CautiousRain

CautiousRain Mar 2019

Yes, does the mother bird sing
to her sleeping young.
Yes, does she wake them
each morning, with a full heart,
aware they may not make it,
and yet she sings with gusto.

She opens herself fully to her loved ones
because even if they pass,
even if they fly too short or plummet
from the well-kept nest,
it was always worth the morning song
and always were her children worthy of her love.

We need more familial love songs, it doesn't have to be romantic

#love #song #bird #mother #rambles #birds #sing #singing #songs

CautiousRain Mar 2019

Missed Connections

I dreamt that I saw you
barreling towards me in a sea of people,
and with your arm extended out
to touch me, pushing past me,
and you looked back
with bewildered eyes,
scared, confused,
but not knowing;
I only recognized you when I awoke,
and I'm sure
you'd never remember who I was.

Funny how you've already forgotten me
and how funny it is that I almost did too

#rambles #vent #venting #loss #missed #connection #dejavu #dream #dreaming

CautiousRain Mar 2019

Who

...Whose voice is that?

She likes to ask me this
when I finally lift my fingers up,
and sometimes I have to tell myself
I'm not quite sure anymore
but at least she's honest.

Do you ever just look at your writings or your artwork and you feel so detached from it you can barely feel that you made it?
Maybe it's dissociation, maybe it's not, either way, I'm feeling it.

#rambles #venting #vent #who #confusion #reflection #self

CautiousRain Mar 2019

About Time

I understand you,
you're like me,
waiting for something
good to happen for once,
hearing the clock tick away,
eating every minute of your life
and all you can think to yourself is,
"Why the hell am I still sitting here
waiting for the clock to keep ticking,
talking about how tired we are of being here?
**** this!"

You and I are one and the same,
we've got no more time to waste
in following orders;
isn't it about time we set ourselves free?

I'm in a weird place, but I see it in others now
That feeling of wanting something else

#rambles #vent #venting #time #reflection #change

CautiousRain Mar 2019

Actress

I walked into your life an actress,
putting on a show for you,
miming who I thought I was
with lifeless limbs exerting so much effort,
nearly hollow did I feel,
typecast, merely trying to not collapse in front of you
like a miserable cutscene signaled too quick;
yes, it is most unfortunate
you fell in love with an actress
playing a role she didn’t know how to keep.

oh god I don't know when I wrote this but um, it's something

#acting #discomfort #conflict #empty #rambles #vent #venting #rambling

CautiousRain Mar 2019

Overload

These turbulent smashes of a hammer
smacking down and cracking
through my hollowed ears
destroy my ability to breathe,
and continue to torment me as I walk;
I hear everything,
the sound of ever-impending weeping, wheezing,
or perhaps the sound of scrapes skidding
down my legs,
but nearly everything makes a sound
and it forever engulfs me;
I can't be in these spaces anymore,
even imaginary sounds puncture through.

oh this is old (January)
and also sensory overload is bad biscuits

#sensory #overload #rambles #venting #sound #overstimulated

CautiousRain Mar 2019

Faces

I know that face used to light up,
and I recognize that face here,
but I don’t know what to say,
cause I feel that face in my expressions
and I really thought it’d go away.

I am delighted and also frightened,
and I feel most ashamed
that after all this time,
our faces, some faces, these faces
look the same.

it's like life is on a loop
and somewhere I hear a faint, perpetual laugh track directed at me

#rambles #vent #venting #faces #deja #vu #reliving