I'm an unfinished letter
a poem you would never read out loud
the cup of coffee you never finish
and the sweater you keep in your closet
unworn, brand new
the book you're forced to read
and the color that ruins the painting

everything that I say is far from who I am
don't believe my words
I know no trust
no such thing as simple or easy

there is no home in my body
run away before you're next I
will welcome you with arms open
you will be forced to stay
the emptiness will suffocate you
like it did me

I was never a half
you never completed me
though I've have always felt a little empty in the summer
then you held my hand in the winter
I ran of space
tried to catch my breath
you started talking about my eyes and how they shine
as dark as the night sky
they shine
like the lights in Paris
they shine
I stopped listening
you smiled
I was lost

I think
as artists
we owe a lot to pain.

Put on
a robe of thorns
and write

about the nice weather outside
and that delicious burger
you had today.

Write about happiness
when you're in pain-
beauty.

within me, the voice mumbles
along the lyrics
when standing around
and in between my own ghosts and their friends
and my friends
they don't recognize me
do they even see me?


my lips no longer carry the taste of yours
everyone I have ever loved
I no longer feel in my bones

as I walk up the stairs
groceries in my hand
I mumble along the lyrics
the loneliness in my head
I remember the milk I forgot
so I drink my coffee black
and urge to fall asleep

it's 3 am and I wish I hadn't forgotten the milk

it's 4.30 I'm the only one left at the party
but the room is full

its 5.25 when i realize im alone in my bed
in my head