothing
and anything
Superposition
You are, you are the fiction

Those petals, I want them to burn like those lies in September, the end the Summer kind of heat, humid like rainshowers above head in your throat in your lonely lonely bed.

So I put the cigarette down in an ashtray in a mirror house
I am tiny
I have breathed most of my life out

In ways my reflection is changing

I look at the ***** mirror.
The mirror isn't the ***** one.

Giving to the pain
Tides smearing my existence to sand
and I don't mind

I pulled us up front row seats to a thunderstorm
You drape around me like a moth, warm like firefly gold

We don't want to put the lighting in a jar
The future is already too close

I'm tracing the lightning in your arms now.
in love with a boy whose never let my feet hit the ground
An anti-gravity belt
A contract without the bad kind of sadness
a nice jacket to sleep in when you're not here so I can sleep better when I sleep alone, with only bad dreams to keep me company

Sometimes your jacket is better than my dreamcatcher

We pretend like the rain will never come
The future is already too close

The thunder sounds like rolling over in bed
And I'm facing you in my sleep
A distant beep of reality pulls us from the subconscious
Startled out of it
We opened our eyes at the same time
For some reason it made me feel like I opened my eyes the first time in my life

The sky turned blue while
You were gone
I didn't think it was right

Haha, learning to trust and not be deceived by others is an art form I haven't seemed to master.
And I might as well have accidentally amputated my arms in a washing machine that's way too big by trusting too easily
Now I'm damaged goods and I don't know how to hold someone's hand anymore
My scars are so blatant they're like red lights flashing
Reminding me that all I can do is Stop
And
Wait
For when my heart turns green

Bruises like sunspots

Crafting linger
The old woman ties her shoes
Time consumed in her moments of carefullness
While body betrays with cement bones
Cracking from new life wanting to come in

It's like we're in the same boat
But they're different colors

You ask me to a write a poem
What words make the body
Of this paragraph

Aligned Left
italics I think not
Notes and Explicit?
See guidelines
Public...visible to ANYONE

I still
Check your horoscope
Pretend to hear the beat of your heart
I buoy in the ocean as you sail away
You took the mountains, stars, & laundry when you left
Packed them up
Scribbled memories become like paper tumbleweeds fading with disease of time
Friends interview windmills of questions
A brain doesn't know what's best
But that's all that's left
I forgot to carve our names into a tree
The door hinge is mad at me now
Squeaking why in angry backwards Butterfly effects
I bargained with a black man playing checkers on a milk crate who couldn't decide if he was God or the Devil
He said "What's the difference"
I find the loneliness in cermaics class
My hands have forgotten beauty
The clay just melts away in my mixed emotions
I still haven't found acceptance
I went to the graveyard and looked
I looked in the red sweater, your favorite
I looked in the park where I carved you a sycamore walking stick
The same park under the same tree
You told me You didn't wanna be in love anymore
Maybe acceptance is in the crossword puzzle my grandfather mailed me
Or some cult that worships clouds
I think it'll be a white flower alone on top of a mountain far from home
Then I will fall asleep and forget your name

The dead sea is synonymous with me
Salty

We both feel lucky to have each other,
but what happens when the luck runs out

take these broken and weary bones
call them home
folding paper flowers
leafs into owls
stringing them up on close line
next to the windowsills
Hanging ceremonial prayer flags
Stare at clouds instead of each other's eyes
Misdirection not necessarily a lie

Dissociate
To deprecate defile reality uncertain
Drawn are curtains using l
Of mental metal mass produced perception broken compass lipblocked direction affection anntenaes through
Hippocampus can't this be a repeat
Record second scratchin me raw
Hit delete

Noxious talking called small
Bout the weather
I'm no flying machine
Stuck on cloud nine with desentzied time
Sundialing for conversation catch 22

Feeling cotton candy
Lack of oxygen
In-house run house round me
Living post patriarchal society

Sleep is like an enemy that my mind keeps fighting oversensitized media fireworks firing my neurons a circadian rhythm on the spin cycle and even though I'm not sleeping reality is dwelling in hints while obelisks of disorientation  block my sign of light to solid ground. I know my nightmares are in the shadows, watching me, stalking their prey and waiting till slumber sets me down like an adult does to an out of hand child, leaving me vulnerable in innocence to be filled with their toxic energy on one who is too open to the universe. Poor sensitive indigo child you feel the earth breathing and things that should not be there.

Lustful of linguistics
Communication seizing fear
Laughter like a contagion
Conflict vs. Atmosphere

Loneliness creeps inside the hollow parts
As I sit here with more to spare in this gnarled tree of a poker game called love
For you It's just ***
For me the slow tide of a frozen ocean
Calling you my global warming
Take my natural state to the black market
Not even selling me whole

Wishing wells the promise of the unappeased
Choosing hope
A seed unable to grow in my hostile soil
Of a star gone wrong
Trapped in dark universe alone