I have died
Body with no soul
The last melting ember
Of my once beautiful soul

Is now losing it's glow
The moments that pass
Slowly slow us down
We lose the happiness

We beg for it back
Yet there are those
That won't return
No matter what

My heart gone
Soul is dying
I leave this world
To find a new

How are you suppose to make it
When life keeps pushing you down
Your head starts spinning
Sending thoughts of dread

You start to fear
The tears form in your eyes
You can’t control it anymore
And they explode from your face

Face down in a pillow
You weep so suddenly
Feeling like a weight
Is pushing you under the sea

You start to wonder
If you ever belonged
And doubt the reasons
To stay alive anymore

You wish for something
To pull you out of it
To bring you back to the surface
But nothing comes to your aid

Feeling lost and abandoned
You feel alone
Grabbing at anything
That gives you the slightest hope

But nothing helps
You stop taking your meds
You don’t see the point
When they are just making it worse

You lost your boat
In the sea of torment
The demons grab
And pull you down further

You try to scream
To call out for help
But they have you by the throat
So no sound escapes

You think to yourself
When will this end
But there in lies the issue
There is no rescue

There is no way back
No arms will reach
No one to bring you back
To the surface to breath

So you drown in your own misery
Brought into you by years of torment
You curse yourself
Wishing you were dead

Things in life are never fair
No matter how much you wish it to be
You will always get hurt
By things you wish to unsee

Broken hearts
And passion that’s forgotten
It’s starting to be clear
That the world is rotten

Hiding your feelings
So others can’t know
Just how badly you hurt
And wish to go

You smile and wave
Like a happy little fool
All the while
Feeling like a tool

Being used and abused
By the ones you love
While all they do
Is push and shove

You fall down deeper
Into this bottomless well
Hoping for a light
To escape this hell

Yet the more you search
The harder it is to feel
What will truly help
Is a way to heal

To heal the heart
Refract the thoughts
Coping with the pain
Of so much loss

And yet you sit and wonder
What time will end up bringing
Will it be the perfect angel
Or a devils upbringing

I think I’ve lost my sanity
There’s no turning back
I’ve lost the battle
My mind now shattered

The demons laugh
They poke and ****
Pushing me further back
Into my own dark mind

They call me names
Scream profanity
Making me hate myself
Even more than I already do

I just want to go back
To a time where I was safe
Protected from the demons
Who devour my mind

I lost sight
Of what I had
The demons came out
To ruin my life

They pushed me too far
This time there is no stopping
The actions in which will happen
To stop them once and for all

To those who they hurt
I am so sorry
I wish I could have stopped them
I wish you could understand

I wasn’t in control
I had no memories of what happened
And because of their actions
I lost my only protection

The light which shown through the darkness
The one who could pull me out of my head
But it’s too late now
I’ll never get your light back

They have destroyed your faith in me
And in doing so destroyed my will
I’m sorry but I’m not strong enough
To face this battle alone

So I surrender
I forfeit the fight
For how can I possibly win
When I can’t see anything but darkness

When will this end
When will I stop being in pain
When will I be okay
When will I find my happiness

I stand here
With my heart bleeding
Tears of blood
Running down my face

I ask you
Do I even deserve love
Or am I destined to be hated
For all my life

I ask you this
Because deep within my heart
I feel like I don’t
Deserve anything but hate

Just rip me open
Take my bleeding heart
Into your callused hands
And squeeze it hard

Crush it so I don’t have to feel
This horrible pain
I’m begging you
Just end it

Because if I can’t have love
Then just give me death
I’d rather be dead
Than hated by you

You say you forgive me
But I don’t feel that’s true
I forgave you instantly
And my actions shown true

I may not be able
To control my alters
But my heart will always remain
Right by your side

I just wish you realized that
Before shutting me out
Like I should have realized
My alters ****** up

My alters are not me
Yet you jumble us up as one
I have no control
When I’m not the host

I’ve gotten so much better
At keeping them at bay
I just wish I learned to do it
Before it was too late

Cause now I stand here
All alone and bleeding
My heart split in two
Forever waiting for you

My love
My heart
My one and only
My soulmate

I have loved you since first sight
Love your laugh
Loved your smile
Loved your warm heart

With you by my side
I was able to fight the darkness
I was able to see light growing inside
I was able to breathe freely

But with you gone
I feel like I’m suffocating
My heart aches so badly
That I can’t take it anymore

I was able to see you again
One last time
And all I felt was pain
And guilt

I did this
I caused you to leave
I pushed you away so far
That you ran to the arms of another

And for that I can never forgive myself
The guilt hurts so much
I can’t breath
My body is attacking itself

My head is so full of thoughts
That I can’t make go away
I can’t live like this
With you no longer by my side

I love you so much
And I tried to be strong
But the longer I fight
The more pain I’m in

You wish me a good life
Thinking that I’m strong enough
But I hide my true intentions
So I don’t hurt you

I’m sorry
I should have fought my head harder
I should have shown you how much I cared
How much I loved you

But it’s too late
And I have lost
In both battles
Of the heart

I no longer have you
Who I loved so much I wanted to live
And I no longer have my will
To fight my never ending thoughts

So I forfeit the match
I have fought for as long as I could
This is the end for me
And the beginning for you

Tell me why
Why must I be the one that’s hurting
Why must I be the one in constant pain
Why must I never have happiness

Tell me why
Why must I always end up alone
Why must I always have my heart ripped out
Why must I always be broken

Tell me why
Why must I always be a burden
Why must I always be shoved aside
Why must I always be second and never first

Tell me why
I don’t understand at all
I do everything I can
To be the person you want me to be

Tell me why
Am I never going to be good enough
Will I ever get my chance
At a happily ever after

Tell me why
Why must I always endure
Why must I always shoulder this pain alone
Why must I be pushed down and stomped on

Tell me why
Why must everything be taken away
Why does it always have to be this way
Why can’t I be happy for once in my life

Tell me why
Why must I constantly live in fear
Why must I always cower and hide
I just want to know why me