the shards of my shattered blood line
piercing into my lungs
tearing it open

letting me bleed my sadness out.

i bleed slowly;
                       i bleed,
                                    i bleed.

your vibrant persona is too much for me to handle,
it feels choking at times.

but nonetheless i am attracted
like a moth to a flame.
i know it is dangerous,
i know it will only end in my execution,
but i go in anyway
orchestrating my own death.

i plummet into your aura,
i take it in.

and a small part of me believes
that you even had the smallest inch of care for me.

but you don't.
it's someone else it always is.

it's always the 'it's not you it's me' crap;
or the 'i don't feel the same' torture.

nonetheless it breaks me,
and i break in silence.

the saddest part is i thought i had a chance with you.

joker.

what a joke.

it can't happen,
it will never happen.
and that is all there is for me.

there is no yes or inbetween.
it is always no,
a resounding no.

but it's not your fault.
i know i am an ogre,
a monster with two minuscule eyes,
with my pores oozing acid,
and my mouth spewing fire.

my fiery temper restricts all suitors,
i know i cannot be tamed.

maybe that is why.

i am boundless and limitless and that may be intimidating.
but
but i am human,

and every human has that one boundary and
that one
limitation.

that was meant to be you,
meant to be you for me.

but you have someone else,
someone prettier and better.

so be happy, because that's all i want;

but for now,

i bleed slowly;
i bleed,
i bleed.

See,
I wouldn't say that I don't miss you,
But I don't think I need you,
Not too much,
Not anymore.

I mean,*
I'm not better;
If anything,
Things are worse,
But that craving that you once gave me,
That craving for you,
Is possibly non-existent now.

I warned you not to make any promises,
I warned you about the others,
I warned you that I'd be stress,
I warned you,
But you're difficult,
I kinda wish you weren't.

Don't worry,
I've met new people,
Amazing people,
Not like you,
But that might be a good thing,
Or a bad thing.

These people are here,
For now at least,
But I won't fall,
Or so I say,
I don't fall easy,
But I fall hard,
Maybe I won't fall this time,
For whatever charm that is placed,
On me,
But,
I can't make any promises.

Now the main question is,
And I hope you're curious to find out too,
Do I still have feeling for you?
Déjà vu,
Well,
Maybe I do,
But nothing worth feeling,
But how can I be sure,
When you've been gone for so long.

I'll go mad,
Again,
If I let myself think about you,
Again,
You were right when you said I shouldn't,
But we both know I'm stubborn,
And determined,
But I've lost hope,
Kinda like our friendship.

I need to move on,
I need some help to move on,
But you've made me less trusting,
**If that's even possible.