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Grace Butler Apr 29
I lay awake laying next to you
Amidst the tears rolling down my cheeks
I hear you stir in your sleep
I lay here awake worried I woke you up
But hoping you’d notice my pain
I lay here awake, you fall back asleep
I lay here awake, tears down my face
Grace Butler Sep 27
You can’t see something is wrong
Or you do see it but chose to ignore it
You don’t ask me what’s wrong
The person you claim you love
But I see you asking people you hardly talk to if they’re ok
So I don’t understand why you can’t do the same for me
Why don’t you chose me
Grace Butler Mar 2019
How do I function
Why am I this way
I try so hard to love myself
But even though I try hard
I know that I’m not really trying at all
I know that I miss you
I know that I love you
I want you to be mine
I wish I could get into your head
I wish I could see how you feel
I know you tell me
But the problem is I can’t tell if it’s true or not
All I know is that sometimes
I feel like I’m not enough
Like I’ll never be enough
Tell me I’ll be enough
Tell me you love me
Tell me you want to be with me
And if that’s not the case
Tell me to move on
Tell me we can’t be together
Just please tell me how you really feel
You can’t go from talking to me every night
To talking to me once a week
To talking to me once a month
This is killing me
You used to say goodnight
You used to tell me I’m cute
Now I don’t get a goodnight
I don’t get a you’re cute
I don’t know what’s happening
Do you just not have time for me anymore
Or is it that you just don’t want time for me
Was I too much
Did I come off too strong
Did I?
Did I?
Grace Butler Dec 2019
It’s been hard
Trying to figure out who you are
Figuring out where you stand.
Sometimes the ground is unsteady, unstable
Sometimes you fall down
It’s hard when no one is there to help you up
When gravity is pulling you down..
It’s hard to find the force up
But when you find that force, that will to fight..
Nothing can stop you.
“I am a force to be reckoned with” you say
“I am here, I will fight harder” you say
I am here to stay
I am here and I will push forward
I can beat gravity.
Grace Butler Apr 12
I try so hard to be ok
I was tired of being tired
Tired of crying
And I did well for a while
I really did
But I’m not ok
I’m not ******* ok
I feel defeated and alone
And I’m left here, missing you
Laying in my bed, tears down my cheeks
Missing you.
Grace Butler Jun 28
“I just want to be pretty”
I whisper to myself
As I look at the parts of me
That I see as flaws
“I just want to be pretty”
I say as I look in the mirror
At my large stomach
My thick thighs
My chubby cheeks
And my double chin
“I just want to be pretty”
I whisper to myself
Thoughts of a sad big girl
Grace Butler Dec 2019
I hope that one day, you get a text from someone and think “wow, I love her so much” or “that’s my girl, she’s gorgeous “ or anything like that. And I know that it might not be me and that’s ok. It will hurt for a while I promise you that, but no matter what I want you to reach a point of being completely in love with someone. I want you to be happy and if you reach that moment, that moment of complete love, with or without me.. I will be happy for you because if I love you, I would want to see you happy. I still love you... but love is indescribable.. it can build you up and tear you down at the exact same moment. Love begins and it can end in the exact. same. moment. It teaches you lessons you’ll remember for a lifetime and all I can say about it is... I’m glad to have the opportunity of loving you.
To the love I lost
Grace Butler Jan 28
Everytime I look in the mirror, I wonder what you see in me.
I see all my flaws, you see my beauty.
I see scars, you see my survival.
I see all the acne and bags under my eyes, you see my struggle to sleep with understanding. You see that I try to take care of myself but it’s hard sometimes.
In comparison to others I feel immensely inferior.
So I ask myself what do you see in me?
Why can’t I see what you see?

Why does the mirror deceive me?
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”
Why do I see me the way I do?
Grace Butler Mar 19
I don’t know what thoughts are going through my head because I can’t hear them
I don’t know what I think because all I can hear is the opinions of others
I don’t know what I want
I can’t think I can’t think I can’t think
Grace Butler Dec 2019
When is it too early
To tell him that he’s the love of your life
When is it too early
To talk about the future
When is it too early to wonder if he still loves you
It’s too early
To “think about the future” he says
It’s too early
“Anything could happen between then and now” he says
It’s too early
“I’ve only ever been with you, I don’t know what else is out there” he say
I guess it was too early
I’ve lost the love of my life
I've lost you.

— The End —