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Aug 2021 · 530
Devilish ways
Your that black
smoke...

Puffing
into the
environment,

Making it
unhealthy.

Your
devilish
way,

Became
a dance with
life and death.

Drowning my
heart in your
BullSh*t.

Your devilish
ways became
a balancing
tight rope,

To not fall
to my demise
of playing russian
Roulette with
my life.

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to ©BSM

2021-8-1
Dark poetry
brokenhearted
Abuse emotional
abuse.
Aug 2021 · 1.7k
Nourish
Garden
and nourish
ourselves,

Cutting away
the weeds...

From our
hearts and
our life,

That's toxic
and threatening
to our peace
and health.

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to ©BSM

2021-8-1
Love yourself
heal and keep the
toxic out.
Aug 2021 · 1.3k
Jagged kiss
Jagged kiss
ripping my
heart open,

You ruined
that happy
home.

I am that
run away
bride,

That runs
from dating
commitment
and marriage.

I want
nothing
to do with
marriage.

Your that
jagged kiss
I run from.

I'm happy not
being controlled
living my life
in peace.

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to ©BSM

2021-8-1
No interest in
Marriage comment
dating abuse survivor
emotional abuse Survivor.
Aug 2021 · 677
Wallowing heart
Heart why
do you wallow,

Dancing with
broken tears
raging of
tornadoes🌪
agony.

In the
shadows of
the lonely
night.

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to ©BSM

2021-7-31
Pain of the
heart agony
I hope this lets
you know your
not alone
Aug 2021 · 348
Power gone wrong
You wanted
to control
everything...

Treating
beautiful
human
beings,

As your
property and
possession.

Crushing their
spirits to feel
powerful.

As if they
were a helpless
bird trapped in
a cage.

And now
you've lost
that power.

Because what
is ment to be
free cannot be
caged up.

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to ©BSM

2021-7-20
My sweet souls abuse can
be done to men and to woman it is on both
sides it happens.

So if she abused and hurt
you heal and know not all
woman are abusive and cruel like that,

And if he abused and hurt you heal knowing that not all men are abusive.

Save yourself
before you lose
your life.
Aug 2021 · 410
Difficult love
I was never
difficult to
love,

You just
couldn't accept
your scars and
wounds.

And you
couldn't accept
your mistakes
as your own.

So I was
difficult for
you to love
because you
couldn't love
you.

You couldn't
heal your,

Selfishness
hatred or past
pain you just
blamed me for
your scars.

So I was
never difficult
to love because
I would of did
anything for
you...

But being
with someone
I'm not killing
myself,

And feeling
trapped no I
won't do that
anymore.

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2021-7-20
Never change yourself
if they cannot accept
you move on walk
away that isn't love.
Aug 2021 · 352
Corpse bride
You would
of loved me,

If I was
your corpse
bride.

If I treated
you like Sh*t
as you did to
me.

You would
of loved me.

If I was as
dark and selfish
as you.

But I'm
not a corpse
and I'm not
selfish,

I'm too caring
and forgiving
and strong.

To be selfish
like you.

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to ©BSM

2021-7-20
Dark abuse
Emotional abuse
Abuse awareness
Aug 2021 · 146
Devils
The devil's
are the walking
dead,

The zombies
that feed off
our joy.

The devil's
are the dying
vessels inside.

The parasites
of the world
the monsters.

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to ©BSM

2021-7-30
Evil
devil's of the
World
Aug 2021 · 332
Played strings
You stroked
and played
me,

As drowning
teardrops choking
for air to breathe.

I was the strings
of your fiddle 🎻
to your games.

You played
me and stroked
my strings,

Making me
drown in
melancholic
teardrops.

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to ©BSM

2021-7-20
Dark poetry abuse
Emotional abuse heartache
Aug 2021 · 428
Melancholic music
I rarely
think of
you,

But
when I
do.

There's sounds
of melancholic
music.

That
moment
you were
drowning,

And choking
my soul to
death.

Trying to
**** me off.

All because
you couldn't
love yourself.

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to ©BSM

2021-7-20
Abuse surviver emotional
abuse survivor , abuse emotional abuse heartache.
Jul 2021 · 2.0k
Burn me
You burned
me with your,

Devilish eyes
of deceit
hoping to ruin
me...

You have
no power over
me for your
charms have
run out.

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to ©BSM

2021-7-6
Claim your freedom and
remember no one should have possession over you male or female regardless of their ***,

no one has a right to
claim you like a possession
that's not love so love
yourselves❤

For someone
that's struggling
to love themselves,


remember your
amazing your
beautiful your
handsome and
love yourself
always.


God
makes us as we are he doesn't make mistakes or scrapes and never compare
yourself to another that's
disrespecting yourself your
an amazing person look
inside and you will see
once you get past the hurt
there's someone amazing
inside you.

Remember your beautiful
handsome and beautiful is your soul your humor
personality poetry
everything about
you.

Make a list of
what you love
and don't love
about yourself
but remember
God looks at your
heart not your
looks because kindness
and love is beautiful
and attractive just be
around ones that support
you encourage you inspire
you not put you down remove the toxic from
your life believe me
I know I've been there.
Jun 2021 · 295
Bookshelves
Dust off the
bookshelves,

You may
Just fall in
love all over
again.

Oh darling
I'm not talking
about a man
I'm talking
about books.

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and Copyright
belongs
to©BSM

2021-6-17
Love of books
Jun 2021 · 786
Weeping night
Why does the
night seem so
melancholic,

And lonely
as if she's
weeping or
is that me?

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to ©BSM

2021-5-23
I feeling a friends
Hurt she was really depressed but we talked
and she's well and
I have many more from
feeling her pain as
we are very connected
my soul sister  we understand each other very well as I've had my moments of dark days and sadness
and depression it's not
fun.


I now know it
was a friend but
I said this as well,

It could be me and I
also could be feeling
someone I care for
sadness it's happened
before.
Jun 2021 · 160
Dying eyes
Nervous lips
dying eyes,

Full happy
skies drinking
up your plight
tears.

Bleakness in
these sleepy
nights,

Such loneliness
and sadness in
their quietness.

Bring back
that passion
sleeping in
the clouds,

Dancing with
Plight and  
melancholy
pain...

Trying to
make those
gray lullabies
smile again.

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to ©BSM

2021-5-23
I feeling a friends
Hurt she was really depressed but we talked
and she's well and
I have many more from
feeling her pain as
we are very connected
my soul sister we understand each other very well as
I've had my moments of
dark days and sadness
and depression it's not
fun.
Jun 2021 · 1.6k
Tipsy horizons
Melancholy  
horizons of
dimness.

Tipsy light
touching golden
Kisses in the
Sky.

Sunsets
drooping
with bleeding
teardrops.

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to ©BSM

2o21-5-23
I feeling a friends
Hurt she was really depressed but we talked
and she's well and
I have many more from
feeling her pain as
we are very connected
my soul sister  we understand each other very well as I've had my moments of dark days and sadness
and depression it's not
fun.
Jun 2021 · 659
If i could
If I could
be a balloon🎈

I would fly
with my happy
thoughts.

I would
touch the
skies,

And the
mountains
tops across
the globe.

If I could
be a balloon,

Yellow as
the sunshine as the fluttering fields of butterflies.


Frolicking and
hopping upon
the currents
of the warm
wind.

If I could
be a balloon,

I would be
yellow like a
sunflower.

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to ©BSM

5-23-21
Happy carefree
Poem of being a yellow
balloon of happy thoughts and I hope it helps others
struggling with anything
negative in life because
we all have our bad days
and depressed sad tired
days but remember you
matter and your loved
and your worthy to be
loved but love yourself
first as I love myself and
God and family and it took
a long time to love me.
Jun 2021 · 2.4k
Prince in the clouds
The most
Beautiful
girl in the
world...

Is watching
her Prince
dance in the
clouds,

With Christopher
Tracy and the april
snow.

We are smiling
because today
Is a happy day
to dance and listen
to Prince music.

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Copyright belongs
to ©BMS  

2021-6-7
I am beautiful
and I love myself
but the most beautiful
girl in the world in
that song was Mayte
Garcia to Prince

But he wrote
it to uplift other
woman as well but
this is Mayte looking
at her Prince.

Happy birthday
Prince June 7 1958
He would of
been 62 Today
Jun 2021 · 1.7k
Mood purple
If today
had a mood
It would be
purple,

Pulling
up clouds of
Prince songs,

Wearing a
beret of tear
drops in his
honor.

If today
had a mood it
would bleed
a mix of
purple.

On this day Our purple
Prince our Jamie star
our Christopher Tracy,

He is our
moonbeam streaking across the clouds as diamonds and Pearls.

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to ©BSM

2021-6-7
Happy birthday
Prince June 7
1958 / if he was alive
he would be 62 years
Old today.

And yes I am
a prince fan I've
written many
poems for his
birthday and
day he left us
May 2021 · 367
Do you?
Do you
ever feel,

Life is
this huge
tidal wave
wave...

That sometimes
wants to drawn
you throwing
you around
testing you.

It feels like
your under
water some
days.

My air seems
to be God nature
classical music
writing praying,

And the storm
calms when God
grabs the wheel
when it's all
surrendered to
him.

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to ©BSM

2021-5-18
Getting through
the storms of life
May 2021 · 536
The world
The world
won't see
beautiful
as we do.

Unique
different
strange weird
eccentric,

All beautiful
don't take it
as a bad thing.

If your
different
never change
be you.

The world
is selfish and
they see beauty
as perfect not
different.

Look in the
mirror you are
beautiful and
your handsome
love yourself.

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to ©BSM

5-22-21
Love your
flaws love your
beautiful and
handsome self.
May 2021 · 157
Labyrinth maze
Do you
ever feel...

Your pain
is confusing
jumbled up,

Thoughts of
mazes of a
Labyrinth.

A frightening maze
of screaming Asylums
mixed with melancholy
sadness.

But I am
quite sane you
see but us poets
are all mad with
inspiration.

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to ©BSM

5-22-21
Poets writers
Insane inspiration
May 2021 · 262
Sky nature
Poetic skies
call me.

Nature pulls
me in dressing
my heart in Joy.


Photography intrigues me giving me peace.

droopy clouds
cry with my
sad heart,

So on quiet
rainy days
I focus on
nature.

There's days
that love makes
me sad and days
it doesn't.

Nature seems
to give me peace,

Because I
see God in it's
beauty of his
workmanship.

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to ©BSM

5-22-21
There maybe
a little hidden sadness
in these words it's very
true I am healing and
it may take as long as
I need to heal because
I am dealing with my
own personal hurt
and anxiety from
things in my life
and writing helps
me heal

An artist photographer
female Poet lover of art
God nature animals
We remember another

sad day many

lost loved ones.







May they rest in peace

love and prayers go out

to the families.




My son was only

1 years old when

the twin towers fell

and many lives were lost.




We still sit and cry

for that solider that

never said goodbye to

his little girl.




We grieve today

for those lives that were lost.










So tell those you love

what they mean to you

and hold them dear you

never know when they will

get called home.










So we cry for the

tragic 9/11 when the

twin towers fell and lives

were lost.







There will be a time

that there will be no

more pain,




Our and  tears will

be dried.







So today we thank the

Soldiers and ones

on this 9/11 day.










May the LORD be with

your loved ones always.




We carry this  pain

on this tragic day 9/11.

© 2014 Benita
Staebell McCartney
such a sad and Tragic time I still cry over this my son was only 1 years old when the towers fell so he doesn't know we speak to him about it.

To remember 9/11
May 2021 · 746
Grieving me
All along I
was grieving
me,

I thought
I was grieving
our love.

I was trying
to find me

But I am
still healing
because of
the abuse,

I'm still
terrified
of marriage

I'm
terrified
of being
controlled.

I'm terrified
of life some
days,

So lately old
wounds have
resurfaced.

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to ©BSM

5-21-21
I thought I
was healed from
these wounds.

I do want to heal
from this because it
still scares me as
it's hard for me to
trust.

I still feel trapped
in a cage in marriage
I know it's the bad I
went through it scares
me and it's normal to
feel that way.

Marriage isn't
supposed to
feel like your
trapped at all.

Keep me in your
prayers and others
like me that struggle
with this today because the struggle is real.

Healing trapped
still healing marriage
terrifies me because
it wasn't a marriage
it was control and
abuse emotional
abuse I write to
heal.
May 2021 · 305
Hearts talk
Broken
hearts
speak,

The same
language.

Even if
they're healed,

There's still
some battered
up debris left
in their hearts.

We
hearts talk
understanding
hurt.

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to ©BSM

2021-5-18
Broken Hearts
speak the same
Language they
understand pain.
Feb 2020 · 166
I love you coffee ☕
I'm in a relationship
with coffee ☕  

He's the strong silent
type always listens.

Trying to make
me feel better,

With his warm
morning smell
when the sunrises.

He has a strong
scent of grounds
that wake up your
senses.

Morning talks
of peace  always
clam me down,

When I smell his
warm soothing brew.

I love you
Coffee ☕ and
I hope to never
leave thee.

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Copyright belongs to
©Benita-Staebell-M

2020February12
I love and I'm in a relationship with coffee ☕
Feb 2020 · 239
Stop Abuse
Hate tries
to pretend
to be love,

That's what
we call blind
love that isn't
love at all.

I was the one
that didn't leave,

Many said it
wasn't abuse but
it was...

When he cusses
you out puts you
down belittling
you

Makes jokes
that are meant
as bullying and
says I'm joking,

This is hatred
bullying emotional
abuse.

When he tells
you that nothing
you do is right...

When he blames you for
all his faults and never
takes responsibility.

And he makes
one think he's done
nothing wrong that
you're the abuser,

This is emotional
abuse of a narcissist
he never loved you
run.

Scars of emotional
abuse are hidden inside
of you,

He tries to
destroy you
as a person,

It's survival of
the fittest and
healing of your
soul and mind.

Never accept abuse
bullying hatred or
domestic violence,

Fight for your life
and leave no matter
how scary it is.

Because it could
be your last breath
you breathe on earth.

Be a Advocate
for emotional abuse
domestic violence
and all bullying,

Stop the violence
Stop the hatred of
abuse on women
children and everyone.

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Copyright belongs to
©Benita-Staebell-M

2020February12

Someday I'm going
to be an Advocate
for emotional abuse
for others that were
blind to what love
isn't

And abuse isn't
Love and loved ones
don't want to destroy
us ones that truly
care won't, not even
real friends
I'm a survivor of Emotional abuse
and I write to help others that maybe
experiencing it and I some day will
be a positive Advocate for emotional
abuse for women men and children.
Mar 2019 · 195
Indian oceans
She walks
with Indian
oceans,

Walking upon
streets of noisy
echoes.

She walks upon
flaming gowns
of morning Sun

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Copyright belongs to
©Benita-Staebell-M

2019March20
Inspired by a beautiful
picture of Indian shoes
and her walking.
Jun 2017 · 300
Poetry pocket
Poetry becomes
a pocket of pain

Catching my
tear drops,

Storing them
in a memory
of etched notes.

Sunshine doesn't
follow me..

With my scares
that are healing,

Help Jesus
me to escape

From these
drowning
droplets,

They're beads
of soft falling pearls.

Pockets of poetry
cups of gray clouds.

Copyright belongs to
© Benita-Staebell-M.

Written June 10 2017
Spilling my pain
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