03.09.2013
i've gone to bed around 7 today. the feeling of being awake without you is becoming unbearable. i still don't understand why you left. i never got any explanation. i miss you. everything is so cold. i think i want to die.

31.10.2013
i tried using ***** to make someone's lips taste like yours. but when i kissed them it felt like i was pouring my blood into a bottomless vase and everyone could see how i was failing miserably at trying to fill an empty well with a handful of water.

14.11.2013
i barely leave the house because i'm afraid that i might see you with him. you always look so happy. why do you look so happy without me. you said you loved me.

22.12.2013
i tried turning my sadness into a corpse of words and the burying it in 6 feet of blank pages, but every night i am visited by the ghost of the feelings i attempted to forget.

03.01.2014
it's been so long since i've had alcohol in my system. i've become numb enough to no longer need substances to make me forget whatever is happening around me. the pain has faded over time, but i still don't feel any less dead, let alone alive.

10.02.2014
my parents keep asking me why i'm always so quiet. thing is that i could never answer them, because your name is constantly clogging my throat. i see you in everything around me and late-night breezes have started to sound like lost echoes of your voice. your smell is still clinging to my sheets. god, help me.

15.03.2014
i'm drunk again. i miss you and everything hurts. i couldn't resist. i'm sorry i'm so sorry i'm so so sorry i love you i miss you please come back i love you i love y

She shouted from the roof tops
Her love for him
And how it would never stop

He simply stared at her
In utter shock
nobody could ever love me
Or so he thought...

She smiled with her arms spread apart
Waiting for a response

He stood there silently
Unable to move but wanting to walk
Walk away from the lies
Cause he'd been hurt too many times

She begged and pleaded
Trying to make him believe
It's the truth she said

But he couldn't respond
Simply turned around to leave
women only hurt me
Was all he could believe
Too much pain and abuse
For those lies to become the truth

She sunk inside herself
Filled with pain and so many tears
After years of trying
She finally faced her fears
Only to be hit with rejection
Imperfections of love
Shown at there finest
She couldn't stand her thoughts...

He slowed his walk
Thought about the past
Suddenly came to realize
This life is your last
And there on that roof top
He may have finally found some hope
So he stopped his walk
Turned around to accept the truth
Only to find
That she had jumped off...

0 is only possible with water
1 sadly isn't possible and won't satisfy
13 is equivalent to that of an unappetizing snack
300 is starting to border between satisfying and too much
500 is a little out there
1,000 is unsatisfactory
2,000 is toilet time

No one loves me
I'm not worth a single drop of blood

It would be wasted
If you spilt it for me

And dry your tears
For I'm the only one that has to cry

This time,
So there's no use shedding them for me

Sometimes, I wish I knew
How to disappear completely

So no one would remember my voice
Have no memories with me

I feel like life
Would merrily move along

If I were just simply
Gone
                     Gone

    Gone.