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Ezis May 2018
Young one,

Right now, I see you and my heart breaks
My memory of this moment you are in
is not one I want to experience again.
But I'm sorry to tell you this isn't the last time you will feel this way
But it also won't feel this way forever.
This I can promise.
I promise.

Young one, I know you have been betrayed
You say there is no none,
they have all left you to abandonment
this is true, I can't tell you different because you will disagree
but I will tell you,
look around,
there are more people feeling this way, its not just you.
There may not be people in your life right now,
but that doesn't mean there won't be forever.
This I can promise.
I promise.

Young one, I have lost all my friendships many times
it hurts the same every time
But you know it when you feel it
that a new person, a better person
will come, and does come
This I can promise.
I promise.

Look up young one,
look at the sky, look at the rain
Whatever you see, feel it
Let the tears come, you can't stop them
But don't choose to stop anything else...
You will be okay
This I can promise.
I promise.
Ezis May 2018
One day
you will see me for who I am
when it all goes to ****
I will not care if I yell and scream at you
"I don't know why I ever loved you
I don't know why I ever tried,
you are not worth my love
or my time if I give you all
and you give me nothing"

These are the words I will say to you.
Ezis Apr 2018
I deleted her picture today
the same day I tripped over my feet,
got a nose bleed,
and lost forty dollars.
So should I have done it?
I see her roommate at work,
she knows more about me
than I know about me.
Weird how that works.
I wish it wasn't this way
Maybe I should have left and gone to a different school,
It's not like I didn't think about it
But yet my heart has healed in Liz's comfort
and the surrounding of this new group
"We are not them" Charlie says to me.
I say that I know, but somehow I don't
I fear this perpetual loss of friendship
and it eats at my heart
like termites
but my heart is not wooden
its glass.
It has many cracks and gaping holes
from the divorce and the deaths and the loss of friendship.
But every once in a while
people come around attempting to make me whole
My problem now is
I don't trust that new friends
won't break me like the others
Ezis Apr 2018
I'm living in a tank filled with sharks
A contained living space
with creatures of blood

My body
suspended in the water
dark, blue light filters in
from somewhere far above

I don't need to have my eyes open
to know they are out there
watching me

Every once in a while
one gets too close
to me and my lifeless body
it nudges its head against my floating limbs
reminding me it's there

Today a shark took a bite out of me
my flesh ripped open and I am exposed
What do I do?
If I hit it back, surely it will consume me entirely
and if I don't I will die slowly anyway

You see, here in this tank
there isn't escape
The sharks don't leave
they pack together and hunt me

So I stay here
my hair fanned out and body wieghtless
floating and waiting for something to happen
I wait for the creatures of the tank
to leave me
but I know they will only sink back
into the shaddows
watching and waiting
for the next time they want to take a bite
  Apr 2018 Ezis
Hopeless Outlet
I'm kind of stuck
At least... I think I am
Somewhere between telling everyone I know to *******
And "just please come hold me friend"

Some place in between an uneasy heart and hectic mind

"I'm depressed"
Can't I just say it without having to explain why?
Sometimes I don't even know which reason to choose

Short replies

"You seem like you don't want to talk"

You're right, but I also want to reach out
I want out
I want to let go of everything
And capture it all in my arms

like a fire fly in the palm of restless hands,
Just let me hold on to your light
Atleast, just for tonight

Because I'm feeling stuck.
Ezis Apr 2018
My heart still jumps every time
your name shows up on my phone
I'm craving you
Only 30 days
until I am in the hometown we share
Only 30 days
until I have 10 seconds
of ultimate courage
when I learn over to you sitting beside me
and kiss you
with all I have
because I have waited two years to do this
and I will not wait any longer
Only 30 days
Ezis Apr 2018
I can't wait for the summer
because it's when I'll get to see you

I want to lay in the grass with you
I want to go to the art museum with you
I want to get high with you
I want to skinny dip with you
I want to watch comedy shows with you
I want to paint van gogh on your back
I want to get drunk with you
I want to dye your hair
I want to spray paint the mills with you
I want to kiss you
I want to hold you

I wait for the summer to come
and all that it has to offer
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