I'll never let you read this, I hope you know. It wasn't supposed to happen like this.  I wasn't supposed to fall. I was going to keep us in the friend zone, but on this I failed. I did want one night with you, heck maybe even two. I got those nights and then some. No, it wasn't supposed to happen.  Feelings were not meant to intrude. The line was drawn from the begining, but over it I stepped.  Before I stepped I  believe that you started to erase it. The line is no longer there. In its place confusion, butterflies. So what do I do now? How do I proceed? I tried hard to stay in my friend spot not wear my heart upon my sleeve. It now bleeds turning my hands red. It beats in rythm with yours now. It calls to my soul saying "I'm ready".

your hand brushes my shoulder
a tingle runs down my spine
as i slowly turn toward you
and appreciate the fact that you are mine.

we make eye contact
my heart starts to flutter
as you slowly lean into me
and I begin to melt like butter.

our lips colide
and the world disappears
as we become one
I imagine being with you for the rest of my years.

gorgeous doesn't
do you
justice
when I just wished for the chorus
singing our lousy song, I
stayed up late with it
I
counted the sheep
they fell asleep
I'm
clutching the sheets
stop thinking there's a
Dreamgirl
quit pouring that red-cheek idea
down your throat
a few more
fast
the song should end soon
sore knee love
should end soon
professional pretender
bending blinks
more drinks, bartender
loving you gets
expensive
I'm paying with my
well-being
I'm being lied to by sunlight
cause I can't trust anything
after it leaves

They say your first heart break will be the worst,

but they didn't warn me about how bad it gets after the third heartbreak from that same love.

Theres no secret to how i feel
The love that i hold in my heart for you is beyond real
But i get the sense that to you its all a game
You aim to be relevant with no relevance to the words you say
Not realizing that all you do & say is just a game
False hope is a ***** and frankly i dont wanna know her
Tell me whats real or say nothing at all and leave it to fate
I owe you the space to grow and change for the better
So later on in life if God brings us together
Everything will run smooth
Nomore searching for understanding or opportunities to be heard
Cause when its all said and done actions speak louder than words
Theres no secret to how I feel
The love that I have for you is unreal
But when the time is right and you've realized your growth
Maybe we can give this love another go.

I told you that I didn't want to. That I can't control myself.
I made sure you knew so that when I tried to, you'd stop me.
You were supposed to stop me. You were supposed to say no.
I wasn't myself, I don't even know if I'd consider myself responsive.
The only reason I realized what was happening was because
I heard a song, a voice, a familiar tune. Reminding me of who I am.
And who I am should not be someone who sleeps with everyone.
This seems to happen to me a lot, I've noticed.
I don't blame you, I blame myself for trusting you.
Trusting that you'd remember that I didn't want to be with you.
Trusting that you wouldn't take advantage of me.
Trusting that you cared about me enough to just say no.