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Feb 2020 · 105
Morning Person
B Feb 2020
I am not a morning person
But I hold fondness for early birds
I love the idea of living in the city
But I also kind of dont
On one hand you have traffic and parking
And on the other, walking and watching

I commute by train in the mornings
I early bird watch the people passing by
Listening to podcasts of her breakfast cereals as I go
At 7:30 I take the B train to her jawline
Before catching the A train cross town to her smile
By 8:15 I wait behind her tongue for her to sing the early bird song of speaking only to me

Speaking only to me, being the only time I feel worth speaking back
Speaking back, I say we should do this again tomorrow
Tomorrow we will walk, and we will watch
Watch as people hustle bustle hurry home
Home is wherever it is that we may be
B train, I must go, I will return in the morning
Feb 2020 · 109
First Flame
B Feb 2020
There must always be a first flame - the initial kindling
The first twig to sing the song of burning
The summer dry oak tree origin of all subsequent ember
Call me ashdancer, smokeshaper
For I sing the tongue of spontaneous combustion
Unbridled and indiscriminate consumption
Your words are lightning to my August grass hill
And I hope to learn to love the purge of the burn
I hope to learn to love
Jan 2020 · 111
Hello Honeybee
B Jan 2020
If you asked me to describe how I know God answers prayers
I would point you in the direction of honeybees

Because nobody so unassuming, with so monumental an impact, can come from any source other than divine

For is it not the place of the bee to buzz by plants and people, taking pieces of each to the next?

I see the still pollinated goodbyes of every former flower in your honeybee helloes

And honey, if your hello is an answered prayer, consider me cross contaminated

It is not until your petals have gone without pollen that you appreciate the sweet nectar of their presence

Hello honeybee

Stay as long as you need, then perhaps a little longer
B Jan 2020
I have an off-again, on-again relationship with permanence

Even so, I have been party to many pictures in my lifetime

Each thousand word tattoo, a spur of the moment snapshot, scrawled across my skin

Your thousand words looks a lot like wearing a red stuffed octopus named Richie on your head like a hat

The Cowboy and the Cephalopod both agreed this frame wasn't big enough for the both of them, so they agreed to compromise

I laugh imagining the world in which you are a marine biologist by day, and a hair stylist by night

I laugh imagining the world in which the words 'you' and 'permanent' are among the thousand on each hand
Dec 2019 · 126
The Still White
B Dec 2019
I like to play a game of tick tack toes in your too small snow shoes

You like to play a game where you pretend not to love it

I like to pretend like we dont know how to turn these couch cushions into Schrodinger's box

You and I together - at once both alive to each other and dead to the world

Snowflakes and eyelids both fall softly as we re-watch, for the third time, your favorite sitcom

Your fingers sign syllables with mine that we have a long season ahead of us
Dec 2019 · 127
On Love, And Other Words
B Dec 2019
You stupid, stubborn boy
You thin lipped, thick skinned, too tall trouble maker
You brain broken record, record, record romantic
You can not live between the lines of her words

Just because vowels and vegetables both start with v, doesn't mean that she is healthy for you

Just because you know how to read her hieroglyphs, doesn't mean that they were meant for you

You can not chase the shape of her echoes into the person you want her to be, like some rosy cheeked run on given a pulse

A pulse, a tick, a drum, a beating

Self administered prescriptions, trying to find her commas in the pauses of others peoples punchlines

Let yourself cool off from the shade of the period that is her loving somebody else

Let yourself know that love is just a word, and twisting words into something beautiful is all you know that you are good at
B Dec 2019
Looks a lot like four walls and a bed
Sounds a lot like get out of my head
Three word prompt. Place, time, emotion. 20 word limit.
B Dec 2019
I shiver in the streetlight of my final now.

Right now, simultaneously being the last time I wait to sleep,
And the first time I fear its arrival.

It is not that I fear being forgotten.
It is that I fear never doing something worth remembering.

A deathbed is too fragile for the hard truth that the last door closed to me will be my casket.

The streetlight flickers.

Peace with this last present is a timeless question,
And I have given it pieces of me I have yet to give myself.

The streetlight flickers.

It will have to be enough.
Three word prompt. Place, time, emotion.
Dec 2019 · 80
What Does It Mean
B Dec 2019
And what does it mean when the rush of the fall comes with the acceptance that you could - and probably will - crash, but you leap regardless?

And what does it mean when her silence is the second loudest sound after your heartbeat?

And what does it mean when you realize you've never dreamt of having one?

And what does it mean when you have the same dream again and again with different faces?

And what does it mean when her face is the form, and the form is the dream?

And what does it mean when you realize hers is just the latest to fill the form?

And what does it mean when you wish the hurt of the dream over the truth of the day?
Dec 2019 · 128
This Is The Way
B Dec 2019
I have stared long enough at my ceiling that I confuse it with the back of my eyelids

I have named each of the tree branch textured constellations found there

My point is, I do not know how to talk about the rabbit hole without tumbling down it

If there were any paint left to dry, the blanks fired from my eyes would make for the most curious graffiti

The word restless comes to mind, but it erroneously implies that being asleep is the same thing as feeling comfortable when alone

I have fallen deep into the back of my head

My eyes, a distant stained glass window, casting the rainbow bridge back to where I need to be

This is the way
Nov 2019 · 73
Cricket Ticks
B Nov 2019
I got the cricket ticks and lip licks.
The toe taps, arms stretch, feelin' sick.

Shaking leaves from the spine, butterflies.
Figure skatin', occipital, barely making eyes.

Shortsighted. A quick flick assessment.
First contact: Human. Nervous. Got the scent.

Quick quips. Heartbeat backflips. Got a smile.
Keys out, locked in. Gonna be here a while.

Knots released, check the shoes, still tied.
Second contact: Side-eyed. Open sky wide.

Comfortable. Swappin' pictures, open air.
This here is base camp. Light the flare.

Light retreating. Sun is dipping.
Soda empty, but still sipping.

Steady handed, still footed, defiant
Listen for the cricket ticks,

B Nov 2019
I would follow you to the ends of the earth
Mostly because I have no choice

I would drape unapologetic in the dark of the dance floor as you held your first taste of testosterone

That clammy hand costume with buttons too big to blame your fumbles on anything else

I would soak your sunlight and take none for myself, growing as big, and tall, and brave as you do

Mother said milk makes for strong bones
Strong bones make for easy outlines, like, look at me
Take my picture and remember you left a mark
Nov 2019 · 79
B Nov 2019
Joy died today.
That was the name of my grandma
- Is the name of my grandma
I'm not sure which tense to use

Her name, a homemade bread, sticks sweet to the tongue

Her personality, an open palmed hug to the child's name she cant remember anymore.

Her life, a monument to what it means to be kind and to be good

She does not own her name anymore

It has been given to the warm bread
It has been gifted to grandchildren
It has been remembered by those who remain

It has been remembered

Joy still lives, just, in other ways.
To Joy, wherever you now are.
Nov 2019 · 102
Game Of Hypotheses
B Nov 2019
I play a game of hypotheses.
I am winning.

The star speckled ceiling asks,
"How will you know?"

I answer,
"Her grocery lists will win Pulitzers - a novel I can't help but read in one sitting."

The constellation laughs uneasily, knowing that it will move before I do.

The tree topped curtain creaks,
"What will you say?"

I answer,
"Too much, never enough, probably both - your mystery is the only one worth solving."

The canopy bristles. I do not know what to make of it.

I play a game of hypotheses.
I await the next question.
B Nov 2019
This is the way I deal with it
The venom between the lungs which sinister stirs on the shortened breath of shaky self-esteem
The poetic palpitation pleading please write your wrongs before they putrefy
This is the way I deal with it
It is when words dry up that the ink bleeds
Dance around your feelings, call it a campfire
Let others at least roast with the remnants of yours
This is the way I deal with it
For some it is to light the fire
For others, to follow the smoke
Nov 2019 · 52
Car - Night - Curiosity
B Nov 2019
Evening skies trickle out the tailpipes of the cars navigating freeways
Painting the air in deepening hues of curiosity made color

What if I just keep driving?
How far will I make it?

Night slips in the back door, as Day exits the front
I can not see beyond a hundred feet
I do not remember the next curve of road
I am not sure where I am going

But do I need to be?
Three word prompt. Place, time, emotion.
B Nov 2019
Autumn coolly glides on the coat tails of whistled winds and trees shedding summer coats
She says she doesn't like peanut butter
Unaware of the basket of PB&J lying on the table
Does she change colors too?
Three word prompt. Place, time, emotion.
Nov 2019 · 107
Graveyard - Midnight - Joy
B Nov 2019
Tombstones tell tall tales if you know how to listen
Stories marked by the ignorance of 'death is not here for me yet'
Billboards of birth and final breath
Anything exists in the hyphen
The too long but never long enough pause before the end
Three word prompt. Place, time, emotion.
May 2018 · 333
B May 2018
When you've got a brain like mine
It holds onto your words like life rafts
Adrift on a sleepless sea for weeks at a time
They swirl and fester in black ink cauldrons
Double double all the toil and most the trouble
The fire still burns amidst the rubble
May 2018 · 167
[10W] Home
B May 2018
Love makes a home in the hurt of the heart
May 2018 · 148
B May 2018
Birds chirp outside my window
I guess it is morning now
What was once the call of dawn
Is now the daunt of dusk
May 2018 · 178
[10W] Tongue
B May 2018
The unspoken hurt holds heavy
On my tired timid tongue
Apr 2018 · 242
B Apr 2018
I hate this feeling.
This wake up from a good dream in a bad mood feeling.
This you'll never be better than the foot you shot yourself in feeling.
This gnawing loneliness, teased by your brain feeling.
This dream and reality are as far apart as your imagination and your imagination is nothing if not endless feeling.
This ruins the day before it even begins feeling.
This if I knew how to cry I'm afraid of what the waterworks might give life to feeling.
This silent, silken feeling.
I hate this feeling.
Apr 2018 · 147
B Apr 2018
I dream about how we would conquer jungle gyms and grocery stores.
Anything, an adventure in how not to grow up and instead grow in.
It hurts to wake.
Apr 2018 · 130
Wordless Ways
B Apr 2018
You will want to tell her everything
And you will
But it will be in wordless ways
Passing by, just below the surface
Shallow enough to be just audible
Deep enough to be confused for something else
Faint enough to live in the time between blinks
Real enough, but never quite real enough
Apr 2018 · 130
[10W] Stories
B Apr 2018
You tell stories of your past. Am I yet one?
Apr 2018 · 154
[10W] Firsts and Lasts
B Apr 2018
Our visit to your playground makes children of us both
Apr 2018 · 124
Haiku #11
B Apr 2018
Or maybe an infection
I am stuck on you
Apr 2018 · 120
Haiku #10
B Apr 2018
If you should love me
You will learn the meaning of
What it is to live
Apr 2018 · 137
Yours and Mine
B Apr 2018
People are composed of little bits we can not do not see
Bits in baskets handed out, these are the bits that make up me
I don't know what you'll do with em, but I want to trust
Mine in exchange for yours, my stardust for your stardust
A fair and even trade, an open sentence plea
Please be good to the parts you can not do not see
Apr 2018 · 150
Haiku #9
B Apr 2018
You were a moon once
Tidal force your specialty
You have since gone dark
Apr 2018 · 444
To The God Of Feathers
B Apr 2018
Dear god of feathers,

Father to flight
Cousin to pillows
Step-father to sneezes
Brother to quills
Other brother to bad poetry
Godfather to just going with it
And weird uncle to Icarus
It is to you that I direct this prayer

First of all, how dare you
How dare you give flight to a bird with a brain smaller than its eyeball and not to me
How dare you fill my pillow with stuffing that is somehow hot on both sides. How does that even work?
How dare you tickle my heartstrings long enough to make me watery eyed but not long enough to make me sneeze
Letting me love somebody who - wait, no, sorry. I'm getting ahead of myself
I'll start over, because unlike your pillows, I know how to keep my cool

Here is what I really wanted to say, oh god of feathers
Thank you for inked quills. Even if you bully me with your beauty, at least you give me an out
Thank you for reminding me that bad poetry and just going with it are really just the same thing
Thank you for Icarus, who fell from the sky believing 'soaring' and 'human' deserved to be used in the same sentence
I won't pretend to know what it is like to be you
Though, I know what it feels like when you're present

It is true that I will never be able to take to the heavens
But I have known love, and that gets pretty close

By the way, peacocks are crazy

B Apr 2018
In the city that never sleeps
It is rare to find a place of rest
Green tree sways, sun sky sweeps
Bird bench beat in a concrete chest
For it is my big apple alibi
To learn to love the passersby
Three word prompt. Place, time, emotion.
Apr 2018 · 115
B Apr 2018
I lie awake having conversations in my head that will never happen
Weeks of practice - winning the most absurd arguments
About how much better old cartoons are compared to new ones
About what I would say if I was ever in a rap battle
About why I care about you so much
About when I will next make you laugh
About how I can't say any of this

You asked about my past, asking about the 'real me'
Beyond the security blanket called humor I drape myself in
And I wanted so badly to tell you my story
I'd practiced every tangent it could have taken
We stood, however briefly, before the abyss of admission
It dared me to leap and I laughed

For it was, of all things, the fear of getting ahead of myself that kept me from moving
Do not confuse the adrenaline of the jump with that of the quickened heart of unspoken love
Do not wield your words like cannons ready to fire at the first opportunity
Remember, that is the lesson you have learned

You asked about my past
I said, "Yes. I have known heartbreak, loneliness and loss, but I will do everything that I can so you do not."
And it was the truth
Well, the most important one
Apr 2018 · 197
Walmart - Midnight - Sad
B Apr 2018
The saying goes: airports and funerals see the saddest people
The saddest people are those at Walmart at midnight
Dressed in the lazy pajamas of tomorrow morning
And baggy eyed in the missed responsibilities of today
Being at Walmart at midnight is like going to church on Tuesday
Your timing was a little off, but at least you tried
Aisles full of 'clearances' and 'don't look at me's'
(but also please acknowledge my existence)
And then I realize that I am at Walmart at midnight
I am sad. But I am not cat-food-road-map-cart sad
So, I got that going for me
Three word prompt. Place, time, emotion.
Apr 2018 · 981
Haiku #8
B Apr 2018
Think I'm bulletproof
A thick skin and paper heart
But, I'm the reverse
Apr 2018 · 158
[6W] Daydream
B Apr 2018
I daydream about seeing your bedhead
Apr 2018 · 182
Curious Fear
B Apr 2018
The thing I hate the most about anxiety
Is its ability to turn anything into a weapon
Haunted house attraction. Hall of mirrors.
Warping what you see into something else
That curious fear in being aware of the fact
What's in front of you is not real
But looking on anyway
Apr 2018 · 150
On Those Like Me
B Apr 2018
You walk like a doomsday bunker grew feet
Climbed into your clothes like a hazmat suit
Deciding to brave that scary thing called outside

You talk like a river shapes rock
Repeating the same set of words
Until they feel smooth in the mouth

You write like your ink is honey
Savored by those few you share it with
Because they don't care where it comes from
Apr 2018 · 159
B Apr 2018
Happiness is a hummingbird we define our value by the ability to hold onto
Swallowed whole, stored in between the bars of your rib cage
You hold happiness like "Watch me fly"
But no amount of sugar water words can keep it down
It was never yours to take
Apr 2018 · 5.3k
B Apr 2018
I have a hard time writing about anger because ...

Anger is just sadness in a lower octave
Anger is a knot between the shoulder blades
Anger is a loud voice in an even louder room
Anger is a distant daydream gaze
Anger is a fire sustained by silence
Anger is hearing your voice in another body
Anger sounds a lot like "Sorry, I've been busy"
Anger is realizing busy really means uninterested
Anger is thinking you are in charge of your reaction
Anger is knowing you're a breath from bursting
Anger is breathing shallow to hide the shake
Anger is saying things you don't mean
Anger is not saying things you do mean
Anger is a fickle thing
Anger is just heartbreak wearing a cowards face
Apr 2018 · 173
Sunset - Park - Contentment
B Apr 2018
Leaves dart and dance like my heart beats
Slowly fluttering into life for brief, mad escapes
Before resting again, only alive when nobody is watching
Fading light spills over my face like a nervous waiter
And that's okay
Apr 2018 · 176
Origin Story
B Apr 2018
Look, I'm not saying we have to get married
But maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing if we did
All im saying is, we live in an age of marvels
When super heroes dominate silver screens and cell phones alike
And everybody knows by now, a super hero needs a good origin story
And we would make a good origin story
I mean, really think about it for a minute here
I'm an alien person from another planet
And you're the greatest this one offers
I was struck by lightning and got super powers
And you're the reason why. You're the lightning.
I fell backwards into a vat of dangerous chemicals
You fished me out by my shoelaces and hung me on your clothesline smile
Galactus, world-eater, I swallowed my feelings whole like planets
And you had the courage to tell me to go on a diet
Which is to say, I talked about my feelings and you only laughed three times
Which is to say, I told you that vat of chemicals was actually my brain and you didn't laugh at all
Which is to say, my super vision failed to foresee your arrival
Don't be mistaken, this isn't a love poem, more like a list
1. You can trust me with your secret identity, the one nobody else knows about
2. My super villains aren't actually real people
3. But if they were they'd kidnap me to get to you instead
4. Whosoever holds this hammer, if she be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor
4a. And you're definitely worthy
4b. No really you are
4c. Please notice me
5. I'd be good to you
BANG! BOOM! POW! I wear it like a speech bubble headband
Like each of us, our origin story would be a little... off-brand
So, I'm not saying we have to get married
But maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing if we did
Apr 2018 · 150
The World Is Ending
B Apr 2018
If nothing else, take comfort in the rhyme
"The world is ending", was said the last time
Apr 2018 · 121
B Apr 2018
The rain creates syllables on my windshield
That my tongue doesn't know the shape of
Apr 2018 · 144
10 Truths
B Apr 2018
In my life I have learned 10 important truths:

1. You can't trust anybody that likes Nickelback because if they willfully listen to bad music you don't know what other bad life choices they will make

2. If a girl starts a conversation with "I just think its funny how..." you are about to die. I hope you have an eject button or a eulogy prepared, but preferably both

3. If a boy tells you he wants you to meet his family, he is definitely in love with you

4. You're going to experience heartbreak that hurts so bad you can't even get crying right. But just because you're hurt doesn't mean you're a victim and hurting others doesn't make you right

5. Never go to a wedding alone

6. White chocolate is just chocolate that got cold feet about being edible

7. Definitely eat that piece of pie because treat yoself

8. Definitely regret that whole pie later so then you have to treat yourself

9. Realize you are going to be okay

10. Write a really bad poem about it all
Apr 2018 · 95
B Apr 2018
Isn't love just a merry-go-round?
That old carnival staple in the center of the lot
Where the operator packs on too many people, turns it up too fast, and then gets mad when you throw up on the ride?
Every time you see one, its comprised of little kids and old people
She gets to ride the pony, because ponies are for girls
You get to ride the bear, because she took the pony
Both of you agree to take it slow at first
Take in all the flashing lights and the deep fried aroma
Until one of you decides your arms don't need to stay in your vehicle anymore
Two celestial bodies pulled closer together by that unseen thing called gravity
The world spins faster when you're with them
Time moves quicker when you're together
If time travel were possible this must be how its done
But sooner or later it becomes less merry, and more go-round
Round and round it goes, when it stops, nobody knows
Apr 2018 · 312
About Me
B Apr 2018
I was born on the twelfth day of the year
Just in time to be the last disciple but not soon enough that you'll remember my name
I'm the third of four children
Which is to say, I'm 75% sure that I know what I'm doing
I prefer even numbers and odd people
My ideal date is public people watching
Because if two people can unwrite a strangers life story then maybe they can use that to write their own
I'm an extremely picky eater
The only green things I like are cucumbers and money
And I'm far pickier than my personality permits
I've been told I'm quiet
But I'm the kind of quiet you should be afraid of
The kind of quiet that is observant enough to unmake you
The kind of quiet that does so to himself
I've got a poker face you wouldn't believe because I don't always either
I keep my cards close to the chest, sometimes too close to read
I believe that the best people tell the worst jokes
So you'll understand when I tell you that I only wear black ankle cut socks, gray if I'm feeling frisky
My best dream is finding someone to be alone with
My worst nightmare is that I never do
I was born a dozen days into 1996
Like being the last donut in the box and make no mistake I'm a sweet treat you'll have trouble working off
I guess what I'm saying is: my name is Braden
Will you remember that?
Mar 2018 · 171
The Anatomy Of Almosts
B Mar 2018
The weight of almost thoughts sink my legs into the Earth

While the almost words balloon red in my cheeks and ears

Because this ****** Doo quicksand ***** at my torso but not any more than my desire to go under

I'm going to a doctor soon, or a counselor, or a friendly stranger, or whatever, and I worry about the verdict to be passed over my head

Like the pills they prescribe will meet in combat the almost thoughts that turn my brain to a battlefield that just wants to go home but already is

Like my serotonin vocal cords that softly saunter siren songs should be given a megaphone to tell all the almost words that their echo chambers just got nuked from orbit

The fingers that send daily update texts are the same ones that want to let go of the steering wheel, not because I want to die, but because I don't want to be the one responsible for hurting you

So I'll bludgeon the sand with my two left feet until I turn it into enough glass to build a shade-stained stairwell back into my regularly scheduled programming

"I'm not there yet", I say
"Ah, but almost", I think
Mar 2018 · 144
B Mar 2018
I met you
I loved you
I left you
(Or, more accurately, you left me)

But if the devil is in the details
And a picture is worth a thousand words
Then I've got enough reasons to say

I met you
I loved you
I left you
I don't know where this came from
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