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Hayleigh Oct 2015
We stopped asking questions
Because we were too afraid to
Know the answers.
Hayleigh Feb 2015
How many opportunities
Do we miss
Because we're too afraid
To take the risk
Hayleigh Dec 2014
Lips like red wine
And me,
I could drink and dine
on them
For a lifetime.
Hayleigh Feb 2015
You've made some mistakes,
I have too.
In some ways we’re pretty similar,
in others I am nothing like you.
Hayleigh Jul 2014
The curtains close and I throw a rose into the stage, as the pages of our story meet, in harmony.
We say our goodbyes.
Hayleigh Oct 2014
you were dust before i held you
and your memories were tainted
before we fell through
the cavities of each others hearts.
Hayleigh Mar 2015
Wind mills in our skulls
So fast we can't get a grasp on
Pretty pills
As we stare out
Of barred windowsills
Hayleigh Jun 2014
Your insecurities,
all those flaws you believe to be impurities,
are beautiful,
to me.
Hayleigh Sep 2014
i miss the way you planted butterflies in my stomach and fireflies in the pupils of my eyes.
Hayleigh May 2017
She pinned me to the wall
Breath heavy, legs a p a r t
Like the most beautiful canvas
Begging for art.
Hayleigh Jan 2015
How could our love die
when it lives
in these pages?
Hayleigh May 2014
You tell me your afraid of the dark
well darling, ill stand in the shadows of your heart
and blaze a path,
so bright,
you won't have to be frightened anymore.
Hayleigh Oct 2014
I take my hands
And lace them tightly around your trembling heart,
I pull you in close
and promise you a fresh start
using
hand picked words of art
you place your palm
in mine
as we embark and unwind
the knots within your mind
together we find
solutions for the pollutions
that others have left behind.
First draft will revisit this.
Hope you're all okay. Sorry haven't wrote in a while been focusing on my recovery. Big love and hugs to you all x
Hayleigh Nov 2014
Your lies coagulated in my veins.
Hayleigh Jan 2015
Darling she's the most beautiful piece of literature
you'd ever have had the pleasure of discovering
reading, indulging in, bringing to life
it's your fault, regret, mistake
that you tossed her to the side
because something less than average
caught your eye
Hayleigh Nov 2014
My mind is a hurricane,
my tongue a tsunami,
A natural disaster
But that's okay
because you told me
nature was beautiful
and I've never wanted to believe anything more.
Hayleigh Jun 2015
You show me how to make peace with the person I have spent so many years at war with, myself.
Hayleigh May 2015
The silence of losing you
Is deafening.
Hayleigh Dec 2014
Me?
I was born a storm
A whirlwind of inner turmoil
Tsunamis tripping off my tongue.
Hayleigh Feb 2015
If breaking hearts is a crime
Death row awaits you.
Hayleigh May 2014
Im falling apart,
pick a character, play your part.
Its okay darling
Im a lover of the arts.
Hayleigh Jan 2015
You have touched me
Left fingerprints
In places no other ever has
And nobody else
Ever will.
Hayleigh Sep 2014
You were like the purest of rainbows shooting through my veins.
You were better than any pills, ****** or *******.
No drug around, made me feel the same,
helped me forget,
the way you called my name.

And i would have done anything for just one more fix,
a touch, a hit, the taste of those lips.
But reality it slips and skips,
and misses,
and slowly but surely,
I recovered without those kisses.
Hayleigh Nov 2014
I wish i could capture the way you look at me
And cram it into a frame
So that i could wake up feeling
Beautiful, every single day.
Hayleigh May 2014
Why is it so hard
for us to accept ourselves as we are,
and yet so easy to pick out our
imperfections and scars
and allow them to taint and tar,
combine and define
the picture we paint
The person we are,
and the person we believe we should be.
The staged presentation
we allow others to see.
Hayleigh Dec 2014
She ignited a fire in me
That I prayed
She would never extinguish.
Hayleigh Jun 2014
There are no words, no carefully stringed sentences, no clever use of metaphors, alliteration, punctuation and full stops,
that allows us to crop and capture,
the rapture,
of love.
Hayleigh Jun 2014
just because you can't see the stars it doesn't mean they're not shining.
Hayleigh Dec 2014
No matter how lost I am
You always guide me home.
Hayleigh Aug 2014
I find myself in coffee shops
drinking down espresso shots,
in a haste,
in an attempt,
to rid the bitter sweet taste,
you left in my mouth,
and on the corners of my lips.
Hayleigh Aug 2014
And being in your arms
felt like coming home
and there was no scent more reassuring
Than the sweet smell of your cologne
as it enveloped me
in sanctity, security,
as the purity of your love
set sail so gently
upon my frail, abandoned, shipwrecked
body.
War
Hayleigh Nov 2014
War
If we balanced our beliefs
Based on our griefs
Maybe we would cease
Fire.
Maybe the pleas,
And the consequences of dire,
Would be enough to aspire
To a better place,
To a new face
In that of justice.
Hayleigh May 2014
Mistakes,
everyone makes,
but how much more
self criticism
do we take
before it breaks
us.
Hayleigh Jan 2015
Every day
We fall further in love with
One another
We defy
The laws of physics
Some more.
Hayleigh Nov 2016
I can still feel his hands
around my heart.
Hayleigh May 2014
What if the sky isn't blue?
What if the grass isn't green too?
What if the sea isn't wet?
What if we never felt the sharp sting of regret?
What if morning never came?
What if there was no sunshine after the rain?
What if the leaves they didn't dance?
What if love didn't involve romance?
What if humanity ceases to exist?
What if time, was all but a myth?
What if the suns rays didn't shine?
What if poetry didn't rhyme?
What if the breeze never blew?
What if birds never flew?
What if colours existed in shades we'd never imagined?
What if no one could recall, terrible things that have happened?
What if there was no such thing as war?
What if no one closed or opened a door?
What if no one died?
What if no one ever lied?
What if humanity wasn't corrupted?
What if this world we live in, wasn't distructed.
What if global warming was just a scare?
What if all parties involved chose to play fair?
What if life didn't end in dying?
What if we were all satisified, just because we were trying?
Bored in hospital on a Saturday so thinking out loud and questioning the world using rhyming couplets..
Hayleigh Dec 2014
So what is recovery?
Is it that tingle in your cheeks
When the corners of your mouth meet
Upwards.
Is it that sparkle in your eyes
Because they're no longer suffocated by your cries and you now have the potential to realise
You are strong.
Is it that glimpse of light, that for so long had been out of sight, that you cling onto tight, through fear
It's only temporary.
Is it rediscovering yourself, rebuilding your health and developing a new wealth
Of coping mechanisms.
Is it realigning the chemical imbalances in your brain, so you no longer feel insane, so there's not less pain
But a mind that can handle it.
Is it the glimpse in the mirror where you don't turn in horror but you greet and honour the person that you are.
Is it the fear, that's consumed you year by year, that's brought the end so near,
That starts to evaporate.
Is it eating a meal, and not having to feel like
You need to punish yourself.
Is it hearing voices, but no longer allowing them to dictate your choices,
Because they don't own you anymore.
Is it putting down the bottle, because you're fed up of the throttle
It had you in.
Is it the feeling when you finally win
Back your own heart and mind
When finally you look inside
And don't find
Darkness but light,
When the night no longer scares you
And the days you can finally pull through
Or is it simply a phase
A gaze at what could never be
For there is no clarity,
No prospect to be free
In chains and nooses
And scars and bars.
In bodies that fight to survive
Trapped inside a mind that fights to take our lives.

Some of us; shall never be undone
We fight a war;
That could Never be won.
First draft....
I think recovery is all of these things whilst accepting there is always the risk that it is temporary if you allow it to be.
Hayleigh Nov 2016
I'm still spitting your lies out of my mouth.
Hayleigh Aug 2017
Every three seconds someone in the world is diagnosed with dementia, that works out as 9.9 million new cases of dementia world wide each and every year. In 2017 the number of sufferers was said to be just under 50 million, this number is set to almost double every 20 years.

I am walking for a world where people do not have to live in fear of losing themselves before they lose their lives. Where the only wandering that takes place is not up and down corridors, in streets, or in care homes but is that wonder of what life was like for those that suffered. Where the only reason that questions are asked is because people don't have to experience what it's like to have to lose a loved one to this disease. Where hands can feed their own mouths, where brains don't shut down, where people recognise the sound of their own voice, their reflection, where mirrors don't scream rejection.

I am walking for a time when people have a sense of time, of the date, of the year, where they don't live in fear of a diagnosis that stamps them with an expiration date, that defines and underlines the heavy hearted fate they are yet to await.

Where the only memories lost are the memory loss of what these symptoms and statistics sound like.
Where the only thing misplaced is the difficulties faced, because no one has to endure this illness anymore.
I am walking for a world without dementia.

Any and all donations welcome.

Thank you.

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/mw266787
Hayleigh May 2014
To aspire and inspire, to analyse, criticise, to encourage, share, support and advise.
Hayleigh Jun 2014
You scream urgency
Like an accident and emergency
waiting room,
like a person relapsing into addiction,
Because they pushed themselves
too soon.
And there are claw marks in the soil,
Where you've tried to get to grips,
with solid ground,
There's a danger in your voice,
Like a lost child waiting to be found,
And you string sentences at a time
but no sound emits.
Danger, like,
Racing cars and frightened cries,
And there are holes in your back,
Formed by the lies,
You've been subjected too
And i wonder if i could use them
To breath life back into you.
I wonder if i get close enough,
If i could see,
The dreams and memories,
Before they turned stale
And congealed in your veins,
And left you entangled in the remains.
The valleys of your eyes,
Run wide and down deep,
And when you weep,
Your tears fall heavier,
Than a ten tonne van,
You're a shadow of the man,
You used to be,
And even your shadow,
Has deserted you,
Sought someone anew.
And your foundations
Are built on heartache and pain,
And those little tear ducts in your eyes,
Constantly rain,
But you you're in a draught,
All the love you've showered others in
Means you've ran out,
for yourself,
And your health is a picture
Of cigarettes and late night drinks,
Old whiskey, poured down sinks,
And you're reaching the brink,
The breaking point,
But you quite like the sound,
Of broken plates,
And you quite like the taste,
Of self destruction.
And there's a ghost,
Where you used to be,
Haunting the curves
Of your smile,
That you paint on,
Why you defile
Your skin,
This terror your living in,
Could start a thousand wars,
And this battle your fighting,
Inside of your mind,
Leaves a carcus, a morsel,
Of yourself behind.
Your insides stick to the past,
Like double sided cello tape,
And there are windchimes in your spine,
Where your bones should be,
And your heart on your sleeve,
Is clouded,
By red marks where you've sliced open your skin,
In at attempt to be free,
Of those demons, the sin,
For a new beginning.
There's toxic in your lungs,
And a noose around your neck,
Where you've hung your expectations
Too high,
And you're hanging by a thread,
And tying knots the further down you slip,
As you sip,
Another shot of courage.
But there's only so long,
One can hold on for,
And believe me I've been down
To the depths of hell and danced with the devil
On many occasions,
And the sheer frustration,
Of the attempts to be patient,
Are wearing thin,
Like the warm skin, that stretches,
Over your protruding bones.
Just a first draft..
Hayleigh Jul 2014
You scream urgency like an accident and emergency waiting room, like a person relapsing into addiction, because they pushed themselves too soon.
And there are claw marks in the soil, where you've tried to get to grips, with your inner turmoil.
And there's a danger in your voice, like a lost child waiting to be found, and you string sentences at a time but no sound, emits. As you sit in fits, of hysterics.
Danger, like racing cars and frightened cries, and there are holes in your back, formed by the lies, you've been subjected too. And i wonder if i could use them to carefully breathe, life back into you.
The life that you seem to have let slip through your finger tips, like dry sand, and there are wants and demands, taped to the pupils of your eyes, and i wonder if i get close enough, if i could see, if i could prize, them open.
The dreams and memories, before they turned stale and congealed in your veins, before they curled up and died, and left you entangled, in the remains.
And the valleys of your eyes, run wide and down deep, and when you weep, your tears fall heavier, than a ten tonne van, falling from unreachable heights.
And there are marks on your body, where you've lost the fights, the sleepless nights, with yourself. And you're a shadow of the man, you used to be, and even your shadow, has sought someone anew.
And your foundations are built on heartache and pain, and those little tear ducts in your eyes, they constantly rain. torrential down pours.
And there is hopelessness, embedded deep within your pours and despite the ongoing rain, you,you're in a draught, all the love you've showered others in means you've ran out, for yourself.
And your health, is a picture of cigarettes and late night drinks, old whiskey, poured down sinks.
And you're reaching the brink, the breaking point. But you quite like the sound, of broken plates and you greet with haste, the familiar taste of self destruction.
And there's a ghost, where you used to be, haunting the curves of  your smile, watching you all the while, as you destroy and defile, the cold skin, that stretches over your protruding bones.
This terror your living in, lures the wolves home, could start a thousand wars, and this battle your fighting, these revolving doors, inside of your mind, leave a carcus, a morsel, a shell, of yourself behind.
And your insides stick to the past, like double sided cello tape, and there are windchimes in your spine, counting down the time you wait, for freedom to meet you with open arms, and your arms, paint a picture of self harm, in bright red pen, and the ringing of alarms is renewed again and again.
And your heart on your sleeve, is clouded, and weaved, between fragile pastel pink scars, and the hesitation in your voice, jars any conversation, and you scream in frustration as we express your complications.
And you, you wish desperately, that you could be free, of those demons, the sin, for a new beginning.
And there's toxic in your lungs, and a noose around your neck,where you've hung your expectations too high,
And you're hanging by a thread, and the further you slip, the more knots you tie, in an attempt to buy time,
And you drink down each crime against yourself, with another bottle of wine, as you search and unwind, the mazes within your mind.
And you can see in the way you carry your frame, that you've been to the depths of hell and danced with the devil in vain, on many occasions,
And your eyes they tell tales wanders, of liquid sedation, as you squeeze into a nation, too small, too handle, too inexperienced, too dismantle, the train wreck, you see, every time you look intensely, at your reflection,
And your recollections of your past, are like shards of sharp glass,scattered between the seams of your life, and you, you batter the strife, with drug filled bombs, painful tongues and licks, of the kicks, you deny to be true, as you continue to fall through, reality in a clarity, smeared with drunken violence, and ear piercing silence.
Redrafted with a new format and structure. Hope you all like it.
Hayleigh Dec 2014
Words could never capture you,
Encapsulate you, encompass you
Because they are not strong enough
To withhold such beauty
They are too small to occupy
The love you carry
They are too trivial, too mundane
Too exhausted
To distinguish, define and denote
To embrace
Everything that I love,
Everything that I believe in,
Everything that matters,
Everything that is you.
Hayleigh Oct 2014
I remember the first night we kissed
The feeling of fireworks
Erupting on my lips
Of electricity pulsing through your fingertips
Tracing down my hips
To the curves of my spine
The standstill of time
As your eyes looked deeply into mine
And you drew the words i love you with your hot breath
And stamped them
Beneath my rib cage.
Hayleigh Apr 2014
And if I could write
and recite
these happenings within my mind
one can only wander
what words one could find
to describe
what one has never understood
and if I could
there'd be no need to bleed
a pen of its ink
if only I had the ability
to decipher what I think.
x
Hayleigh Oct 2014
x
Missing you feels like,
a cold, empty hand,
clamped around the lonely shadows of
my heart, in the crevices of the sheets,
Cradling myself at four in the morning.
x
Hayleigh May 2014
x
Fear not there haunted eyes,
a young girl, broken,
behind them lies.
X
Hayleigh Oct 2020
X
I would withstand a lifetime of sun free and starless skies
to watch
the s u n r i s e
in those eyes
Just one last time

Some days it as though you never left
Others
there is a swelling cavity surging beneath the bones of my chest

Tell me when do you plan on giving me back my heart?

I’m tired of new beginnings and I’m folding at the thought of fresh starts.

There are only so many times I can break and bend and rise again.

there are times I swear I feel those soft hands
Brush across my sombre skin
Do you remember those nights
We’d forget to remember
where I ended and you’d begin

My mind is on fire with the thought of you.
I can’t put you out, rip the taste out my mouth.

How can I be hers when I have only ever been yours?
X
Hayleigh Jun 2015
X
Irrevocably, irrefutably, incomparably.



Infinitely.
xx
Hayleigh May 2014
**
When I burn around my edges
And sometimes my very core
You shower me with your love,
When it rains it pours.
An extract taken from my previous poem, i feel it has enough power to stand alone..
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