Test
**** them
How dare you tell me
I'm smart because I got an A
Im smart because I learned the material
I'm smart because I raised my hand
I'm SMART because I know **** that other kids don't know
What do I know
Not taxes
Not mathematics
Not English
Not grammar
Punctuation isn't a thing when you
Have to figure out LIFE
But is it life
Isn't a thing if you don't have
A diploma
So what am I doing
Nothing
I'm not smart
I'm conforming
To a life
That only answers
To a,b or c

I drink
A majority of the time to have fun
To hang out with friends
To laugh
And sing
And just be me
Without being ME
To get out of my head
Because everyday is a constant battle
With anxiety
Or boredom
I'd say depression but I'm not Depressed
Everyday I freak myself out
Is the world going to end
Am I going to die today
Are we even real
Why am I in pain
Should I **** myself
Should I **** someone
WHY IS EVERYONE LOOKING AT ME
WHY ARE THEY YELLING
ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT ME
HELP SOMEONE HELP ME
OH GOD I CAN'T BREATH
WHAT IS AIR
IM DROWNING
IM LOSING CONTROL
IM FIGHTING BUT AM I WINNING
IM SCARED
CAN THEY HERE MY THOUGHTS
IS THIS ALL FOE NOTHING
WHY AM I LIKE THIS
so I drink
A majority of the time to have fun
To laugh
To sing
And just be me
Without being ME

"I love you"
"I Hate you"
Really though they are the same
The more you HATE
The more you show how much you care
The more you LOVE
The more you're open to despair
"I love you..."
"I love you...."
"I LOVE YOU....."
Like I'm pleading for you to need me
Like I need you to want me
Your attention is all I want
Your touch is all I need
I scream in my own head over & over
And it's so good!
Until
I can't take this anymore
Until
Maybe I don't want you to need me
Until
Please stop touching me
Until
Why are we still doing this
Until
"I hate you"
EVERY thing about you makes me mad
Your hair
Your eyes
The way you speak like you KNOW everything
News flash
You don't
"I hate you"
The way you walk
The soft skin you have
The way you held me
"I hate you"
That you made me feel
That you left
That you're not here
"I HATE YOU"
Not just Because loving you got So hard
But because
Hating you made me realize
How much 'I still love you"

My love is like FIRE
So bright and warm you want to touch it
My love is like FIRE
Easy to light and hard to control
My love is like FIRE
Loud and exciting durning the night but when the sun finally comes up
Petty pointless
Unless you want to cook breakfast
And then put me out because lets face it
You only needed me for light,warmth, and food
You only need me to deafin the silence that surrounds the camp site
But dispite that
my love is still a FIRE
And I will let you use me to your hearts content
Because I know even with a sleeping bag you'd still be cold in your tent

Alone in a room of people
Everyone is talking
You want to speak your mind
Then you remember that one person
Who told you to shut up
And now not a ******* thing matters
...
Yeah

Have you ever felt something so dark and consuming.

Unfortunately their are no words that can be said
When it comes to the heart
We don't think with are heads
No logic
No care
Someone is left in despair
It's a beautiful song if you find the right tune
One beat to fast can mess up your boon
One beat to slow, can indeed end your life
Like the stabbing feeling of a cold sharp knife