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Engulfed by the deluge of magnetism
Senses torn to shambles by desire
My being cannot fathom
The unyielding sensation
Of weightlessness
It ravishes
This acidic intensity.
Oh my god, what have you done to your hair
Please tell me you didn’t buy those clothes with the money I gave you
What happened to the you that I use to know?
Why are you doing these things to yourself?
What have you done to my baby girl.
And there we go: that right there is just it.

Your baby girl isn’t the correct terms anymore
Don’t you remember when I was little,
All the times I ran around looking like I did.
You can’t tell me that you thought I’d really grow out of that.
When I was just a wee kid I think deep down I knew, I was just unsure of what it meant.
When I was only in the fifth grade I had a girlfriend, but we didn’t really know that.

Love, and what does that truly mean?
Favoritism, lying, shame, broken- hearted, depression, think on all of that.
Do any of the above mean crap to you now?
I know I’m not the favorite kid you don’t have to fake it anymore.
Face this, we all know that I’m the unwanted, the black sheep, bah bah.
Although I will give you that you both help me out a lot.

What is the reasoning behind this you ask, but I shall not give you the answer you want.
The reasoning is for me to explain that who I am is who I will always be.
Maybe I’ll even improve on the person I know I am supposed to be.
I know it’s not either of your faults that I didn’t develop the right parts.
I would change the way I am if I could because no it’s not easy, trust me I hate it too.
It’s a chemical imbalance they say, something you can be born with.

Why am I sitting here pouring out my heart that I already have on my sleeve?
I have no reason to believe that anything could even matter at this point.
We all know I will be me and you will disapprove regardless.
You say you love me in which I do believe that you both do.
My only thing is I feel as if I’m just not what you wanted.
Hell I wasn’t even meant to be so maybe that’s why I’m the black sheep.
Baahh Baahh cried the poor baby sheep.

Wiping the tears of my face now, I’m sorry dad. I’m sorry, mom.
I didn’t mean for this to happen, I hope you don’t mind another son.
I know it’s going to be heart breaking and mostly against God as you always say.
I know life isn’t meant to be perfect maybe that’s why I’m cursed with this pain.
The fear of it all is so scary I wish I could truly change.
I hope you know this has nothing to do with my preference in which I’m with.
For that sake is another topic we shall not address for now.

With all this out on the table now, I say it’s time to eat, feast on it with however you want my dear parents.
To the final tale about how the baby girl became a grown man no one ever knew about.
I'm looking outside the classroom window
thinking of how i'm going to manipulate this ink
into symbols expressing emotions to catch those of others

how to annotate pain
how to demonstrate euphoria
i look outside the window again. i'm trying too hard

no aches
no delights
no inspiration

cold-blooded and passionless
i wait for ingenuity
but it's not coming

i can't ******* go on like this
i can't look people in the eye and tell them i don't care
knowing i'm not lying
I'd still rather feel everything than nothing. There's no beauty in nothing. But is the risk of getting hurt worth feeling something?
One night every year
seeing things that we fear
ghosts, witches, monsters
celebrating Halloween
whether you a child, adult or teen.
Scaring our friends, scaring our neighbors
making them jump, making them scream
making them wish it was all a dream.
Have a happy Halloween everyone, go and scare the hell out of some people lol
You never feel like you're being used until they stop.
Unrequited Love:*

              Life's way of saying...  

     "You can do better"

                   ❤❤❤
Truly...  It's a blessing. I honestly forget sonetimes myself though...
swindling the air of its delight
using Cannabis pipes,
i have never written high
i finally understand why,
pen to paper
all i can write "cigarette break",
cannabinoid receptors
putting my mind on brink,
My feet get heavy as i start to float
my stress anchors me down,
like a twinkling eye of a magpie
drawn to the red sparks of the spliff,
Grilled,
Baked,
chasing the magic dragon.
alexander and i wrote a poem about ****
When wil I ever be better
Out shadowed out done
Words on a page
You give not a ****
So why the ****
Why am I here
Why shall I breathe
When I can beat my arms
With razors and blades
I can bleed
It's the feeling I have left
Paint my canvas red and my body ******
When will I not be out shadowed
When will I ever have something to my own
Humans
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