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Kim Essary May 2018
This family I have all began with a girl named Bella, she was more than adorable. Loyal and loving she was one of a kind. She never ran off until one day she never came home, my heart broke as I searched near and far, not only taken from me but 5 babies left behind.  I was trying to find these babies a loving home but attached from day one I kept them for my own. Oh my the destruction they caused, 3 girls and 2 boys, Heaven, Sadie, Sky, Junior and Buster along with my shitzu,  Zoey. Never a dull moment as each one special in there own way. Little did I know the place where we lived the ground they played upon made every one of them poisoned by parvo and deathly sick. My Fience and I worked round the clock administering medication and fluids to 6 very sick puppies. Our battle seemed to never end as death filled our home and we lost one. Exhausted and drained as i laid beside our remaining babies, death sunken eyes peered up at me from each and every one as if asking me "momma please save us for what have we done"  I burst into tears as I gathered them all near, laying my hands upon there tired bodies I closed my eyes and began to Pray, God please heal my babies make them better through my hands, I know you can work miracles so I'm begging of you to spare the life of my babies I pray unto you . As silence filled my home covered with doom, my body grew numb , I knew God was here. I began praying harder never lifting my hands as the heat from my hands became even hotter I couldn't remove them from their bodies. Chills ran through me like I've never felt before, releasing my hands as I looked in their eyes , the death that once consumed them appeared to go away. Within a matter of hours one by one they began to get well. I dropped to my knees and gave God his Grace for saving my babies that day. Every word I've said in this poem is 100% true, A wonderful testimony of how love , faith and God healed my furbabies that day.

©kimmied1105
This is a true story . My furrbabies are my life my family my loving and loyal companions
Kim Essary May 2018
Here I stand but against the odds in a world full of the unknown.  Waking by day and sleeping at night doesn't apply anymore. For things of my past left to the memories of a time long ago and shall remain for ever more. Though I exist now in the present of shattered dreams one by one became now none. What can be said or looked forward to of a future that lays ahead, a broken heart, a world full of me, or the promise to feel no more pain when im dead. Once a light shown bright and clear at the end of my tunnel now it's hard to find my way. Should I turn around and try and salvage the reminance of my life or face the hard truth that the promise he made is shattered as well and he will never make me his wife. Just when I believed I knew my purpose , I stand corrected but once again . Now with the odds still stacked against me it's time to raise my white flag and retreat. I faught a good battle but lost the war.
©kimmied1105
Sometimes it's best to surrender and turn and walk away.
Kim Essary May 2018
January 16, 1990, The day my life began to know true love. The anticipation rose with every contraction that came. I couldn't wait to put a face with her name. When she arrived, she stole the heart of every person that seen her. Her hair at birth fit perfectly in a little pink bow and she had the face of an angel. Not one flaw did my baby girl have, as she entered this world almost perfect.  Her eyes, the most captivating blue but with a unique black line defining them. Never at my young age, just turning 20, had my heart felt more joy and love as it did holding my precious daughter,  Mallory Ann, asking myself how something so perfect in every way could be mine. As she grew, she was as bright as she was beautiful. Advanced in every aspect of her fast developing life. Time wouldn't slow down and before I knew it, there she stood in her prom dresses, next her cap and gown. My baby girl was all grown up now and just as beautiful as the day she was born. Growing up very close, sharing everything together, I never dreamed there would come the day, I never seen it coming , my baby girl walked away. I went from being her only support that was by her side every day to a woman she grew to despise some where along the way. She was mom to her son at a very young age, I helped her the best I could or all she would let me, until she then to took my grandson away. I have missed out on his precious life and God knows I've made mistakes in my life but nobody is perfect needless to say. But when I look at her and the things she likes and the way she looks, it's like a mirror of a young  version of me, I miss her and my little Roo every minute of every day, I think of how wonderful it would be to have them in my life again, but the one that wronged her and was never there gets her forgiveness and love while I remain her worst memory as she sees no good in me and doesn't remember all the sacrifices and love and the teaching of morals and respect she was taught, for it hurts my heart as the credit goes to other people in her life   I can stand today and know the truth and feel the hurt and pain and the loss because the day will come when I'm no longer here and I won't feel the loneliness any longer. I only know I love and miss her and my grandson more and more every day . When the good Lord calls me home that's when the pain will go away
I miss my daughter and how we use to be.
Kim Essary May 2018
Why did you have to leave so soon, you were supposed to see all the dreams you told me I had would some day come true. Six years gone by and I still feel you here . I just want to hug you close and tell you how much you mean to me , I love you big but Lord my friend all these men you left behind , all for me to contend with   I hear your laughter , pretty funny you think , I could use some words  of wisdom my friend , only you would know what to say , be it biblical, comical, serious, or pointless I just need to hear your advise right now God I miss you every day. From Paul to Scott no never met Brent , all the way to your baby boy Nick , of coarse I saved him for last cause Jimmy Rogers if I know you , you Are propped against that cloud with a huge smile on your face sitting so proud of those boys you made . Thanks for coming to see me today , even though it's not how I planned it I remember what you use to say , be patient for it's all in God's Hands and He's the one with the plans. I hope your presence never leaves , I love you and miss you and all your boys and your best friend does too , we will all meet again one day Fly High my friend save us all a place in that beautiful sky right there beside you.
Dedicated to Jimmy Rogers A man among men that forever holds a place in my heart
Kim Essary May 2018
Have you ever heard the sound of a rumbling train, when there were no train tracks anywhere near?
The wind of a tornado screeching and screaming fury and reeking havick upon a city with no warning, embarked is this memory this time of year.
On April 27, 2011, life's changed forever in the city I lived, Tuscaloosa, Alabama, Home of the Crimson Tide, would never be the same.
A scene from a horror movie can't even compare as we became the victom of a war zone that day
Trees flew through the air picking up houses and vehicles, anything in it's path, as the monster of this spinning wind left nothing but the rubble and the people homeless and dead . Those that survived this wicked storm would never be the same . The destruction of this tornado came out of the sky and ripped our life away.
When it was over it had only just begun as it left a mangled city
As people walked through the neighbor hoods searching for loved ones that the storm had picked up and spit out somewhere along the way, kids screaming for their parents , animals laying dead the sound of sirens screeching through our heads. People trapped beneath their homes where they ran to be safe but little did they know their was no such place on this day when the tornado that took so many lifes and swept our homes away there was no safe place to stay. I hope to one day forget this horror trapped in my head, my best friend and I found his family in their  twisted home 75 feet from where it once set as there were no survivors of the 3 . So this time of year leaves me saddened   if you can imagine a war zone you then will see the memories in my head.
The sadness and hurt and memories will never go away . I will never forget the death and destruction the tornado left that day
Kim Essary May 2018
We glowed as bright as the sun on a hot summer day
The love we once had would take your breath away
When we entered a room, everyone would stare
They could see the love we once had was so beautiful and rare
Just being in your presence left me breathless and weak in the knees
To feel your touch, even just a graze, sent chills all over me
Our love spoke for itself, never speaking a harsh word
Nothing but kindness, love and respect was ever heard
I could look into your eyes and see the love you had for me
It saddens me to look into your eyes now, for the love we once had I can no longer see
Where did we break, we weren't supposed to end up this way
We promised each other forever, we were to be married on the second of may
I can't Invision my life without you
No matter where this road leads us I hope you always remember that I will forever and always unconditionally love you.
It hurts to know the one person you could see yourself with forever and it's like overnight **** they are gone
Kim Essary May 2018
Our love once burned like a glowing ember . Beauty on the arm of her **** beast, your eyes melted my existence.
Not a disrespectful word uttered between us, we made love for hours daily, always leaving us both with the anticipation of lust wanting more ,it was never enough.
How can such a love just fade away.  When you touch me now there's a difference in your feel, I understand my body has changed from my sickness but can't you see I'm still me inside , or at least I was before you shamed me now I remain ashamed of myself .
I still find you so attractive and want you, need you every day , you have left me , I'm no longer in your heart and it hurts my heart to know this no matter what you say.
Love isn't a word to be thrown around, we are supposed to grow old together in sickness and in health . That's all gone now , who and what am I supposed to be now that I've given all of me to you.
Love is patient, love is kind live will totally tear your world apart !
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