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 Nov 2015 Morgan Floyd
Y Rada
It is difficult to be a man,
For I am not a typical one.
It is hard for me to go on,
There’s a secret that pulls me.

I loathe when my memories strike,
They hit emotionally with might.
I struggle so much to survive,
In a world so deaf towards my cries.

I look at a He and my heart convulses,
For I recall a He who gave me kisses.
I was young, forced and naïve,
I fought but He was much stronger.

Society might tell that I’m gay,
For I let a man violated me in a way.
But I’m not a ***** and I’m sure,
I play a role for which others envy.

When I was a teen I met her,
I admired her even if she’s older.
I was then shy and very timid,
With mental and emotional scars.

I thought of her as a dear friend,
Then she turned to be my worst fiend.
One instance she forced herself on me,
And used things that hurt me so.

A girl’s tactics differ from the stronger ***,
Tears she used first and blackmail next.
She was cunning, sly and very clever,
She stole my pride and my dignity.

My fears now mixed with anger,
My determinations got bolder.
I still cry and sometimes get lonely,
Like any other victim I want to fight.

I can not shout to the whole nations,
For societies will scorn at my declamation.
Both sexes forgot that I have feelings too,
I am also made of flesh, bones and spirit.

I am not proud of what I become,
Within me clouding reasons try to calm.
My desire is to win this battle to the end,
I am capable of vulnerability like any human.

But where does my right begin?
This universe has compassion for women.
The likes of me are expected to be steel made,
Yet I have feelings too for I am just a man.
Dedicated to all abused males by other men and to the men abused by females. A simple shout out to the world that I care…that I have heard your cries… and that you are still loved.
 Nov 2015 Morgan Floyd
Y Rada
Tick – tock! Tick – tock!
I never imagined that listening to the Hickory clock
Could be sensuous or ******.
Hah! Tick for the longing to reach one lover’s arms for caress
Tock for wanting to do heavenly things on this earth.

Ah! The glory of this lustrous life,
So full of hate, so full of love, so full of lust.
Tick – tock! Tick – tock!
Time itself is passion,
The waiting agony seeping through the body
Like a sweet toothache
Making way to the center of the being.

Squirming, not knowing what will be the next
Cookoo! Cookoo! Chimed the Hickory...
Ah! Is this what they call prolonging of pain?
Deliciously blind and white.
But what do I know?
I am still naïve with these feelings,
What do I know about it?
What do I know?
 Oct 2015 Morgan Floyd
Shel
You
 Oct 2015 Morgan Floyd
Shel
You
I should be thinking about math, reading, social studies,
but instead all I'm thinking
about you
in school,
after school,
at night,
24/7
School=hell
 Oct 2015 Morgan Floyd
Shel
Purple
 Oct 2015 Morgan Floyd
Shel
Purple was the color of the shirt you wore when we first met
Purple was the color of the flowers you brought for me on our first date
Purple was the color of the sky when we first kissed
Purple was the color ink you used when you wrote me love letters every week
Purple was the color of the hickey on my neck
Purple was the color of my dress and your tie at our first school dance

Purple was the color you left my skin after our first fight
Purple was the color of hand prints around my thigh, on my back, neck, stomach
Purple is the color shirts I started wearing,
hoping we could go back to the first day we met,
when you wore

a purple shirt
 Oct 2015 Morgan Floyd
Shel
Trigger Warning*

She sits home alone at night
Silently listening to her demons' fights
She's on the verge of tears
Thinking of her deepest fears
Her demons are loud
They sit around her head like a cloud
Razer blade to the right
Bottle of pills to the left
She picks one up
Then sets it down
She picks the other up
Her mind is so clouded
They both look the same
Both a way out
Both a way to ease the pain
She only knows she now has the blade
By the way the light
Sparkles off the crisp, sharp, edge
I like to draw* she thinks
Art is beautiful
She slowly drags the cold metal across her skin
Once, twice, three times, four, five,
She stops
Looks at her master piece
And says
*Now I'm beautiful, too
 Oct 2015 Morgan Floyd
Shel
Mother,

I'm sorry I'm not skinny enough to wear clothes you want me to. I'm sorry I'm fat. But being fat is not bad. Fat is just a describing word. Just like skinny and chubby, short and tall. I'm sorry the music I listen to gives you headaches, I try to keep it down. I know how much you hate the screaming. Maybe sometime you could listen or search up the lyrics, please? Maybe you will know how I'm feeling after a few songs. I'm sorry my favorite color is black, not pink or purple. I'm sorry I don't wear dresses. I'm sorry I like dying my hair different colors and that I like piercings and wish to get some tattoos some day. What I'm not sorry about is my sexuality. Don't try to put me down because I'm bisexual. I will come back stronger and just rise again. I'm not sorry about what I believe either. I may not be catholic like the rest of the family but I still have a heart. Even with everything you dislike about me, you will never break me.

You cannot break me.

Sincerely,
Your daughter
It's just decisions
You're whole world, that's all it is
Decisions shape life
Please I beg you,
to end my life,
Squash me with a shoe,
Grab the hunting knife,

I haven't lived long, I know that now,
But ahead I see, infinite ways for my life to flow,
It's all just a stones throw from my sacred vow,
The world is unbalanced, her sobs and her woes

Guide us all to the future, with the past still fresh
her whispers of sorrow are blocked from all view
If we cannot change she will *******, refresh,
and a new species like Dinos, homos, next in queue

**** sapiens burning the bones,
of dinosaurs, once feared and renowned,
we rely on their power, the system groans,
when it disappears, the masses will groan,

A collective groan upwards of seven billion,
lives in the sand, in the grand scheme so bland,
they moan a tune of immeasurable trillions,
that rest within this vicious land,

And it all flows from positive to negative,
and it all seems so insensitive,
Or perhaps a cowards views are Introspective,
But a retrospective mindset requires sedative,

Collector that is why I have this sickening plea
Think what you wish, I am only me
Personal
Last night I dreamt
I swallowed a bottle of pills
It wasn't until I heard your voice
That I jammed my finger down my throat
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