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Helen Sep 2018
You come whenever you feel like to,
Especially after my laughter becomes louder.
You lost the map to my happiness,
And left me with more tears to shed.

I know anyone more than i know myself,
Because my inner self has been killed.
I remember the person i used to be,
Because it's the only thing i won't forget.

Thought this was a gifted journey,
But it turned dark since the last time i smile.
Thought the pain would end there,
But the only way out is to stop battling.

So don't try to heal me, you can't.
For they say pain demands to be felt.
So don't think you know me,
For i can't even recognize myself.
Helen Aug 2018
If i could turn back time,
I want to be the kid who cries over toys,
Not flaws.

If i could turn back time,
I want to laugh until breathing becomes hard,
Not to hide my pain.

If i could turn back time,
I want to turn on the mp3 so i can dance to it,
Not to control my tears.

If i could turn back time,
I want to stay up late using my controllers,
Not pencils.

Empty feelings, hopeless journey.
Invisible existence, slowly fading.
Living in a cruel world,
I'm a dreamer in the darkest reality.
Helen Aug 2018
I don't know why,
I feel so lonely when people surround me.
I don't know why,
I shed tears over a melody.

I can't feel the warmth of a family,
Slowly, my heart is freezing, too.
I'm trapped in my own mind,
Shouting so loud, yet no response.

Days off don't heal me anymore,
They're rather a struggle to be alive.
Sleep is my kind of drug,
At least it's less painful than reality.

Don't ask me about how i feel,
Because the only way to describe it,
Is for you to look into my eyes,
And see how broken they are.

— The End —