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Feb 2020 · 101
Conversations
Joshua Feb 2020
We talk about the things we shouldn't talk about.
And we didn't talk about the things we should've talked about.
Word jumbling for now
Feb 2020 · 137
Comfort Zone
Joshua Feb 2020
Why do we feel secure,
when we're not
facing our insecurities?
Jan 2020 · 124
Colder Nights
Joshua Jan 2020
My nights are getting colder,
Since the time I saw you kissed each other..
Nov 2019 · 93
I am
Joshua Nov 2019
Aren't we crazy for loving
those who didn't love us back?
While there is someone
who loves us with all their heart.
I admit.
I am crazy.
Crazy falling in love with someone I can't have.
Nov 2019 · 270
Unfair
Joshua Nov 2019
I'm tired waiting for weeks
Just for you to reply to me.
I know you're not that busy.
I think you just, don't want me.

I mean nothing to you,
As I treat you my everything.
Let's be fair.
I am nothing to you,
And you mean nothing to me.
Nov 2019 · 156
He Never Will
Joshua Nov 2019
Does he cheer you up when you're down?
Does he join you to your favorite places in town?
Does he wipe away your tears?
Does he love you the way I did?

I know he don't.
'Cause he's just the guy you cheated with,
When all I did was care for you.
He will never be the man I am
when I am still inlove with you.
Nov 2019 · 76
Drunken Stupidity
Joshua Nov 2019
One shot for one memory forgotten.
Two shots for two heartbroken people.
Three shots for three words I used to believe in.
And one last shot to get drunk.

Because I know, tomorrow,
I'm still gonna say I love you.
Nov 2019 · 248
White Lies
Joshua Nov 2019
You told me,
"I don't deserve someone like you."
"You're just too good for me."

I don't believe you darling,
I know you wanna say that you don't like me at all.
You just don't wanna hurt my feelings..
It's funny how sweet words can hide a thousand lies.
Nov 2019 · 96
Shower
Joshua Nov 2019
Place where my thoughts and decisions are made.
Place where I can cry freely,
without worrying that someone will see me.
Nov 2019 · 245
Pain is their Fuel
Joshua Nov 2019
Sometimes,
Poets also hurt their feelings,
By the poems that they wrote..
Nov 2019 · 757
Trapped
Joshua Nov 2019
I need to get you out my mind,
before I fall in love with you.
Because I know, you won't love me back.
Nov 2019 · 485
"Salamat, mga anak"
Joshua Nov 2019
"Akin na pera mo."
"Dali, ilabas mo pati cellphone mo, lahat!"
"Babarilin kita!"

Hindi ako nakapagsalita.
Hindi nakagalaw. Natulala.
Ang bilis ng pangyayari.
Nakakatakot. Na wala man lang akong nagawa.

Gabi ng lumabas ako sa aming tahanan,
Kinailangan kong bumili ng ulam para sa hapunan,
Naglalakad ako ng isang kilometro,
Makabili lang ng pagkaing ihahain sa mga anak ko.

Madilim na. At walang ilaw ang kalye.
Mas pinili ko na rin maglakad para tipid pamasahe.
Medyo malapit lang din kasi nakasanayan ko na.
Ang maglakad ng malayo na walang saplot ang paa.

Malamang hinihintay na nila ako.
Kaya binilisan ko ang lakad ko.
Excited na rin akong makain nila ang paborito nilang ulam.
Tortang talong na masustansya para sa aming hapunan.

Ngunit nang malapit na ako sa pamilihan,
Dalawang lalaking nakamotor, ako'y nilapitan.
"Akin na pera mo."
"Dali, ilabas mo pati cellphone mo, lahat!"
"Babarilin kita!"

Napaluhod ako sa kalsada.
Nanghinayang sa karampot na baryang aking kinita.
Buong araw ako nagtrabaho,
Holdaper lang pala ang kukuha ng pinaghirapan ko.

"Mga anak, pasensya na, wala akong nabili eh"
"Ayos lang yan Pa, may asin at toyo pa naman eh"
"Bukas babawi ako mga anak ko."
"Hindi po papa, kami po ang babawi sa inyo."

Nawalan ako ng pera sa araw na ito,
Pero salamat at ganito ang pananaw nila sa mundo,
Na ang lahat ng ginagawa para sayo,
Ay sakripisyong dapat pinagpapasalamat mo.
Nov 2019 · 67
I'm Sorry
Joshua Nov 2019
I no longer smile when you tell me I made something good.
I no longer blush when you throw cheesy lines.
I no longer have the appetite when you cook our food.
I no longer feel your kiss and I think it's fine.

I no longer miss you when you're not home.
I no longer care when you're raging.
I no longer crave for your love.
I don't love you anymore..
Nov 2019 · 179
Truth Hurts
Joshua Nov 2019
"Tell me the truth baby."
"Do you love him?"

"Yes."

They're right.
Truth hurts as hell.
Nov 2019 · 56
Words of Pain
Joshua Nov 2019
Isn't it an amazing thing?
How poets turn pain to poems.

And how poems connect
people with the same pain.

That's why I write,
So I can feel I'm not alone.
Nov 2019 · 76
Let Me
Joshua Nov 2019
Let me hold your hand.
Let me wipe your tears.
Let me make you smile again.
Let me take away all your fears.
Let me pull you out of the rain.
Please let me,

Let me be THE ONE..
Nov 2019 · 48
Who Are You
Joshua Nov 2019
"Hi, it's been a while Josh."
"You look very different since we broke up."
She said as she approached me.

"Uhm, Hi, Do I?"
"Maybe I just learned how to take care of myself, when the one who said it left me behind."
I replied, smiled then walked away.
Nov 2019 · 365
I Love You
Joshua Nov 2019
I think,
I love you..

But it's better not to tell you,
Not because I'm afraid of rejection,

I just think I can't make you happy,
The way he did..
Nov 2019 · 123
Poetry Keeps Me Alive
Joshua Nov 2019
Someone asked me,
"Why do you make poems,
Isn't that a boring thing?"

"Thank God I write poems,
because if I don't,
I  should have died way back then."
I replied.
Nov 2019 · 68
I hate you
Joshua Nov 2019
So I remember the night we had serious talk,
Almost 3am, and we're at the balcony of 16th flr,
You said you love me so much,
I believed you.

I remember my birthdays,
4 years, you are there handing me thoughtful gifts,
You made me feel loved.
I loved you.

I remember the days I'm down,
And you will hang out with me,
You made me smile as you say,
"Everything will be okay."
I trusted you.

But where are you now?
I believed, trusted and loved you.
I hate you.
I hate how I loved you so much.
Oct 2019 · 54
We Aren't For Each Other
Joshua Oct 2019
"I'm giving up on us."

Exactly the same words
I said about a year ago.
Hoping we can still work it out.

Here I am saying this for the last time,
"I'm giving up on us."
With no hopes if we could still get back together.
But with hopes that someday,
I will not be saying those words again.
Oct 2019 · 61
Home
Joshua Oct 2019
I think someone's on the door.
When I opened it, there's a dog.
He seems lost.

Then I realized,
We are just like this dog,
We wander,
We knock on someone elses lives,
Until we find someone
We'll consider our home.
Oct 2019 · 60
Time
Joshua Oct 2019
Tik tok. Tik tok.
The only sound I'm hearing now.

Tik tok.
Time goes by so fast.
One day, you're happy.
One day, you're sad.
And one day you're here,
Thinking of all the things
you should have done,
when time was in your hands.
Oct 2019 · 959
Take Care
Joshua Oct 2019
"I'm happy for you."
A compliment hiding my pain.

"I'm happy for you."
I said to you,
as tears run down my face
hearing myself said,

"I'm happy for you."
Oct 2019 · 165
Efforts
Joshua Oct 2019
I tried to ask for more,
But what I received,
is lesser.
Aug 2019 · 95
I Wish You Never Met Me
Joshua Aug 2019
Every time I look at your photos,
Is a time I realize how sh*t
I was for you..

Your smile is my happy pill then,
But now your smile
Is a tear for my soul..
Aug 2019 · 129
Why
Joshua Aug 2019
Why
Why do you have
To compare me with someone
From your past?

Why did you love
Me when your feelings for him
Still lasts?

I'm not him.
And I will never be someone I'm not..
Someone told us that comparison is the worst judgment one can give. I agree.
Aug 2019 · 73
Soon
Joshua Aug 2019
Trust me,
Everything that you're dealing with right now
Will be okay.
Maybe it could take long,
But soon,
Everything will be all right.
Just a motivation for those who need it. :)
Aug 2019 · 60
Water
Joshua Aug 2019
They say, drink 8 glasses of water a day.
What if I make it 9 glasses per day?
'Cause I cry a glass of tears,
Every-single-day..
Aug 2019 · 79
Perfect Lie
Joshua Aug 2019
Just a mile to our place.
I can see the sadness in her face.
So I pulled the car over.
And all I heard was silence.
Until she asked "Do you love me?"
She did not throw a single stare at me.
Her eyes are about to shed tears.
My mouth's too dry to explain.
Minutes passed.
A beautiful woman is sobbing beside me.
"I love you." I said.
And that made her cried harder.
The pain I felt that day,
Chilled the hell out of me.
I cheated.
I lied.
I pushed her away.
I hurt her everyday.
The woman who only loved me,
Is now the saddest person I see.
What a perfect mess she met,
"I love her."
What a perfect lie I made.
Aug 2019 · 126
Midnight and a Broken Heart
Joshua Aug 2019
It's night again
Darkness filled his room
Broken heart of a man
Hoping he'll get well soon
Fan is blowing cold air
While he's under the blanket
Hardly tweaking his hair
Rolling on the bed full of tears
Watching himself drown
He loved her for many years
But she just let him down
He's about to go crazy
While she's sleeping calmly
He's thinking of their memories
Memories that now hurts like a disease
A happy start
And a sad ending
Story that started from a spark
Now within its closing
He lost her.
She lost him.
Maybe now he knew,
That love is about losing..
Why do we always lose the ones we love?
Aug 2019 · 546
Star
Joshua Aug 2019
You're my star.
Brilliant, beautiful, shines above all.
Here I am,
Just looking at you,
'cause I couldn't reach you.
Aug 2019 · 256
Mess
Joshua Aug 2019
Thought I'm the best for you.
Ended up being the worst..

I'm sorry..
Aug 2019 · 106
Far Behind
Joshua Aug 2019
Woke up this morning
And checked on your twitter right away
My body's still aching
From all the beers I drank yesterday
1000 days have passed
But still stucked in today
Dreaming to be your boyfriend
Seems like a fantasy with no end

The day I'm about to make to a move
Confident as I wear new perfume scent
I saw you with this one dude
He's got Rolly Royce, while I got ten cents

I pretend to close my eyes
As he kisses you on your forehead
I filled my thoughts with lies
Wishing he isn't your boyfriend

As always, Im late.
This is the one I hate!
Now,
Body aches with alcohol.
Heart breaks as I fall.
Just in time to improve,
But not in time to make a move..
Haven't wrote for a while.
Aug 2019 · 69
Untitled
Joshua Aug 2019
Hi-Hello-Goodbye..
Apr 2019 · 406
"Failure"
Joshua Apr 2019
I've just found out
That my own parents
are backstabbing me...

And that is probably
the most heartbreaking part
of my life..

I failed and unable to give what you expected,
But this is not the way I want you to treat me.
I cried that I made a mistake.
Oh no.
You're the reason that I cried harder..
I'm jealous how other parents comfort their child when they're down. Unlike me. *sigh*
What a cruel world.
Apr 2019 · 220
"Love Me"
Joshua Apr 2019
Come with me,
And let our two hearts
Beat as one..
Apr 2019 · 394
"Sun"
Joshua Apr 2019
We began with a slight light,
Until we found we're inlove,
You shine bright as I look at you,
You're the brightest of all.
But love slowly faded away,
I thought you were my morning star,
But the truth is you're a sunset,
Who left me with nothing,
But darkness..
Apr 2019 · 306
"Goodbye"
Joshua Apr 2019
I ate my pride.
Got tired.

Now I'm done with you..
Mar 2019 · 133
Sad
Joshua Mar 2019
Sad
"Im kicking the curb
Cause you never heard the words that you needed so bad,
And I'm kicking the dirt,
Cause I never gave you
The things that you needed to have."

-Maroon 5
Feb 2019 · 393
"Bakit"
Joshua Feb 2019
Nilalamig at nangangatog.
Naghihintay na tila ba maaga pa.
Alas dos na ng umaga,
Pero ito ako,
Nagbabakasaling darating ka pa.

Sabik na makita ang labi ****
binabalot ng ngiti,
At mga mata **** animo'y bituin
sa kalawakan.
Inagahan pumunta sa tagpuan
upang mapaghandaan,
Nakapagdasal na rin ako na
Sana damit ko'y iyong magustuhan.

Isang oras ang lumipas,
Gahol na gahol pa akong kumaripas
Makabili lang ng mapupulang rosas
Na ikakalat sa lamesang aking hahainan.

Handa na rin ang bulaklak
na ipinasadya sa murang halaga.
Nasinghot ko na nga lahat ng amoy,
Pero mahal, wala ka pa.

Naalala ko pa nga kung paanong
Nabigyan ko ng problema si mama
Kakahanap ng magandang tela
Na ilalatag ko para maupuan nating dalawa.
Ito na nga, handa na.
Nahiga, naupo, tumihaya.
Lahat na ata ng posisyon nagawa ko na,
Kaya mahal, nasan ka na ba?

Lumamig na rin ang niluto kong putahe.
Nawalan na rin ng lasa ang tinimpla
kong inumin kakalagay ng yelo
Para mapanatili ang lamig niya.

Handa na rin ang musika.
Handa nang umindak ang parehong kaliwa kong paa.
Nananabik nang maisayaw ka sa unang pagkakataon,
Sa loob ng pagsasama natin ng mahabang panahon.

Tila'y nagsasabi na rin na paparating ka na
Ang mga ilaw na aking palamuting hinanda,
Sa bawat pikit nila'y pag-asa kong
Yapak mo ay papalapit na.

Nilalamig at nangangatog.
Naghihintay na tila ba maaga pa.
Alas dos na ng umaga,
Pero ito ako,
Kakabasa lang ng mga text nilang,
"Wala na sya."

Nakatanga. Nakatulala.
Hawak ang bulaklak na ipinasadya.
Bumuhos ang mga luhang nawalan ng pagasang,
Darating ka pa..
A spoken word poetry.
Feb 2019 · 150
"How are you?"
Joshua Feb 2019
I'm Okay,
Even I'm so tired,
Living the same life I had a day ago.
I'm Okay,
Even the world had turned its back on me.
I'm Okay,
Even the problems I had been all stressing me up.
I'm Okay,
Not y'all knowing that I'm not.
I'm Okay,
Being sad and not seeing the reason to show
my slightest smile.
I'm Okay.
Why?
'cause I'm so good faking my own feelings.
You?
How are you?
Feb 2019 · 112
"I lost"
Joshua Feb 2019
I'm holding my phone.
Blankly staring at it.
Waiting for something to happen.
Until reality hits me,
That you're not coming back.

I'm lost.
I lost.
I lost you.
I'm feeling broken,
Even I'm the one who broke you first.
Feb 2019 · 135
"Pride"
Joshua Feb 2019
Our hearts fell in love,
Our souls intertwined,
Our memories strengthened us,

But our pride broke us apart.
Feb 2019 · 62
Untitled
Joshua Feb 2019
I ******* loved you..


Why wasn't that enough..
Feb 2019 · 101
"Funny"
Joshua Feb 2019
It's funny how you used to
Say "I love you"
It's funny how you used to
Say "I miss you"
It's funny how I fell for words without actions.
It's funny how I used to be so stupid.

It's just funny now that I've realized,
..I don't deserve you.
Feb 2019 · 225
"Moon"
Joshua Feb 2019
The moon was shining bright,
As I looked at it,
I can't stop thinking about you.

Are you happy now?

Do you think about me too?

Then the moon whispered to me,
"Stop. You're only hurting yourself."
Feb 2019 · 112
"Missing"
Joshua Feb 2019
I miss you.
A lot.
But there are some things,
Worth missing for
than having for.
Feb 2019 · 1.3k
"McFloat"
Joshua Feb 2019
Naalala ko pa yung araw na napagdesisyunan kong kumain sa McDo.
Kasi wala lang, trip ko lang.
Hindi naman ako gutom, hindi rin pagod.
Pero nag-McDo ako.

Noong panahong yun,
Saka ko lang narealize yung sinasabi nilang "Self Worth."
Pahalagahan ang sarili, mahalin.
Bagay na hindi ko nagawa sa nakaraan.
Kaya ayun, nagwakas, natuldukan.
Paano naman nga ba kasi magpapahalaga sa iba
Kung sarili ko nga di ko mapahalagahan.

Umorder na ko ng fries at Big Mac
Syempre kasama ang paborito kong McFloat.
Nasa kalagitnaan na ko ng pagnguya
Nung nagtanong ka
"May nakaupo na po ba?"
Hindi ko na tiningnan ang kanyang mukha
Umiling nalang ako.
Nagtataka rin kasi ako bat sa harap ko pa naisipan **** umupo.
Yun pala, wala na talagang pwesto sa McDo.

Binasag mo ang katahimikan sa pagpapakilala mo sa akin.
Bigla atang lumamig ng hangin
Lalo na nung nakita kong nakangiti ka sakin.

Nagkakilala tayo. Naging magkaibigan.

Ikaw ang nagsilbi kong Happy Meal
sa araw-araw na paggising ko.
Hindi ko na kailangan ng Happy Meal toy
Kasi makasama ka lang enjoy na ako.
Ikaw yung chicken fillet na
sa sobrang lambot ng pisngi mo nanggigigil ako.
Ikaw yung Hot Fudge na mas matamis pa
sa Dairy Milk kasi sobrang sweet mo.
At para kang gravy ng McDo
na hanggat di ubos yung ulam magrerefill ako.

Hanggang isang araw, inaya mo ko mag-McDo.
Masaya akong sumama kasi minsan lang yun.
Ako naman ililibre ng taong madalas ilibre ko.
Feeling ko tuloy sasagutin mo na ako.
Nagpresenta kang ikaw na o-order
At ako nang bahala sa uupuan.
Hindi ko alam bakit pagkaupo ko palang
Nakaramdam na ko ng kalungkutan.
Natakot ako bigla sa di malamang dahilan.

Buti dumating ka na, at
Buti nakangiti ka.
Ngunit ako ay nagtaka na
Ang pagkaing binili mo ay hindi para sa dalawa.
Agad **** sinabi saken na saglit lang,
May pupuntahan ka lang.

Pagkaalis mo, kinain ko na ang binili mo.
Pero nagulat ako
Matapos kong i-angat ang burger na inorder mo.
"Hindi pa pala ako handa."
Nakasulat sa sticky note na nilagay mo.
Di ko alam ano ibig **** sabihin
Kaya nagdecide akong ikaw ay hintayin.
Mahal, sabi mo saglit.
Pero bakit hindi ka na bumalik?
Iniwan mo na ako.
Iniwan mo gamit ang isang sticky note,
Kasama ang favorite kong McFloat.
Feb 2019 · 170
"Bato"
Joshua Feb 2019
Hindi naman masakit.
Hindi naman masakit malait-lait.
Kahit anong sabihin, iyo pa ring ipipilit.
Kumalma ka, wag ka munang magalit.

Hindi ako perpekto para hindi magkamali.
Hindi ako plastic, ayokong magkunwari.
Sana naniwala ka,
Sana inuna **** makinig, kesa manghusga.

Sarado ang bintana at pinto,
Sarado ang utak at puso mo,
Handa na akong sabihin,
Ayoko na, sigaw ng aking damdamin.

Kung kaya ko lang maging manhid,
Babalewalain ko ang sakit na 'yong hatid.
Hindi talaga laging panalo,
Lalo na kung ikaw na yung magpapatalo.

Itinapon mo ako, gaya ng bato,
Hinagis mo na parang wala lang sayo,
Alam mo,
Sana nga bato nalang ako,
Para di ko maramdaman
Kahit durog na durog na ako..
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