Don't stress over what you can't control...you're only wasting time and energy. I know it's easier said than done but the more you keep thinking about the uncontrollable elements of your life...the more you will hamper the controllable parts of your life.

what does it feel like to be held
not by another body
not by a set of limbs, a chest, a chin
but
by another soul

what does it feel like
to see truth in another pair of eyes
instead of hidden intentions
instead of absence

what does it feel like
to hear a familiar heartbeat
resounding next to your own
reaching through skin
through bone
two rhythms
indistinguishable

what does it feel like
to write poems about
a love that exists

I know pain
By it’s first names, intimately
The pain isn’t even the hard part
But the hole it leaves when I don’t feel it
Even though it’s always there
A phantom with no pain
Asinine, pointless
You learn to make pain feel
Get used to it, make it part of you
Made my pain an edge, an advantage
Kept it close like my enemies
Put it there for safe keeping
And it’s kept me safe, at least the feeling of it
But now I don’t need it anymore
Awkward, once you can’t turn it off
It's been concealed and carried for way too long
become a part of me
latched to my ribs
Right between my lungs
Becoming another pain within
Sticks to the skin and itches inside
Built it up for the bad days
Without them, I feel unwanted
No purpose, and that’s worse than… everything
Loneliness, heartache, pain, loss, hunger, all of it
If you don’t need me, do I need to stay?
I can’t help because I need it
Wiping my own tears
No game to win, no story to tell
Suppose to just… live with myself?
After everything I’ve become
So much life wasted
Used as a stepping stone
Wandering and wondering, for…
So many regrets I should regret
Too many regrets I should forget
Pain because it’s all gone
Good and bad, I can’t have it back
The past is my sickness
Regret its diagnosis
Now the future seems darker
And I fear I’ll be useless

Sweet Blue,
Explore and run
Find a world
Where you could breathe

Dear Blue,
Whether it’s someone
Who saves you
Or just running in sleep

Find a world, my child
Find a place
Where you could breathe.

Seek freedom from the anxious mind
For, you have the freedom to choose
Break the shackles of intimidation
Claim your freedom for the sleeping madness
Wake up to a world of freedom, for it’s yours
Freedom for the prejudices and the dogmas
Claim your freedom for the untrusting world
Freedom beckons you from the deepest caverns
Thwart the advances of violence, and seize freedom
Do not pay heed to the abusive words
As your freedom to speak up is jeopardized
The weakest of hearts and minds, resort to violence
And their abode inside is wrecked by loss of freedom
You freedom will come when you walk out
Opening the gates of your heart to freedom
The weak personalities seeks to strangle freedom
To dominate the beautiful souls, as they feel threatened
Assert your freedom; this is becoming a puppet’s world
Always made to act when the strings are pulled
There is a world full of love and freedom waiting for you
You just have to cross the threshold of the murky world
Only you can win your freedom, if you choose to
Seek freedom, and slam the door on the world of captivity





© Amitav (Radiance)