as the poems go into the thousands you
realize that you've created very
little.
it comes down to the rain, the sunlight,
the traffic, the nights and the days of the
years, the faces.
leaving this will be easier than living
it, typing one more line now as
a man plays a piano through the radio,
the best writers have said very
little
and the worst,
far too much.
from ONTHEBUS - 1992

some days they are sad. sad about the weather, sad about the thing that happened last night, sad about losing their favorite book, sad about their coffee being cold, sad about the fact that they can't find matching socks. lots of things make them sad, lots of nothings make them sad too. you see, when you have a predisposition for being sad, every little thing counts.  so when you ask her why she is sad and she cannot answer, do not press further. do not go looking for a reason that just isn't there. when you ask what you can do and she says nothing, do not be hurt. do not feel useless. when she wakes in the middle of the night and she is silent, but you can feel the bed shaking as she cries, do not assume you know what she is feeling. you don't. hold her if she wants it, don't touch her if she doesn't. if you ask her if she wants you to stay and she says yes, do. but if she tells you to walk away, do not listen. stay with her, because if you don't, she might not be there in the morning .

We rarely talk
We've had memories
Some bittersweet

You're the song on repeat
And I want it to stop
Get it off my mind

No longer do I want this lullaby

a sad soul whispers
i wish i never met you
to the demon in the empty room
and it replies
with a voice that flows thick and sweet
almost suffocating
but darling you created me
and it laughs as her tears hit the sheets
and it sounds just like him
you do this to yourself
she can smell his cologne on its breath as it leans closer
he doesn't care and neither do i, no one does
it blinks and it's eyes turn as blue as his
she tries to look away but it grabs her cheeks so she gets one last good look at what she tries to forget
it won't let her forget
he won't let her forget
then it dissipates into the lonely space
but the weight never leaves the air

s.s

I always wanted to live
A life worth living
But I feel myself
Following in your
Footsteps
I denied the possibility
Of being diagnosed
With depression
I always allowed
Breathing room from
Anxiety attacks
But my insecurities
Swallowed me
Leaving just a shadow
Of who I used to be

Promise me
When my hands begin to tremble
You’ll place your hand in mine
When my eyes become hollow
You’ll gaze into them
When I’m at a loss for words
You’ll kiss me so the silence
Can speak for the both of us.