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I'm tired.
Tired of everything.
I just want to sleep,
And never wake up again.

No, I'm not lazy,
I'm not running away from life.
I'm just tired of the world and myself,
And too tired to change anything.
When I was younger, I used to think I was going to be a Star.
Under a spotlight where everyone knew my name...
I was five.

Now, I want shadows and to be as far away as possible.
Hidden and far from consequence,
And even further from myself.
Where my name is not a name,
But just another word without any true meaning.

When I was younger, I used to think I was going to be a Star.
Now, I want to disappear.

I should have jumped overboard when I had the chance.
When I was five,
my mother told me I was loved.
Years later, she asked me to leave because
I was the reminder of the gruesome past that haunted her.

When I was ten,
my father told me he believed in me.
Years later, he refused to accompany me because
I was an embarrassment to him in front of the society.

When I was fifteen,
my friends told me I was funny.
Years later, they all laughed at me because
I was the gullible teenager who fell for their flawless façade.

When I was twenty,
this guy said I was beautiful.
Years later, he trashed me, tormented me because
I was ignorant enough to overlook my inevitable flaws.

So, sorry for not believing in you,
for questioning your intentions, inclusively, in-depth
when you told me you loved me because
I didn’t want to wind up years later,
learning it the hard way that people often don’t mean what they say.
"Pistanthrophobia is just not everyone's cup of tea."
God, no one else is precious like you
even no one else is generous like you!
You are the one and only forever!

You keep gold under the soil
and save the crop in its veil;
You give honey in the flower.

The moon and stars kiss the night
The morning sun blooms daylight;
God, you roll the waves in the river.

You swing the clouds in the skies
and blow the winds in the trees;
Lord, you float the ship on the water.

God, you rush the heavy rain down
or raise the long drought often;
You make the morning dewy in the winter.

The sweet waterfall in the mountains
The full moon and pretty moonshine,
Everything is yours, Lord, you have no partner!
BE
I spent 83 days wondering why
1,992 hours crying
And 7,171,200 seconds dying a little more inside

I can't say I'm sorry for what happened before
I left because
I didn't matter to you anymore
Broken pieces.
Slog.
Life
can be
a slog.
A brutal
slog.
Riddled
with
minefields.
Dog eat
dog.
Left
bloodied
and beaten.
Not for
the faint
of heart.
Gladiators.
Warriors
on the
battlefield.
The
battlefield
called
life.
Many fail,
give up
the ghost.
Sometimes.
If you’re
lucky,
very lucky.
Near the
end of the
journey,
the clouds
will break.
The sun
will shine,
warm breezes
envelope.
All then
will be
right with
the world.
 Jul 2021 Sunset Meadows
Grey
Break me again? That’s okay
It’s all good.
It’ll be okay
Break me as much as you want Ill recover
 Jul 2021 Sunset Meadows
Nobody
Dark
 Jul 2021 Sunset Meadows
Nobody
I love darkness
Because in the dark
You won't see my scar
And I will be spared
From all the questionnaire
And you won't dare
To leave my hand
As you are scared
But what if you find a flare
Will you still bear with me?
will they?
5/8/2020

Off the ground, I’m in another world,
With only the wind to bother me.
What am I always so busy with?
I’ve forgotten what to worry about,
What a difference two feet can make!
 Oct 2020 Sunset Meadows
Teresa
No community owes you
People don’t have your back. No community owes you that.
Only those that love you have your back. No people owe you that.
It’s all about you and the community that you live in that gives back. They still don’t owe you that and that’s a fact.
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