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Hayleigh Jan 2015
She anchors me
And yet at the same time
Sets me free.
Hayleigh Nov 2014
Beneath the surface
I start to boil,
My inner turmoil,
The tangled weeds,
Overgrown in the soil
Of my mind
Begin to unravel and unwind
And once again I am at risk
Of losing myself
Amongst poison ivy,
Planted by the lies
you told me.
Hayleigh May 2014
Me?
I am astoundingly lucky,
You make me indescribably happy.
You free me from the deepest of insecurities,
and teach me,
To love myself,
show me the beauty you see,
teach me
to be, all i can be.
Hayleigh Mar 2015
I miss the way my name slipped through your lips the way water slips through finger tips
Hayleigh Dec 2014
She was an earth quake
And with one touch
I would forsake
Everything.
Hayleigh May 2014
What happens when she doesn't want rescuing
When this mission you're persuing
is all in vain.
Hayleigh Dec 2014
There's no better feeling than waking tangled up in her skin.
Hayleigh Sep 2014
i miss the way you planted butterflies in my stomach and fireflies in the pupils of my eyes.
Hayleigh Jun 2014
There are no words, no carefully stringed sentences, no clever use of metaphors, alliteration, punctuation and full stops,
that allows us to crop and capture,
the rapture,
of love.
Hayleigh Jan 2015
You don't look through me like most, you look deep inside, pick up every flaw and regret and make a toast to the wonders that make me, me.
Hayleigh Jan 2017
I'll make masterpieces out of you, if only you'll let me.
Hayleigh Feb 2015
Home is
The scent
The taste
The feel
The sound
The sight
Of you.
Another little write on home.
Hayleigh Nov 2014
My mind is a hurricane,
my tongue a tsunami,
A natural disaster
But that's okay
because you told me
nature was beautiful
and I've never wanted to believe anything more.
Hayleigh Mar 2015
I want to feel
my legs shake,
as you create an
earth quake
inside of me
that'll leave me quivering
for days.
Hayleigh Feb 2015
That goodbye
Where it feels
As though each word trips over the other
Slips between your lips
And stumbles heavily
Out of your mouth.
Hayleigh May 2014
Life is a maze,
Some of us get lost along the way.
Inspired by poetic T
Hayleigh Jan 2015
Love like fire
Is a very beautiful and dangerous thing.
Hayleigh Dec 2014
Every time we kiss I taste happiness on my lips.
Hayleigh Dec 2014
You cradle my name beautifully
Between your berry red lips.
Hayleigh Feb 2015
One seed of doubt gets planted in my mind and suddenly I'm lost in a jungle.
Hayleigh May 2014
She closed the door
On what could have been
Wiped the floor
Of what should have been
Cleared the shelves of our memories
Washing her hands
Of the eternity
That we had both promised.
She painted the walls, and decked the halls
With her new lovers pen
Changed the locks
So I couldn't see her again.
She wrote away our history
On a little post it note
And sent it in an envelope of
Divorce papers
She called in the painters and decorators
And started anew
Put to bed
All that we'd been through
And left me dangling
By a thread
Waiting for the phone to call
For any sign at all
That this wasn't true.
Waiting for the I love yous
That had warmed even the coldest of mornings
Better than any cup of coffee ever could
Waiting for the reassuring cuddles and kisses
That had made me feel so, so good.
Waiting
For
The one person who had always caught me, to catch me
As I fell
Head first into an abyss
Of late nights and stiff drinks
That she'd spent years, pouring down sinks.
But since she's been gone
I've picked up the bottle again
And it's began to throttle the pain.
So I drink down the past and remains in whiskey drops
Until the floor lures me
I lose sight of the clocks
And hit the decks.
If I was a pirate,
I'd make a mighty good ship mate
But as it is
I'm not and I'm late for work
And wearing odd socks
A shadow of the man I used to be.
And even my shadow doesn't recognise me.
Hayleigh Jan 2015
In the moments that I'm missing you, waves crash over me.
Every night that we're apart, I find myself drowning.
Hayleigh Jul 2014
The curtains close and I throw a rose into the stage, as the pages of our story meet, in harmony.
We say our goodbyes.
Hayleigh Nov 2014
You cascade over me like a waterfall
Hayleigh Jul 2015
Every morning I wake with you
I swear I can see
Last nights stars dancing through your hair
And the sun rising in the pupils of your eyes.
Hayleigh Sep 2015
I sit, take a sip, of my tea,
It doesn't taste the same
The razors don't take away the pain
Of hearing your name.
Hayleigh Dec 2014
She ignited a fire in me
That I prayed
She would never extinguish.
Hayleigh Nov 2014
I spent years building up a picture of you
A scenic view
Only to open my eyes and realise
The holes in the cracks
The gaps in the tracks
You'd fell through
Hayleigh Dec 2014
And though we're apart
She promised
To stay tangled up in my heart.
Hayleigh Jun 2014
The valleys of your mind,
are the prettiest **** wrecks
I've ever seen.
Hayleigh Jul 2014
Im a wasted rescue mission.
Throw down your ammunition
i have enough to tear myself apart.
War
Hayleigh Nov 2014
War
If we balanced our beliefs
Based on our griefs
Maybe we would cease
Fire.
Maybe the pleas,
And the consequences of dire,
Would be enough to aspire
To a better place,
To a new face
In that of justice.
Hayleigh May 2014
Mistakes,
everyone makes,
but how much more
self criticism
do we take
before it breaks
us.
Hayleigh Jan 2015
Every day
We fall further in love with
One another
We defy
The laws of physics
Some more.
Hayleigh Nov 2016
I can still feel his hands
around my heart.
Hayleigh May 2014
What if the sky isn't blue?
What if the grass isn't green too?
What if the sea isn't wet?
What if we never felt the sharp sting of regret?
What if morning never came?
What if there was no sunshine after the rain?
What if the leaves they didn't dance?
What if love didn't involve romance?
What if humanity ceases to exist?
What if time, was all but a myth?
What if the suns rays didn't shine?
What if poetry didn't rhyme?
What if the breeze never blew?
What if birds never flew?
What if colours existed in shades we'd never imagined?
What if no one could recall, terrible things that have happened?
What if there was no such thing as war?
What if no one closed or opened a door?
What if no one died?
What if no one ever lied?
What if humanity wasn't corrupted?
What if this world we live in, wasn't distructed.
What if global warming was just a scare?
What if all parties involved chose to play fair?
What if life didn't end in dying?
What if we were all satisified, just because we were trying?
Bored in hospital on a Saturday so thinking out loud and questioning the world using rhyming couplets..
Hayleigh Dec 2014
So what is recovery?
Is it that tingle in your cheeks
When the corners of your mouth meet
Upwards.
Is it that sparkle in your eyes
Because they're no longer suffocated by your cries and you now have the potential to realise
You are strong.
Is it that glimpse of light, that for so long had been out of sight, that you cling onto tight, through fear
It's only temporary.
Is it rediscovering yourself, rebuilding your health and developing a new wealth
Of coping mechanisms.
Is it realigning the chemical imbalances in your brain, so you no longer feel insane, so there's not less pain
But a mind that can handle it.
Is it the glimpse in the mirror where you don't turn in horror but you greet and honour the person that you are.
Is it the fear, that's consumed you year by year, that's brought the end so near,
That starts to evaporate.
Is it eating a meal, and not having to feel like
You need to punish yourself.
Is it hearing voices, but no longer allowing them to dictate your choices,
Because they don't own you anymore.
Is it putting down the bottle, because you're fed up of the throttle
It had you in.
Is it the feeling when you finally win
Back your own heart and mind
When finally you look inside
And don't find
Darkness but light,
When the night no longer scares you
And the days you can finally pull through
Or is it simply a phase
A gaze at what could never be
For there is no clarity,
No prospect to be free
In chains and nooses
And scars and bars.
In bodies that fight to survive
Trapped inside a mind that fights to take our lives.

Some of us; shall never be undone
We fight a war;
That could Never be won.
First draft....
I think recovery is all of these things whilst accepting there is always the risk that it is temporary if you allow it to be.
Hayleigh Nov 2016
I'm still spitting your lies out of my mouth.
Hayleigh Aug 2017
Every three seconds someone in the world is diagnosed with dementia, that works out as 9.9 million new cases of dementia world wide each and every year. In 2017 the number of sufferers was said to be just under 50 million, this number is set to almost double every 20 years.

I am walking for a world where people do not have to live in fear of losing themselves before they lose their lives. Where the only wandering that takes place is not up and down corridors, in streets, or in care homes but is that wonder of what life was like for those that suffered. Where the only reason that questions are asked is because people don't have to experience what it's like to have to lose a loved one to this disease. Where hands can feed their own mouths, where brains don't shut down, where people recognise the sound of their own voice, their reflection, where mirrors don't scream rejection.

I am walking for a time when people have a sense of time, of the date, of the year, where they don't live in fear of a diagnosis that stamps them with an expiration date, that defines and underlines the heavy hearted fate they are yet to await.

Where the only memories lost are the memory loss of what these symptoms and statistics sound like.
Where the only thing misplaced is the difficulties faced, because no one has to endure this illness anymore.
I am walking for a world without dementia.

Any and all donations welcome.

Thank you.

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/mw266787
Hayleigh May 2014
To aspire and inspire, to analyse, criticise, to encourage, share, support and advise.
Hayleigh Jun 2014
You scream urgency
Like an accident and emergency
waiting room,
like a person relapsing into addiction,
Because they pushed themselves
too soon.
And there are claw marks in the soil,
Where you've tried to get to grips,
with solid ground,
There's a danger in your voice,
Like a lost child waiting to be found,
And you string sentences at a time
but no sound emits.
Danger, like,
Racing cars and frightened cries,
And there are holes in your back,
Formed by the lies,
You've been subjected too
And i wonder if i could use them
To breath life back into you.
I wonder if i get close enough,
If i could see,
The dreams and memories,
Before they turned stale
And congealed in your veins,
And left you entangled in the remains.
The valleys of your eyes,
Run wide and down deep,
And when you weep,
Your tears fall heavier,
Than a ten tonne van,
You're a shadow of the man,
You used to be,
And even your shadow,
Has deserted you,
Sought someone anew.
And your foundations
Are built on heartache and pain,
And those little tear ducts in your eyes,
Constantly rain,
But you you're in a draught,
All the love you've showered others in
Means you've ran out,
for yourself,
And your health is a picture
Of cigarettes and late night drinks,
Old whiskey, poured down sinks,
And you're reaching the brink,
The breaking point,
But you quite like the sound,
Of broken plates,
And you quite like the taste,
Of self destruction.
And there's a ghost,
Where you used to be,
Haunting the curves
Of your smile,
That you paint on,
Why you defile
Your skin,
This terror your living in,
Could start a thousand wars,
And this battle your fighting,
Inside of your mind,
Leaves a carcus, a morsel,
Of yourself behind.
Your insides stick to the past,
Like double sided cello tape,
And there are windchimes in your spine,
Where your bones should be,
And your heart on your sleeve,
Is clouded,
By red marks where you've sliced open your skin,
In at attempt to be free,
Of those demons, the sin,
For a new beginning.
There's toxic in your lungs,
And a noose around your neck,
Where you've hung your expectations
Too high,
And you're hanging by a thread,
And tying knots the further down you slip,
As you sip,
Another shot of courage.
But there's only so long,
One can hold on for,
And believe me I've been down
To the depths of hell and danced with the devil
On many occasions,
And the sheer frustration,
Of the attempts to be patient,
Are wearing thin,
Like the warm skin, that stretches,
Over your protruding bones.
Just a first draft..
Hayleigh Jul 2014
You scream urgency like an accident and emergency waiting room, like a person relapsing into addiction, because they pushed themselves too soon.
And there are claw marks in the soil, where you've tried to get to grips, with your inner turmoil.
And there's a danger in your voice, like a lost child waiting to be found, and you string sentences at a time but no sound, emits. As you sit in fits, of hysterics.
Danger, like racing cars and frightened cries, and there are holes in your back, formed by the lies, you've been subjected too. And i wonder if i could use them to carefully breathe, life back into you.
The life that you seem to have let slip through your finger tips, like dry sand, and there are wants and demands, taped to the pupils of your eyes, and i wonder if i get close enough, if i could see, if i could prize, them open.
The dreams and memories, before they turned stale and congealed in your veins, before they curled up and died, and left you entangled, in the remains.
And the valleys of your eyes, run wide and down deep, and when you weep, your tears fall heavier, than a ten tonne van, falling from unreachable heights.
And there are marks on your body, where you've lost the fights, the sleepless nights, with yourself. And you're a shadow of the man, you used to be, and even your shadow, has sought someone anew.
And your foundations are built on heartache and pain, and those little tear ducts in your eyes, they constantly rain. torrential down pours.
And there is hopelessness, embedded deep within your pours and despite the ongoing rain, you,you're in a draught, all the love you've showered others in means you've ran out, for yourself.
And your health, is a picture of cigarettes and late night drinks, old whiskey, poured down sinks.
And you're reaching the brink, the breaking point. But you quite like the sound, of broken plates and you greet with haste, the familiar taste of self destruction.
And there's a ghost, where you used to be, haunting the curves of  your smile, watching you all the while, as you destroy and defile, the cold skin, that stretches over your protruding bones.
This terror your living in, lures the wolves home, could start a thousand wars, and this battle your fighting, these revolving doors, inside of your mind, leave a carcus, a morsel, a shell, of yourself behind.
And your insides stick to the past, like double sided cello tape, and there are windchimes in your spine, counting down the time you wait, for freedom to meet you with open arms, and your arms, paint a picture of self harm, in bright red pen, and the ringing of alarms is renewed again and again.
And your heart on your sleeve, is clouded, and weaved, between fragile pastel pink scars, and the hesitation in your voice, jars any conversation, and you scream in frustration as we express your complications.
And you, you wish desperately, that you could be free, of those demons, the sin, for a new beginning.
And there's toxic in your lungs, and a noose around your neck,where you've hung your expectations too high,
And you're hanging by a thread, and the further you slip, the more knots you tie, in an attempt to buy time,
And you drink down each crime against yourself, with another bottle of wine, as you search and unwind, the mazes within your mind.
And you can see in the way you carry your frame, that you've been to the depths of hell and danced with the devil in vain, on many occasions,
And your eyes they tell tales wanders, of liquid sedation, as you squeeze into a nation, too small, too handle, too inexperienced, too dismantle, the train wreck, you see, every time you look intensely, at your reflection,
And your recollections of your past, are like shards of sharp glass,scattered between the seams of your life, and you, you batter the strife, with drug filled bombs, painful tongues and licks, of the kicks, you deny to be true, as you continue to fall through, reality in a clarity, smeared with drunken violence, and ear piercing silence.
Redrafted with a new format and structure. Hope you all like it.
Hayleigh Dec 2014
Words could never capture you,
Encapsulate you, encompass you
Because they are not strong enough
To withhold such beauty
They are too small to occupy
The love you carry
They are too trivial, too mundane
Too exhausted
To distinguish, define and denote
To embrace
Everything that I love,
Everything that I believe in,
Everything that matters,
Everything that is you.
Hayleigh Oct 2014
I remember the first night we kissed
The feeling of fireworks
Erupting on my lips
Of electricity pulsing through your fingertips
Tracing down my hips
To the curves of my spine
The standstill of time
As your eyes looked deeply into mine
And you drew the words i love you with your hot breath
And stamped them
Beneath my rib cage.
Hayleigh Apr 2014
And if I could write
and recite
these happenings within my mind
one can only wander
what words one could find
to describe
what one has never understood
and if I could
there'd be no need to bleed
a pen of its ink
if only I had the ability
to decipher what I think.
x
Hayleigh May 2014
x
Fear not there haunted eyes,
a young girl, broken,
behind them lies.
x
Hayleigh Oct 2014
x
Missing you feels like,
a cold, empty hand,
clamped around the lonely shadows of
my heart, in the crevices of the sheets,
Cradling myself at four in the morning.
X
Hayleigh Jun 2015
X
Irrevocably, irrefutably, incomparably.



Infinitely.
X
Hayleigh Oct 2020
X
I would withstand a lifetime of sun free and starless skies
to watch
the s u n r i s e
in those eyes
Just one last time

Some days it as though you never left
Others
there is a swelling cavity surging beneath the bones of my chest

Tell me when do you plan on giving me back my heart?

I’m tired of new beginnings and I’m folding at the thought of fresh starts.

There are only so many times I can break and bend and rise again.

there are times I swear I feel those soft hands
Brush across my sombre skin
Do you remember those nights
We’d forget to remember
where I ended and you’d begin

My mind is on fire with the thought of you.
I can’t put you out, rip the taste out my mouth.

How can I be hers when I have only ever been yours?
xx
Hayleigh Nov 2014
**
It was as though her touch set my body ablaze
Forest fires spreading through my veins
Dragon flies alight
Dancing in the remains.
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