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Gaze on that woman by the train.
With curves like gunpowder
that will shoot fireworks again.
As her and I once were.

Since then, of women, I've abstained.
My chest is a pyre
to the damsel I couldn't retain;
fondness that won’t expire.


You say I could never attain
and imply I'm a liar!?
Or you think either me insane
or least she's miswired?

The evidence on my brain -
melancholy, ire -
the despondent husk that remains,
need you more enquire?


...True, of her, no displays of pain;
eyes that jolt not tire,
poker voice tipping no disdain,
legs that feed desire!

For her, gone love is not a chain
hidden by attire
or flushed down a forgotten drain.
It merely retired.

Love like hers was the wind and rain
to my earth and fire.
"My woman says that she prefers to marry no one
over me, not even if Jupiter himself should seek her.
She says (these things), but what a woman says to her desirous lover
is fitting to write on the wind and on fast-flowing water."
Poem 70 - Catullus
Subconscious vapors of lucidity whisper into the depths of my soul.  Pleading Pleiades, daughters of Atlas, exhale mythical wisps that wander in the constellations of my mind anointing me and by their
decree I am Divine.
More illusions of grandeur
The dream is wonderful
but empty
until filled up, til it's full
filled with the idea of you
Love is like an avalanche
what a beautiful word for a disaster
how willingly we work on our own sabotage
Aren't we just the most silly creatures?
Feeling for another, one of our most valued features
Feeling recklessly even if something breaks
never stopping no matter how high the stakes

Snow came for me eventually
covering me up completely
For I am loved momentarily
maybe
I am frozen in place
waiting for spring
to sip on sweet juices once again
to leave on your chest nothing but flowers
I wait and count the hours
til the avalanche comes for me and devours
all that is in me
 Aug 2018 Brandon Conway
Helen
If i could turn back time,
I want to be the kid who cries over toys,
Not flaws.

If i could turn back time,
I want to laugh until breathing becomes hard,
Not to hide my pain.

If i could turn back time,
I want to turn on the mp3 so i can dance to it,
Not to control my tears.

If i could turn back time,
I want to stay up late using my controllers,
Not pencils.

Empty feelings, hopeless journey.
Invisible existence, slowly fading.
Living in a cruel world,
I'm a dreamer in the darkest reality.
I am content
with thy firmament
In silence I hold my lament
My fear is my strength
it unfolds to earths length
Beyond what my eyes may see
I lay my trusty words upon thee
Home is far from blinded sight
A life hidden in a darkened night
There we fell into closeness
An abundance of things to confess
In simple wholesomeness we linger
Til I can reach thy lips with my finger

I am content
with thy firmament
the same one it will be
when we look up we'll see
 Aug 2018 Brandon Conway
Yitkbel
We struggle everyday in this nightmare of living,
only to wake up to another dream after death.
 Aug 2018 Brandon Conway
Yitkbel
I am struggling to wake up from this nightmare of living,
only to live another dream after death.
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