Dear God ,
Please don't make him cry
All of my smiles can be taken away
and given to him.
And pour me all his tears.

I miss him,  listening to his voice
Makes my tears to well up in my eyes
And my voice gets struck in my throat
Even the words I miss you becomes hard to say
I simply melt when I see him
i will weep over his absence if I don't see him

if I knew that would be our last time for a long time

i really would have hugged you tighter

and i would have kissed you

i would have made you smile a little more and a little brighter.

when will i ever see you again?

i know it's not soon but

i  wish it is

but still here i wait , for you

You are all I can think about all day.

Every text , I hope it's from you.

Every call I hoped might be from you.

Longing to see your face.

Longing for the smile I get on my face

wanna see you just for one more minute  

that all i wish for

Today I don't know
I just want him here want him to wrap his hands  around me
I want to hug him like a bee hugs flowers
I just miss him so much that it's making it hard to breath .
I can't make him see me cry but
I can't hide my tears in my eyes ..
I never realised when I loved him this much
it just hurts my heart now that
I know that I won't see him again
or hug him or even fight with him
I just want him back

if god gives me a chance at death
i will take it

after a certain age
even your mother won't wipe your tears
you should do it on your own
so do it on your own

when does it end?
does it really end ?
how long will you hurt me and act like i hurt you
why cant you notice i am same as you
my feelings do get hurt like yours
my eyes do get tears like yours
you were supposed to protect me
but how did you end up hurting me the most
do you even ever realize you are hurting me
do you even care?
why should i act like a parent to you
when you were supposed to be mine
why should i heal you from the scars
that i never was never part of
why should i take the blame for your mistakes ?
why cant i just be a happy child ?
why ?

how can i not cry ?
how can i not cry ?
when the pain is in my throat  and
tears are in my eyes
and the thoughts in my brain are telling me to die
how can i not cry ?
when all i see is the dark sky
and when my life is not mine
how can i not cry ?
when your harsh words break my heart
and when nobody is standing to defend me
how can i not cry ?
so please tell me how to not to cry

i just have you in my head
but i desperately want you in my bed

you are indelible how can i ever tell you this
how can i ever be anyone's
when even in my imagination
you are haunting me
the memories are haunting me
you are just too well tangled in my soul
the memories are just indelible

i think if you miss me hard
i can feel it in my heart

the amazing thing people call "love"
eventually becomes loneliness
the love i know is "to be abandoned"
to be first priority and then become the last priority
and then you pass away

i don't like anything right now
anything except "you"
i don't feel anything around me
except "you"
i don't fee like living but
i don't wanna die
i cant give you up
but i cant hold you tight
wanna wakeup with you
but never had the chance
gonna give all my love
for the life
all of my life ,
all of yours,
all of my love , for all of you life
know i made things up
but i want them true
never let you go
cause i don't know how to
never knew my life before you
now you are all i ever wanted
i don't know what all I'm missing
but it is you
definitely

i just feel like i'm just a puppet in my life
but the owner is someone else

after a really long time
i could dream
i could smile in my dream
i could really live

what is more beautiful than "death"

i will get on my knees for you
and i will be on the knee if you would just say yes

when the world get harsh
i will run to him

"im fine" "im fine" "im fine"
don't know how long i will keep telling this lie to myself

it feels like without your love
i'm "NOTHING"

all the lies we tell ourselves and to the world

How does someone who has never experienced happiness define happiness?

i tried but i couldn't let u go
but now i understood that
i never will

and today i decided to let you go but i don't know if  i ever will

i can die with ur kiss

i'm trying to love you from afar

what an imbecile i am for not telling you that i love u back

i didn't know that i could love you this hard
and also i didn't know that i could miss you harder

BEING WITH YOU
brings me back to life
and life back to me

you and i related in a way
how October and love are related

wish my mouth can say
the words i love you
like my eyes do...

how did it all went from
daily one hour calls to a single reaction emoji
hurts me so much
and its killing me inside

I want someone to love me in the same way
that James Arthur wrote "Say You Won't Let Go."
and all of his other songs

is it really over ?
it shouldn't hurt so much
but why does it hurt this much
do you still remember it all to well
does it hurt you the way it does to me?

i wish i can disappear
sometimes .... too often.....
i really wish that

we don't forget memories
they are in my soul
reminding me that
you are my one and only precious love

ohhhh! to be in love with you

i longed  for you
i still dooooooooooooo....
i always will

how can i stop myself
from falling in love
with you
with every glance
with every beat of my heart
with every thought
with every tear
so please tell me
how can i stop myself
from falling in love with you

now i just watch them slowly walking away
while killing me a little inside
with every step they take

god
can i miss him a little less and love him a little long

i think i would and will always care for you

love , how can i teach you to love me ?
love can never be taught

Lets just love each other in silence

now i can feel the line
" for you a thousand times over"
but also  it feels like even thousand can be less

why do u always look up when u are sad ?
at least the starts will look at the tears
that people failed to see

congrats
finally you did too
now it hurts like hell

you are my poisoned ivy
and you are my four clover leaf

how can i unlove her when
she is the proof of my existence