If you take me
if you're so destined to tear into my flesh
to consume what innocence I have left--
take me with an iron fist
take everything I have
everything you want and more
with blunt force
leave me shredded,
shattered
leave me bruised
with permanent scars
beat me until I'm ******
until I'm black and blue
until my bones are crippled
and my skin is sore to the touch
And everyone can see  your marks
all over my body
until you have ripped my insides out like a trophy
until you have destroyed every bit of beauty my body once held--
do this all,
I beg you
so I can show the world what kind of monster you are
take me--  take all of me,
I'm asking for it
I'm asking you, to prove yourself, guilty.

My children all the world to me  they make my life worthwhile. No matter what they ask me, I'll go that extra mile
I hear them laugh and see them play.
I watch them grow more everyday.
I thank God for the gifts that he's giving me I give him all my grace
For I don't know what I would do if I couldn't see their beautiful face.
I hope and pray that I succeed to raise  My Baby right.
Oh Lord in heaven I pray to thee please shine on me your Golden Light.
Father give me the strength I might need to go on and forgive.
The pain I felt all the tears that I shed so much for forgiveness I have left to give.
I pray unto you my lord to place this all behind me now.
I've got on with my life to you I give my personal vow.
I vow to love and cherish my babies everyday.
I'll pick them up if they may fall and wipe their precious tears away..

Are you awake my love it's so hard for me to sleep.
I'm so tired yet my eyes do nothing but weep.
I don't feel you holding me or your warm breath on my skin.
I rolled over and reach for you as I felt a piercing coldness deep within.
Laying here beside you your presence  nowhere near.
I knew at that moment I was about to come face-to-face with My Own Worst Fear.
Please wake me from this nightmare it's not supposed to be this way
God put us back in each other's arms for us to stay.
My love for you hasn't nor will it ever die.
I would lay down my life for you and never even ask why.
I shouldn't feel alone as you're lying right next to me.
Please bring back that man that I fell in love with the way things need to be

©kimmied1105

There's nothing more to overcome as this  battle from within,  pounds, burns, sharp as a knife then pounds, burns and tingles til numb. My nerves fighting my muscles,  as my bones are deteriating away ,
  How can it be the anatomy of my being is fighting to survive
The rate of my existence said to be extinguished seven years ago.
  Whom is it they think they are to set my death. Indeed I should have boundaries  The mind is a powerful thing
  I wake from my short slumber to roll from my bed, the pain unbearable but it's all in my head, or so I make myself believe
   I think and I ponder and speak to my mind so my body can hear.
  Questions without answers so why even inquire. Take this take that you need one no maybe five. Please put your pad away for I will take only my mind, no doubt in my mind it is the meaning and will as to why I'm still alive. So keep all your poison, for I will fight this battle from within and show them I will survive.
To wake is a blessing as is every step that I take
  I know my pain will never go away so what more can be done, sadly nothing so I deal with it and go on with the day

©kimmied1105

The young mother weeps as she softly embraced her new baby boy.
  As he grows she taught him to crawl and next to walk, she taught him to talk and to be a big boy.
  She taught him respect and manners and right from wrong.
  Her battle began as he grew a little older she had no choice but to raise him alone.
  Feeling as if she wasn't enough she found herself instead of discipline she protects him at no cost and carried his blame.
  Which led him to believe he had no consequences to face for any of his actions.
  She now blames herself for the choices that he made she begged him not to drink and drive.
  Her warning fell short of reaching him only this time saving him was no option.
  He lost his best friend after a party on their journey home.
  The boys parted ways that night without ever saying goodbye for one went to heaven her  son was sentenced to prison and taken away. As his consequences are much deeper than his sentence, life without ever losing the memory of that horrible night is a sentence no judge can beat.
  For now she weeps for the day that she will feel again her son's soft embrace.
©kimmied1105

Looking back trying to rekindle my childhood, my memories seem to be scattered;
  Maybe God has erased most them, and left only the ones that mattered.
  Trying to sort through the ones that still remain;
  I find myself saddened and my heart filled with so much pain.
  As a little girl growing up I felt so alone;
  The lifestyle that surrounded me I wish I would have never known.
  I long for the one thing that every child needs and should never have to do with out.;
  The love and the nurturing from my mother I know nothing about.
  The absence of her emotions haunt me day by day;
  Although I'm grown with two children of my own I still long to feel her acceptance and her love this I asked for the Lord to touch her every time I pray.
  She will never know nor even care the way I hurt and  feel inside;
  She will never see The Emptiness for the life that I was deprived.
  Is it that I was so obsessed with her approval and the need for her attention;
  That I myself have neglected the needs of my own children I dare not admit or venture to mention.
  I pray that the Lord grant me the ability to give them the attention and affection that I was never shown.
  I chose some paths I knew better than to choose;
  I made my own mistakes never taking into consideration what it was that I was about to lose;
  Now that I've lost them or regretfully chose to walk away;
  My life has become a living hell needless to say.
  Never did I want my children to grow up in the same environment that I had to;
  I want so much more for them and I will do everything I need to do.
  I have faith that my life with help  from the Lord will turn around and I will have my babies back where they belong.
  Living without them has taught me so much, I  hope one day they can give me forgive me and give me the chance to do what's right for all I have done wrong.