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Rip
Sky Sep 2018
Rip
It hurts to see your name,
and know how quickly you cut me off -
but I suppose it allows me to move on
and find my happiness elsewhere.
Sky Aug 2018
I've been sitting in darkness for a while,
but you've brought me back to light -
I feel like I'm floating free,
and it is such a relief.
Sky Oct 2015
the flames are rising,
and soon they will rise
above our heads,
only to come crashing back down
like ocean waves,
washing away
the impurities
of the world.
Sky Nov 2015
Shh! Just listen,
Just let me tell you this;
A ray of sunshine piercing
through the blackened clouds;
The speed of light reveals
the color that lies
just past our eyelids.
The raindrops stop;
Precipitation stands still
and dissolves in
the growing ray of sunbeam.
A rose bush, dead and brown;
The light hits it at
just the right angle, and
A tiny bud appears,
growing and growing and
soon to bloom in a burst
of passionate red.
A kiss on a flower-petal cheek;
Frosted pink flares into
a pleased splash of pale red,
and a smile grows below.
A fresh, new bud of love;
It banishes the darkness,
dissloves the chilly downpour,
it wakes me up and opens my eyes.
Shh...are you still listening?
I want to make sure
the words fall from my lips
and land on your tongue
to meet each other's ears.
One, two, three words,
simple and still complicated.
A juxtaposition provokes us
to twine our fingers together
and say,
"I love you."
Sky Oct 2017
Is it odd that
I have yet to write a poem for you?
A poem full of rose petals, a heavy scent
that traps us in each other's arms

I have not put my heart into words for you,
perhaps because I tell you all the time,
Sprinkling the roses over your head
so you know how I feel

I show you how I feel in every
move I make around you,
in every word I say,
so perhaps that is why

I haven't written a love poem for you
because my feelings are already on display
We dance in a rainfall of rose petals,
drowning in the scent of our love.
Sky Feb 2016
As I was watering my roses,
no longer quite so fresh,
I noticed a curious thing:
the thorns were growing larger
even as the flowers died.
S
Sky Apr 2016
S
Silence
settles,
smothering me
slowly,
so
I can't breathe;
Stars
fill my eyes
as silence
slowly
kills me
softly.
Sad
Sky Mar 2015
Sad
Darkness, cold clawed hand,
reaches to grab hold of me.
It wants me to fall.
Sky Nov 2015
Safe.
It’s amazing how safe I feel,
knowing that he’s there.
It’s amazing,
the way my pain and fear
just falls away,
fades into the black.
It’s amazing how
being with him
has allowed me to see the beauty,
the magic of the world
the same way I saw it
before the dark serpent struck.
It’s amazing,
how I am not afraid
to dissolve into his arms,
amazing how it feels
to not be
alone.
Sky Oct 27
This safe space
has my heart ready to burst–

More warmth and affection
than I've ever possibly known

Suddenly pouring over my soul
to bathe me in light and love

A soul mate and a kindred spirit
to show me boundless joy

Surely, this unfolding is just
a silly little fairy tale,

Too good to be true?
I'm reminded every day that it's real

I grow and thrive here,
in the light of friendship and love.
The people in my life now have shown me more life and love and joy than I ever imagined. I'm so happy and so grateful for them.
Sky Aug 2017
I'm sailing away
I'm sailing away
in my head
I'm sailing away
I wish I was dead
But I
got too much to live for
And I
got too much left to say
But I
got too much to live for
And I
got a lot of years left to stay
But I

I'm sailing away
in my head
I'm sailing away
I'm lost inside my head
And it's stormy here
And I
I could die in here

But I
got too much to live for
And I
got too much left to say
But I
got too much to live for
And I
got too many years to stay

I'm sailing away
in my head
I'm sailing away
I should be dead
I'm sailing away
I'll drown in here
I'm sailing away
But I've got to say

That I
got too much to live for
And I
got too much left to say
But I
got too much to live for
And I
will stay!

Sailing away
I'm so far away
Sailing away
I got a lot to say
Sailing away
And I will stay.
This is actually a song that I wrote last night. I have a rough tune for it already, but I doubt it'll ever be recorded in any form.
Sky Mar 2016
Ah, my knight in shining armor,
You’ve saved me yet again
I can breathe again,
I can feel my heart again
It does not beat in pain
It starts to race for you again,
And not for irrational fears
It races at the thought of you
Just the way it’s supposed to
I can feel you again
Sky Nov 2015
i am scared
i am so, so scared
and i don't know what to do
i don't know how to stop it
the fear, the pain
i don't know a way
to get away
that will keep me
alive
not dying inside
not lifeless outside
still breathing and walking and talking
and living
i dont know how

someone please help me

i'm scared.
another **** panic attack...
Sky Apr 2016
F
How would you feel
R
if I carved your name
A
into my skin
N
with a knife?
C
You'd scream, cry, ask me
I
"Why?"
S*
I love you, but I love the pain, too.
Sky Apr 2016
I know you said
it wasn't for the same reasons as me
But knowing that you drew your own blood
still scares me.
Sky Feb 2016
I used to solve my problems with blade and blood.
Sky Jul 2018
I've got scratches on my shoulder,
and cuts on my thigh;
One came from love,
the other from self-hate.
Sky May 2015
S
c
r
i
t
c
h
and
s
c
r
a
t
c
h
pencil
to
paper
building graphite towers
to house the pieces of my soul.
Sea
Sky Sep 2023
Sea
Raging, roiling, boiling sea,
filling every last crevice
inside of me

Washing away my last
gasps of breath,
leaving me winded
and ready for death.

I've swum for so long,
and yet not long enough;
It's not right to give up now
but these waves are getting rough.

I'm getting the hang of
letting myself sink
a bit





Just enough for the cold
to ache in my bones
And every time it rains
My skeleton cries and drones.

The depths are so much
calmer than the rage above,
All I see from here
are faint ghosts that push and shove

I
want to inhale the cold,
but the cold will smother me,
and I'll never grow old.

This all hurts, every wave
and every splash
The rushing current
to pull me under in a flash

I'm just trying to swim,
listen to the silly blue fish,
keep going, don't stop,
You can have anything you wish!

I'm just tired. Is that even allowed?
We say it's okay, but our actions
speak the ugly truth.
There's just no satisfaction.

Everyone around me is tired, too.
Is it fair to stop swimming,
and let them go on in peace?
There's another race I'm never winning.

I don't need a life preserver,
nothing is wrong, because
others around me are drowning, too.
Life simply doesn't take a pause.

This all hurts, I can't breathe,
I don't like what's inside of me
The water I've breathed
boiling and roiling and ready for tea

Leaking through organs
and soaking in my veins
My head is swimming,
and surely that sounds insane.

Must be lack of oxygen flow,
'cause I'm still sinking
Bubbles slipping from my lips
I blow and up they go

Sinking, thinking, dreaming sea
lay to rest what's inside of me,
and in your darkness, I will sleep.
Sky May 2016
Remember the feel of your hair,
Soft between my fingers
As we kissed and I melted,
I struggled to keep my head above the waves
Of love that were crashing over me
But, ah, my love,
I want to drown in you.
Sky Feb 2017
I have a secret:
I am self-destructing.
No!
Don't tell!
Please, just let me go...
if I can't save myself.
You see, the demon in my head is controlling my limbs again,
but I know I can fight him if I really try.
Yes, he makes me bleed and he makes me cry,
but I swear he will never make me die.
I can fight this *******, the terrible beast,
you'll see.
Just don't tell, okay? Don't tell
the world that I'm self-destructing.
Sky Mar 2016
I don’t think I have ever been so grateful
to have a secret come out.
Sky May 2015
Look inside
the black holes
of his eyes
and find
a nightmare
meeting your gaze.

Look inside
past the crimson
of her lies
and find
a terrible tale
hiding just behind.

Look inside
beneath the flawless skin
that protects the beast within
and find
that cruelty is born
when kindness is not seen.

Look inside
Deep in my eyes
Made of starry skies
and find
that the shadows
are reflected there.
Sky Feb 2015
I try to scream
but no one will listen
All they hear is a buzzing fly
Annoying

I wave my arms
but no one will look
All they see is a dull moth
Meaningless

I stand and dance
but no one will watch
All they look at is a glowing screen
Distracting

I write my words
and make them read
Because when they read, they see
Me
Sky Oct 2018
The infection is returning,
seeping into my blood—
soon I will be a creature
of shadows and tears.
Sky May 2015
Shade

Tell me,
why is it that you insist
on embracing sharp shadows?
They slice you open,
yank out red threads from your flesh.
They replace the crimson
with gray and black and dull, dull blue
Colors of a corpse, set underground to rot.
They pour cups of smoke into your mouth
and make you see false things,
make you dance with insanity.
They want to destroy you, these foul shades,
they want to yank your life away.
Push the shadows away,
shove them away
stay away
from their sharp embrace.
Sky Jun 2015
Can you tell me
how the world still spins
when all we want to do is

STOP

and begin again
The shots never cease
tearing through the crowd
And the smoke keeps rising
It's staining the clouds
Red and black
Brown and gray
We've lost sight
of the light of day
We scream and we cry
We fight 'till we die
Fists to the sky
Voices rising high
The battle never ends
Infinite war
The shadow and the sun
Just beyond the door
is a terrible truth'
left behind
in the dust of fantasies
created in our mind
So I'm telling you today
Keep your fists up high
Stretch out your voices
Make 'em touch the sky
We watch the battle
We choose our sides
And the battles only end
when we say goodbye.
Sky Sep 2018
Tonight I wish to dance
with the shadow,
and let him sweep me off my feet;
I wish to let blood stain my wrist
and moonlight pierce my iris
As I embrace the ebony warmth
of my enemy.
I will let the dark feathered wings
sprout from my spine
and lift me away into the stars
To dance only the darkest dance,

and in the morning I will be light again.
Sky Mar 2015
Is a rose a rose?

Nobody knows

what hides beneath those petals

Bloodstained

Smells like rust, like dust

and death

Sweet fragrance

Sharp thorn to ***** your finger

and send you spiraling down

into darkness

Falling

Shadows beneath

every sweet-smelling petal

Stained with blood

With death, with fear

Beautiful mask, nothing more

Underneath, nightmares sleep

Tucked under death-scented sheets

They wear that fragrance,

A sweet perfume

And when they bite you,

You smell it, too
Sky Feb 2015
Nobody knows



Sad

Hateful

Angry

Terrible

Torn

Empty

Ripped apart

Eviscerated

Dying



How I feel
Sky Apr 2017
She
is strong.

She held inside of her
a secret desire
She tucked it away
and swore to find the right love
someday.

She
is 40 years old.
24 years ago she realized
her love
was incorrect
and not allowed.
22 years ago
she hid her desire
and found a love
that was almost true.
18 years ago
a family
was created
with a blonde cry in the eighth hour
of the night.
She
was
happy
there.
A husband,
a daughter,
and love, doubtless.
But
deep
inside
hid
her
secret.

5 months ago,
the family split
into 3 pieces.
Love
is
still
there,
but
family
is
a different word.
5 months ago,
her secret was revealed.

A year ago,
she got a new job
and met a woman.
A year later,
love is
a
new
word.

She is 40 years old.
A daughter,
and a mother.
She
hid
for
over
20
years.

Five days ago,
my mother told me that
she
loves
women.
She fell in
love
with her coworker.

She waited
for tears
or screams
or the dismal sound of the
dreaded
dial
tone.

I
gave
her
none
of
those.

I understand.
She
is
40
years
old.

When she was my age love was
man-woman, nothing else could be accepted,
anything else must be
hidden
or
it
would
be
shunned.

I
am
not
angry or sad.

I am
proud
of her.
Because she
is
strong. I am proud
of my
mother,
because she
has come out.
She is 40 years old.
Daughter, wife, mother.
It still isn't easy, especially with all
of
that
love
in her past.
But she
spoke.
Her secret flew
from her lips
at last,
and she could finally breathe.

My mother loves women,
and that's okay with me.
My mother recently came out as a lesbian to me, my dad, and some of her close friends. it's not completely out for everyone know, but I am proud of her for coming out at all. It's not easy to reveal your true orientation when you've already married and had a child who is now an adult. I love you, Mom!
Sky Sep 2016
But, my love,
I am just so
tired.
Sky Jan 2016
It was such a sudden shift;
laughter and joy and noise and love
abruptly cut off
and the silence of peace deafened me.
Sky Jul 2023
I have a hard time
describing
what my childhood memories
feel like.

I think most my age
still recall their childhood
pretty clearly,
like photographs of various quality.

I feel as though
my memory cracks a little
every time my settings
are changed.

The first crack was graduation,
the flurry and fear of
finally
leaving home.

College became
a hazy blur;
it stings to look at it
directly.

Everything falls short,
I move again,
another crack forms
and I feel the pain.

Memories here
are strange and bittersweet;
The fog here is thick,
and I know I don't want to see.

In the present,
I just try to breathe;
but I feel so detached
from my memories.

Everything feels
so far away,
mirages in a shifting desert;
golden sea swirling with storms.
Sky Apr 2016
S h ii v e rr r . . .
I tremble as I breathe you in
I tremble as I think again
“You are the only one for me,”

S h ii v e rr r . . .
I vibrate under your gentle touch
I vibrate under the force of your love
And let it sweep over my head

S h ii v e rr r . . .
I shiver as I wake,
I shiver as the warmth seeps away,
And I realize that it was just another dream.*

But today I will see you,
And that will be a dream
come true.
Sky Dec 2015
I was looking up,
gazing up at the stars
from a deep black pit,
almost missing
the rope that came
tumbling into the darkness.
I was startled by the sound
of frayed threads smacking against the wall.
I looked up again,
looking to the top of the hole
but couldn’t make out
the face at the top, silhouetted by the moon.
I wrapped my hands around the rope,
took a deep breath to calm my panicked heartbeat,
and began to climb
out of the maw of darkness.
I climbed up, and up,
my feet slipping on the smooth obsidian walls,
but finally
I reached the top.

I found myself face-to-face
with a pair of eyes, colored like mahogany wood,
like the most decadent chocolate,
and they sat above a sunshine smile that melted away
the icy demons that tried to follow me.
The moon and stars were suddenly swamped
by the bright warmth of the sun,
and color filled the world.
My heartbeat was faster than a mouse’s
as I gazed into those eyes
and I realized
that they belonged to my savior.
I found that I’d lost my voice
after sitting silently in that pit for so long,
so I took my pen from my pocket
and wrote my gratitude on my hand,
“Thank you.”

The smile widened,
and the chocolate eyes were melting in the sunshine,
so beautiful, so captivating.
I suddenly found myself in a warm embrace,
and while I would have normally pulled away,
I stayed in those arms.
I didn’t want to leave,
and I was safe, protected, warm.
I sighed and sank into the warmth,
and my soul suddenly grew,
straining against the cage of my ribs.
I felt the hole in my chest,
I felt it as it was filled,
and then it was empty no more.

The songbirds twittered in my ear,
telling me,
“You found it, you found it! You found the other half of your soul.”
I looked up again,
looked back into those eyes,
and watched the sunshine smile lift again,
provoking a sunbeam to grow on my own lips.
Then the sun rays collided in a kiss,
and a fire sprang to life.
And I knew, I knew
I would never be cold again.
Sky Feb 2017
This new exploration
that you're opening me up to
is fascinating and terrifying
and certainly a thrill.
Yes, you do know how to set
a pure girl's heart a-thumping;
You certainly know how to show her
the ways of the night, of sinning in the dark.
It's frightening, for sure,
to be opened and consumed by you,
but such a thrill! Oh, thank you,
for showing me this pleasure.
Sky Jun 2018
I don't know how to keep doing this,
keep living with this monster under my skin -
he likes to come out and play
when I least expect it.
He tears me to pieces,
or, rather,
makes me want to tear
myself
to pieces.
I hate it!

How can I keep living this way,
surely one day
he will win.
Sky Apr 2015
And so it takes my breath away,

yanks it out of my throat

and tosses it to the wind.

  I am left mute,

and when my lips part,

only empty air is able to escape.

  The shadow laughs

at the tears that roll down my face

as I watch my voice drift away

  on the summer breeze.
Sky Feb 2016
You wonder why I can’t say anything
as my lies explode in my face
You decide that my silence is equivalent
to a declaration of “I don’t care.”
But what you don’t understand is that
I DO CARE
and the reason I stay silent is because
nothing I could say would ever matter anyway
You would still tell me
I’m stupid, ignorant, immature, irresponsible
You would tell me that
everything I think I feel for him
is just teenage hormones, not love
You won’t listen to what I have to say,
so I’ll give you silence for an answer
I’ll try to tell you with my eyes
But I’m pretty sure you’re blind
It’s cliche to say that you don’t understand
when obviously you do
But when you refuse to listen to what I have to say
I just don’t understand the point in speaking at all
And I’ll let myself disappear, drift away
It’s a good thing I’m leaving anyway,
because I would be packing my bags right about now.
Sky Jun 2018
Every night,
the words sit on my tongue.
Every night,
your kiss seals my lips.
Every night,
I keep my heart silent again.
Sky Mar 2016
Ah, being so far away from you
is hard, my love, it's hard, my love
And I'm not sure how I'm supposed to relax
when I'm constantly wondering about you
Are you okay?
But I'll be back home
before we know it
And I know you would want me to relax
So I'll try to relax,
but I'll keep you close in my thoughts;
Your silver heart hangs close to mine.
Glad to be on vacation, but missing my bf and soul mate...
Sky Jun 2016
I simply yearn
for the softness of your lips on mine
(they're still tingling from that kiss six minutes ago)
I simply yearn
for the warmth of you holding me
(I'm still warm from your arms around me seven minutes ago)
I simply yearn
to memorize every part of you
*(I feel that there is still something missing here, eight minutes to go)
Sky May 2016
Baby, sing me to sleep
But the night is still so young
Baby, please, sing me to sleep
But the stars are bright for us
Baby, just sing me to sleep
Look at how the moon gleams, a silver coin
Baby, I’m begging you, sing me to sleep
Just let me kiss you instead
Baby, I’m sorry, I just need to sleep.
Sky Jan 2016
She sinks,
curled into a fetal position,
clutching the gold chain to her chest,
letting herself fall through the blue
Her eyes closed,
squeezed tightly shut,
so she doesn’t see the figure
pushing through the jeering crowd,
yelling at her tormentor,
flying through the air.
She doesn’t feel the ripple
as he dives into the water.
As her thoughts fade away,
bubbles slipping from her lips,
she feels arms wrapping around her
to carry her away.
Even as she’s gasping for breath,
she keeps her eyes shut
as she’s carried out of the blue.
And it’s only when she’s placed upon
a surface that is warm and soft
rather than hard and unforgiving
That she finally opens her eyes
to greet her savior.
She shivers, looking into eyes
that are far too warm to be human
But they are set in a human face
that shows only genuine concern,
with a lips that part to send a question into her consciousness:
“Are you okay?”
She just stares at him,
and suddenly starts to cry
Because she never knew
that anyone could ever care.
Sky Apr 2015
Ominous,
The sound of sirens
just before
He should be home by now.

Ominous,
The blaring of my phone
and unfamiliarity
I do not recognize this number.



Ominous,
the solemn voice on the other end
telling me
Surely she's called the wrong person?

Ominous,
the way the world starts to crack
just before
Everything is shattering around me.
Sky May 2015
Send me down
six feet under
choking
on rust, on dust
on the stench of misplaced trust
You couldn't see me
you were blind to
who I am
So pick up a shovel
dig out the *****
and send me down
Deep down
underground.
Sky Apr 2016
"...who are about to graduate in six weeks..."*

Six weeks.
Six weeks?!

How is it only six weeks
to the end of safety?

Am I really ready for
the real world?
Sky Feb 2015
I look at my hands...
I see ash
I look at my eyes...
I see empty black holes
I look at my face...I see a grinning skull
I look at my shadow...
I see a monster
Reaching out to pull me underground
I am falling apart
Inside and outside and under the skin
My mouth is open wide...
I am screaming unheard words
They echo inside of my head
Until someone hears
And saves me from the skeleton I have become
Do you see me now?
I am nothing more than bone
Carved with the sharp words that fly
Out of your mouth
Do you hear me now?
I have been screaming and crying inside
for so long
Tears refuse to fall...
I am a stone wall...
I used to be
But now I've become something much more gruesome
I am screaming unheard words
They echo inside of my head
Until someone hears
And saves me from the skeleton I have become
I am becoming this
This is what you've made me
You can still save me
Just open your eyes
And see the pain
Just open your ears
And hear me scream
Just open your mouth to the sky
and
scream
unheard words
They echo inside of our heads
Until someone hears
And saves us
I am screaming unheard words
They echo inside of my head
Until someone hears
And saves me
I am screaming unheard words
They echo inside of my head
Until someone hears
And saves me from
The skeleton I have become
I am falling apart
Inside and outside and under the skin
My mouth is open wide...
Sky
Sky May 2016
Sky
She walks as though
there are clouds beneath her feet;
Her heart is the same color
as her name.
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