There's so much I wanna say to you, so many words that need to be spoken, but my mouth just can't produce those words. Whenever I try to talk to you, I become this newborn child that hasn't learnt how to speak yet. It's like fear is holding my mouth shut.
There's so much that has to be said, so I'm letting my pencil do the talking. My pencil isn't afraid to say the words. Its lips aren't held together by fear.
There's so many words that need to be spoken. If not by mouth, then by pencil.

you're allowed to be a little selfish,
she tells herself
you're allowed to feel,
she repeats
as she pushes the blade,
manages to gulp down a sob
as she stares
stares stares stares
at the opened skin
and the dripping blood
you don't deserve this,
is what she doesn't say
or admit
even to herself

Help me

I'm dying

I'm drowning

I'm freezing

I'm falling

I'm burning

I'm suffocating

I'm something

So please, please
*Somebody help me

Why smile
When pain is all you feel
Why cry
when there is no one to care
Why live
When there is no hope