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Nov 2019 · 50
Trapped in my mind
Cheyenne Smith Nov 2019
Why do I feel so trapped in my mind?
Why do I feel that the world would be better off if I died?
Why do I feel like I’ll never be enough?
Why do I feel that I’ll never be loved?

My conscience ***** me around
I don’t want to die, I’m longing to feel very alive
Holding on to memories of laughter, enchantment and delight
Wondering if I’ll ever win this fight?
Will I ever have a happy ever after?

I can’t recollect the last time I felt truly blessed
I lost sight of what was realistic
For many years my mind has left me believing that I’m possessed
I feel incredibly pessimistic

I just crave for a life where I feel adored
I wish I wasn’t drowning in my mind
I hope all my happiness and faith can be restored
I wish depression wasn’t so unkind.
Sep 2019 · 77
Realising who I was
Cheyenne Smith Sep 2019
I felt as though I needed to change to be accepted by others
My entire personality was trapped under covers
Constantly hiding my true colours

I never asked to be an outcast
I wished my feelings could be on a broadcast
To compare our massive contrast
And to overcome the past

The life I lived was little white lies
One day I soared through the magnificent skies
Showing no sense of demise
Until I became increasingly wise.
Cheyenne Smith Sep 2019
Sometimes people can **** up
People judge but they don’t know the close-up
X was murdered when he was barely a grown up.

He had many incredible dreams
To one day break it into the extremes
But now he’ll never live to relive the sun beams.

Unfortunately, he had to pay the biggest price
Losing him feels like my heart is solid ice
May X’s soul rest in paradise.
A poem after the death of my boyfriend’s favourite artist.
Aug 2019 · 329
Cheyenne Smith Aug 2019
When life is challenging, I no longer want to die.
Instead, I sometimes want to escape and fly.

Watching the waves drift by
Hoping you’ll always be by my side
Our love is as strong as the way the moon controls the tide.
Aug 2019 · 91
Becoming Free
Cheyenne Smith Aug 2019
Do you ever glance into the mirror and disapprove of what you see?
Despising your body, face, your bruises and your scars.
Have you regularly wanted to be something you can’t be?
Do you ever dream  of having a life of being accepted and free?

You should start by telling yourself you’re strong, loved, free and my scars won’t define me.
Aug 2019 · 209
The love I have for you
Cheyenne Smith Aug 2019
You’re sweeter than a gummy bear
You’re extremely unique, special and rare.
I love you with all my heart, showing I really care.

My feelings for you rapidly grew
When I’m not with you I’m greatly blue
What I wouldn’t do to be in between your arms cuddling you
Feeling a sense that’s so brand new.
Aug 2019 · 164
It was all a lie
Cheyenne Smith Aug 2019
They consistently remarked for me to glance up at the stars and make a wish however when I wish to be adored and beautiful like her it never fing works.
Never f
ing works
Never ever f*ing works
Guess it was all a lie but so is my life, wake up daily wishing I wasn’t alive, wishing I was elegant and content but that wish is never granted.
A poem regarding how insecure I can get.

— The End —