i was not expecting that our ending,
would make me feel so relieved

is it my fault,
that that’s what you grew up to be?
did we play too much army?
let you touch too much of me?
we were only seven darling,
always down the street running,
did you ever know?
of your daddy screaming
our buddy bleeding
your mommy’s drinking
of our glasses shattering?
or were you blind like me, too?
was there something i could have done, if my eyes were open too?

my colorful insides have never felt so gray

I know that I really ****** up this time.
I can’t say a word about this at all.
In the end, I’m all that’s left on my side.
Only I pick myself up when I fall.
Don’t trust anyone, just keep up the hustle.
I’ll find a way to pull out from my grave.
Crank it out, don’t wait out, fire the pistol.
I don’t care bout how hard it is, be brave.
Marbled glass, hard to see through, but crystal clear.
No more vulnerability, no more time.
Just.
Haul.
***.

Even though I know I’m down to get ****** and crash,
Don’t stop till I drop.

I hear the crickets,
It's like she's next to me on the grass
Not on a receiver in my room
Because it was quiet
Only crickets purring
and I felt warm.

What am I doing,
crying alone in the dark?
What am I doing,
up at 3 am every single night?
What am I doing,
when I could just talk it out with you?

My world is void without your freckles.