"Im not getting bad again, I promise"
I repeat to myself any time I feel down
as if having a bad day isn't allowed when depression hangs its cloak over you like a coat rack
Im not bad im just a little sad....
but then they ask are you sure,
so the two sides of my brain start to brave the battle of paranoia
and instead of concluding with joy
im constantly lost in the limbo
trying to find a ploy out of this crypto

I could never tell you
exactly what's going on inside my head,
so I'll write instead.
Drown my thoughts in paper & lead.
Keep my hands alive,
and my expression dead.

So many people talk about the
Light at the end of the tunnel.
But they don’t talk about
What comes after that.
They don’t talk about how
The light blinds you when you get too close,
How it completely swallows you, and
How you’re left confused and bewildered afterwards.
No one tells you that change can hurt you,
Internally- the worst way-
Turning your whole world upside down.
No one talks about how the
Light at the end of the tunnel can also be
The light of an oncoming train.

Life is easy
But it's been busy
Happiness is light
But sadness likes to fight.

My mind is big
But it's some dig
Dreams make it right
But sometimes turn to the dark sight.

My heart is young
But it's some wrong
Thoughts write from day to night
But the diary is always white.

The face is smiling
But it's really crying
Sometimes the breath is so tight
But everyone knows it's alright.

Love is part of life
But sometimes treats like a knife
When something happens inside
Then someone commits suicide.

I love my life
I love my dreams
I wouldn’t use a knife
I have family and friends.

Don't worry about me
I can hear and see
I don’t like to take a flight
I'm alright in my way, I am alright!

Why do I find myself alone and trapped
By the four walls around my mind?
I search for some way to scale them
A rope or ladder I never find.

I did not choose to be in this desperate place
Here where my darkest thoughts are kept
The deepest corners are a lair to pain
Dusty crevices long since swept.

Amongst undisturbed sticky cobwebs
Lies a part of me coated in dust
The tortured memories of nightmares past
Don't want to uncover, know deep down I must.

This house built to harbor hatred and hurt
Changed from a home to a prison cell
Halls that used to be a welcome escape
Have instead transformed into an exitless hell.