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Quivering, afraid of the pain,
A stalking predator ready to tear me apart,
I cannot control my emotional beasts,
They continue to claw their way through my heart
Sometimes i feel like my crazy feelings are tangible living creatures. I know that sounds nutty but in a metaphorical sense. I am hunted by fear and frustration.
 Apr 2018 Jo Barber
Midnight
Nothing
 Apr 2018 Jo Barber
Midnight
Your naked body
Pressed on mine
We kissed

I thought that
I should feel
Something

Thrill, euphoria
Lust, love
Or bliss

But no
I felt
Nothing
And I'm very sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me.  You are everything I have ever wanted, but for some reason touching you leaves me blank.  I feel nothing.  And I am sorry.
 Apr 2018 Jo Barber
Benji James
Can't keep up with these kids
Outrun, outclassed
Left flat on my ***
Trying to reach a new level
Making bargains with a devil
Got left in the dirt
Feelings hurt
That's why I sold my soul
Soulless, No emotions
Now try to read my cards
Opinions inflicted wounds
Labels covered me
Until I washed them clean
Now I won't let anybody place me in a box
I'm cunning, You can call me Mr Fox
Cuz I'm unique, Individuality, Totally me
May never be on top
But I am everything else that you're not.

©2018 Written By Benji James
 Apr 2018 Jo Barber
nicoarty
my life
 Apr 2018 Jo Barber
nicoarty
Death

Death is something I want
          But can’t bring myself to take
Love
          Is something I lost
             But can’t seem to let go of
And time

         Time is where I drift, lost
                Not knowing any way or
                               place I see

     Forever stuck in between
 Apr 2018 Jo Barber
060
Smiling
 Apr 2018 Jo Barber
060
Pearly white against a black backdrop.
Glossy cars on broken tar.
You're laughing away, children at play.
You wish your rent costed as little as your drink.

But you're still
smiling.

As the big man files out a grand,
You drop a bills underhand.
Your hype phone rings
Your mother is calling.
Saying that if you're done pretending
Look around at what you should be mending.
I was drowning.
I was suffocating.
I was trapped.
After he died, I lost all hope.
I lost all strength.
I lost every care I had ever developed.
I had gained weakness.
I had gained prostration.
I had inhaled and swallowed
way too many substances to destroy my
emotional and mental pain.
For some time,
I avoided the torment.
You would have never guessed I was
suffering inside.
Then one day,
I got too high on what was supposed to
make my feelings disappear,
and I started feeling
everything at once.
I was overwhelmed,
I was controlled,
I was drowning,
I was suffocating,
I was trapped.
5 hours of endless tears,
and a shaking body.
I was gripping my sheets
in the most non-pleasurable way possible.
I was staring at his picture on my phone
the entire time as I was reaching out for him, but
could no longer feel his touch.
The toll his absence had on me
was immense.
I could no longer control
any type of feeling I possibly
could have had,
and that was my fault for trying to numb all the pain.
It was the reason he got taken away from me,
fault.
Now instead of trying to get rid of the pain
for however much amount of time
in an unhealthy way,
I try to avoid it naturally.
Even a natural, healthy way will never help stop feeling.
I have to deal with the unbearable amount of pain,
and that's just the way it is.
March 16, 2018 / 11:01pm
When someone is
brighter
than the
sun
and
stars,
you don't even
look at the
sky as much
anymore.
Unless,
there's a
sunset,
then you
want to
share the
aesthetically pleasing beauty
with them.
When
you guys enjoy
your
favorite foods
together,
you'll never
want to
eat it
alone
ever again.
When
you're in a
Queen sized bed
holding each other's
bare skinned
bodies
under the
warmest blankets
shared with
body heat and undying love,
when they're
absent,
you'd rather
sleep
on the
hardwood floor
shivering.
When the
sound
of their
laugh
is the
greatest vibration
that travels
through the air,
you'll never
want to
make contact
with another
individual
as long as your
life continues.
When you're
attracted and attached,
you will never
lay eyes
on
anyone
like you do
when you're
appreciating
their
existence.
When
you're so scared
to lose
someone,
you'll show their
mom
a substantial amount
of love,
for being the cause
of you being
so lucky
for having
them in
your life.
When you've
opened up
your past
to that
special human,
and they have
opened their ears
to all your
ashamed
secrets,
mistakes,
and struggles,
you'll never even
think about
having another
friend.
When
they've ripped
your clothes
off your body
and have
witnessed
every
raw feature
of your skin,
you'll never show
your insecurities to
another
set of eyes.
When you split
an
extensive amount
of
compassion,
and practically
tear out
your hearts
full of all the
love
you have to offer,
and
gently
but,
without hesitation,
put it in each other's
bare hands,
it will
forever
be their
treasure to hold.
"I love you"
in the sound
of their
addicting voice
will forever be
what you
hope to hear
every time
they
open their mouth.
No matter what
location
you stand in
or however
long or short
you're apart,
their arms
are where
you'll want to be.
Their
private parts,
which you're the only
VIP member to,
is what you will crave
in your aching bones.
Their deep affection
will be
your drug
and not
endless amounts
of
rehab
will ever help you
stop using.
Every flaw
they admit to having
will be
invisible
to your vision.
Every breath
they take
will be
your reason
to fight through
every obstacle
you stumble upon.
They'll be your
oxygen
and
every beat of your heart.
They'll be your
everything
the other and better
half of you.

A.R
 Mar 2018 Jo Barber
XPY
I could live here
In this old, old town
Running around
Late at night
Kissing up against
Worn brown bricks.
Modern cities are full of culture and people and noise, but the historic districts- the original apartments and bricks and stones- they have souls and hold thousands of memories. Those buildings have witnessed history in the making.
[Long description, short poem. I know]
© KMH 2018
 Mar 2018 Jo Barber
Mary-Eliz
we wander through the day
with no words upon our lips
to show who we are
or where we've been

we write no history
leave the pages blank
places, pieces, days
they end as they begin

we have loved
and we have lied
but we don't remember why

we have laughed
and we have cried
but we don't remember how

we have lived
and we have died
yet we know they are the same

memories
like ancient oaks
have rotted
in the shadows
of our minds

we grasp dreams
that go
nowhere
yearn for childhood
in the petals
that surround
our souls

aching for days
gone by
for poplars full
of greenness
we search for icons
of our past
long gone
and best forgotten

trembling in our soft
and silky destiny
surrounded by pillows
that ruffle 'round
our heads
we long to turn back
the massive wheel

pulling, twisting
we tire
and fall
beneath
its weight

move on

to some other
time and place
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