~

Awaiting the sunrise
or
awaiting your smile…

*the same thing!

May either be the reason of heavenly delight or terrifying ache

I ponder my life
as I sit at my desk
My pen the knife
The paper the bread

To feed my mind
what is needs
but my hand is in a bind
I can't seem to move

I need to write these words
A blank letter
Open window singing of the birds
Paper so bright white

These words I must cut
onto the paper
climb out of this rut
onto the paper

I carve

'I Love You'

But the person it is too
is someone I do not know
for they have changed into someone new

Once more I ponder my life

My pen the knife...

I can't seem to find who I am meant to be
Who is this inside of me
My mind is torn in two
It can't make up what to do

The real one I do not know
The real one I want to show
I'm lost in this limbo
Of scattered pieces of me falling slow

I need to find the real me
and make that the reality
that I must be
For people to see

But I'm lost in this scattered place
All of me gone, without a trace
What is it I  have become now
I don't think I can ever change, but maybe somehow

The dusk to darkness
I've seen so much
Nothing good, only bad and such
It has taken me to a place
Hanging my head of much disgrace
I have nowhere to turn
The flame this skin it will burn
The razor's edge dripped in crimson
Bullet from the chamber as it leaps in
The crackling, The slicing, The roar
A knock,
                              At the door

A stranger at this door
for some reason you are drawn to more and more
they incorperate themselves with you
Helping with what you must do
Then you realize that you must not waver
do yourself and family a favor
To keep on living on
From dusk to dawn
The door
                             It shuts

The stranger has gone
There is light, now from Darkness to Dawn.

You tell yourself,
that if she wanted to talk to you:
Then she would.

And she won't.
She wants you out of her life
for ever.
For good.

There are others
in her life.
Yet no one else
in yours.

The clouds fill up the sky,
your eyes;
and when it rains,
it *pours.

Your words make me sad
Your words make me so mad
All you have are lies
Trying to not break the ties
Did you not think I would find out?
That you speak with complete doubt
About where you were
You don't sound very sure
I fell for them once to
Because I had faith in you
That you could stop being fake
but your words are dead at the bottom of the lake
So I walk away
Hoping you will learn to stop the lies someday

Let us walk hand in hand
Leaving footprints in the sand
Let us look in each others eyes
and make sure that neither cries
Let us hold each other tight
Knowing that we are each others light
Let us kiss in the rain
Let the sensation soak away the pain
Let us be together
Let us last forever