but eventually, all the metaphors fall apart
and come to nothing
like paper dissolving in water
fanciful words dissolving with it
and without romanticized phrases
and rose-tinted writings
there is only unembellished truth

Waking up to a heavy chest
My body begging me to sleep again
And my anxiety begins the second I realize I'm alive
I'm trying to learn to function
With all of this negative energy inside me
I know it'll pass and
I know it'll get better
But right now it hurts
I feel unloved
Unloveable
I feel lost inside myself
A place I can't stay too long
Before I lose my mind
I can tell myself I'm worth it and
That my worth isn't defined by others
And it works for a bit
Until something else comes up and
My heart loses its energy
And I either feel like giving up
Or ready to fight everyone

I have a hard time writing about anger because ...

Anger is just sadness in a lower octave
Anger is a knot between the shoulder blades
Anger is a loud voice in an even louder room
Anger is a distant daydream gaze
Anger is a fire sustained by silence
Anger is hearing your voice in another body
Anger sounds a lot like "Sorry, I've been busy"
Anger is realizing busy really means uninterested
Anger is thinking you are in charge of your reaction
Anger is knowing you're a breath from bursting
Anger is breathing shallow to hide the shake
Anger is saying things you don't mean
Anger is not saying things you do mean
Anger is a fickle thing
Anger is just heartbreak wearing a cowards face

Leaves dart and dance like my heart beats
Slowly fluttering into life for brief, mad escapes
Before resting again, only alive when nobody is watching
Fading light spills over my face like a nervous waiter
And that's okay

Sadness has a taste,
It's bittersweet, a soft bite,
It makes you crave more.

You are the first thing I need
When I wake up,

To cure the sleep that
Hangs from my eyes
And takes shelter in my bones,

To feel the warmth of your embrace
Soothe the soul,
Each sip better than the last,
Drink you in until there's nothing left.

When the cup is empty,
The insatiable urge resides,
Energy is restored
And I will face the day knowing
That you will be there again tomorrow.