he likes to creep into her mind and possess every thoughts she has ,
before she could do anything , he is running in her veins ,
He is her sky , moon ,sun and the rain ..
the mere thought of losing him leaves tears on her pillow case

lost they used to be , in each other they found themselves
they fit in together like the missing pieces of the same puzzle (to be continued..)

Last week, you saw the sun bleed itself on the empty sky and give rise to a million stars. And you thought of her. Absent mindedly, you touched your wedding ring loosely wrapped around your finger. You sipped your coffee and wondered what was it that made the sun and moon rise and set? You envied how oblivious they remained to the suffering of this world. A couple of more sips led you to think how your life has pretty much been like them too, spinning uncontrollably, not listening to your suggestions or demands. Till you found her. And suddenly your universe had a focal. Last few months had been tough.
It has been like two ghosts living in a house, unaware of each others presence. You missed her, you wanted to hug her, and hold her till she found her way back to you.
But every time you tried to talk to her, she would break down and then fade off. It was like there was an invisible wall growing in between you two and you did not know how to cross it. Not without her opening the door and letting you in.
It has been 4 months since the test came positive. The doctor said it was the last stage of cancer. And that they were sorry. They had been having a fight over room renovation when they got the call. They were to visit the doctor asap.
Elisabeth could not believe it. It would be easier to take it in had Michael not gone numb. At first, he thought it was a joke. A cruel one. But after half an hour of arguing and no camera person coming to tell them "you have been pranked" he had to give in.
The drive to home was quiet. Neither knew what to say. Unlike the movie scenes, there were no emotional dialogues or crying. There was just a quiet all over the place.
Since neither of them felt like  eating, they went to bed.
Elisabeth had her back turned to Michael, but after a hour two, she was clutching to Michael for the life of her, sobbing madly.
And seeing her cry made him break down as well. He had never cried in all his adult life. And together they sobbed. That night was the last conversation they had. Elisabeth asked Michael to move on. But this act of bravery could not last for long and in between her muffled sobs, she asked to save her, he said he did not know how. And she had looked up in his eyes and said never forget me. And with her head on his chest, her consciousness had finally drifted to faroff place. She would occasionally mutter something in her sleep and shiver and hold on to him closer. He was her safe haven and he knew it. He wished he could save her, but he did not know how to.

The qualms of morning seemed so silly now. It is so tragic how we let the little things take away from us the greater moments. We think we have enough time. And that is the thing, we never know that the kiss we had would be our last.
So i m writing this to let you know there is nothing you would regret more than not being able to show your love while you still had the chance to.
Let your partner know you love her, take her on a long drive, send her unexpected flowers. Smile at strangers. Listen to your grandparents. And send love letters to your parents
While you still have the chance to do it. I don't.

And now that I think about it, I regret how I let those little things take away from me, the happiness I could have given her and the memories with whom I'll have to live my life

One by one,
The words abandoned
But the pain never did.
One by one,
The days passed,
But the longings never diminished

Moments after moments
I died,
But my love for you lived
Rejections after rejections
Gave wings to my motivation
They landed some place afar from here

Nights after nights dawned
But the nightmares continued to last
Long after I had opened my eyes
Preacher after preachers
Gave their doctrines,
I was repulsed farther
From any religious entity

Pages after pages,
Were stained with my ink
But the mind never felt
Any relief
Words after words were said,
My heart still died thirsty

With an unfulfilled wish to seek
An understanding in someone's eyes

My mind never intends to write
Yet my heart bleeds poetry,
The naked dark secrets,
Spilled all over the blank page
For the world to judge and see
My mouth never speaks
But words on my tongue
Long for the day
They get to taste
The voice of your lips


My mind never intends to love
Yet my heart gives it to you
As if they are the left over pennies
The world no longer has anything
To give In exchange for.
My mouth never complains
But my love is getting wary
Of being the love who loves
But is never loved back.

My mind never intends to confess
My love so profusely
Yet my heart does it so often
If people could hear wind talk
The whole world would know about our story
A story never ends
It just gets abandoned
The author finds another muse
But you shall always be
My favorite unfinished draft

Have you ever looked in the mirror
And searched for yourself
In the reflection

But have you ever got everything you wanted
And still had an insatiable longing gnawing at your insides

But have you ever stared into the sky long enough
That you felt it staring back into the vacant nothingness inside you

But have you ever laid awake
Spilling yourself on to the blank pages
Cause you needed to empty you of yourself

But have you ever tried listening to all the complains and secrets the cold wind carries with itself

Cause, if you had,
you would have known
That pain is universal.

It's a great big world
And am just another face among the crowd,
No speciality, none to put me above,
Except that I love you
But when has love ever been enough


You'll find someone else to sing along to the music of your heart
someone that'll appreciate the light in your eyes,
Without letting that brightness shadow her
unlike me
hopefully, she won't have to break pieces of her for you to fit in
hopefully, she'll be strong enough to handle your aroma
and not drown in it
Unlike what I did.


Boy, so i must leave,
not because i love/need you any less now
but 'cause i love you enough to put your wants above my needs.


In order for you to perfect, I must walk away.
To achieve success, one must fail
I'll be the failure.
No big loss,
We all know
Not everyone is meant  for success.
You succeed, I'll regress.
Don't doubt my love,
i'll always love you
Always look up to you
Longingly
But from a distance.

so, while i kiss you for the last time,
i savor every moment.
i fill my lungs with your smell,
While preparing myself for the last embrace,
after you exhaled, i inhaled
that's the only breath that matters,
The only breath thay counts.
'Cause i don't know who i'll be with you not around.

I'm writing this,
just to let you know that i'm leaving a part of me with you
it's yours to crush or throw in the trash
you can treat it any way you want.


So
as i walk out of your door for the last time,
i take mental pictures of your warm smile,
saving them for a sunless day,
Or a night too bright
(he has no clue that i'm leaving)

Fighting the urge to run back to you,
i hear the voices in my head yelling-
no matter how much he loves you,
one day he'll close his eyes and turn his back at your memories
and you'll lose him to someone better suited,
To someone who's not you
i murmur to that voice
love is not about holding on always, sometimes it's about not being afraid to let go


And I let go.

time will pass and soon you'll forget.
We'll drift apart & it'll be like we never met
strangers at beginning will become strangers at end

And when they come for me, they'll find a book titled all the ways I felt but was not supposed to.
I want you to cremate the book with me.


The world is strange, the people are stranger,
Everyone has a notion of how things should be,
And everyone knows how it should not
But maybe some things just are,
The sun rises, and it sets on its own accord
Maybe the way we need to be loved, is not within our control.

And how hard I tried to control my desires
But how do you escape what is trapped beneath your skin


People are strange, feelings are stranger,
I have spent my whole life trying not to need,
Until I stumbled upon you,
And I hope you understand it's not easy
To tear myself open for you to see,
In all the few glories I have had, and in my all vulnerabilities

And how hard I tried to not  let my coldness touch you,
While trying to remain unaffected by your warmth.

Pls, don't let these I love yous become the saddest words I uttered.

I have loved you still,
When I could no longer turn you into poetry.
I have loved you from afar,
When you needed space to spread your wings and navigate.
I have loved you freely,
Because labeling things usually restrict their growth
I have loved you in silence,
And you still heard every confession I never uttered.

I have loved you, unabashedly,
Let my words rage on,
I have loved you gently,
The way moon sings lullabies to a kid.
I have loved you in hues,
Both crimson and blue,
And so when the winter comes,
And your hands are cold,
I'd still be holding you.

I have loved you when you were a poem,
I have loved you when you were spiteful words thrown away, casually.
I have loved you at your best,
I have loved you when you yourself could not.

A word i can't seem to remember
A feeling i can't evade
A home whose address i have forgotten
A grief that i always carry with myself
A sleep that forsakes me till late hours
A dawn that breaks a wink too soon
A flower that just won't bloom
A thorn that never falls
A sun with its light too dull
A moon too bright
A smile that never reaches eyes
A frozen tear that never melts
A melody of my mother long erased
A horrible selfdegrading voice that won't leave my head
A silence that keeps storming
A storm that silences all our hearts' pleads
A you i can't seem to stop writing about*
A me that never crosses your mind*

-A.K.

I felt the wind whisper to me, as my mother's tears fell on the earth, unobserved
I heard it say that the clouds are sad too of course, that's why they cry as they could form no words.

I felt the ruin beneath my foot, trying to reach out to me,
I ran my hand along what was left of the monuments and felt their abandonment try to console me,
They said they were beautiful once, but now they stand there, majestically, for they witnessed pain and survived through it when most could not.
There's art in resilience.

I felt the echo of the words, my father once said to me, today, again
"you take care of yourself and do what makes you happy and run if you have to, away from my miseries" I remember having my knee bone crack under the implications of the emotions he left hanging in the air and have them choke me. My heart has been in my throat ever since. No emotion could  ever overshadow it. Like a broken deck, I keep hearing the same thing again and again. I'm sorry I could not fix it. I'm sorry for adding more woes to your miseries.

I felt the bitter resignation of the words crossed with black ink, no longer wanted by the poet that carved them. I can still feel them laughing maniacally, talking about their uselessness. I can get the disappointment an arrow feels when it misses the mark. They say there will be a judgment passed on all of us. But why did God give up on me the moment I was born? Why does every church I have ever been to seem to abandon me when I need it most

I felt the sun drain away my energy as I held my sickly brother in my arms, I felt it shrink away in shame because it was trying to **** his illness away instead. I felt things fail one by one as I sat on my kneees there praying. with my knees bruised and my knuckles gone ******, I stood up and decided no one was coming. And there were other ways to harm myself while still healing, find help with no feet approaching. I decided to write honest words, and have them cut my skin brutally with their tenderness.

I don't know when my words became my redemption, I don't know when they became my sin.

I met you
When I was
At a very strange stage
Of my life
All the faces had lost their identity
And were nothing but a blur
Till they blended into the background
Gone unnoticed
The same way they had come
And you were just the same
Among the dead memories and the ashes left
You were just one of the many's
Till on a cold night
I saw the spark you were giving
You were reaching out for me
I wondered why
I was curious where this might lead
I was the cold leaf
That then remained wet on the ground
Because it is a nature's rule
What goes up
Must witness a  scary down
I was denying the law of gravities
Being caressed by the wind
Till a thunderstorm came
And shook the very root
Of my being
And it was during that descent I realised
The high is never worth
The fall that follows
But you reminded me of the smell of spring
I never thought I would live to feel
I decided to watch from a distance
While you kept closing in on me
Your eyes penetrating through
Layers I had made
Not quite sure if they were there for my benefit
Or to bury me alive
I probed and poked to make sure
You were not another trick
Of this devious vile
We call life
Your steps, never hesitating,
I warned you
Your sparks will have no effect
On a leaf soaked in depression
You picked me up
Wiped the traces of the rain
The rain
I thought will never end
And held me in your palm
Like I was not dirt..
But a flower you found
In a field of weeds
Like I was the most precious thing
You had come across
One's garbage, another's gold
But I don't want to go high
Oh no please not another fall
But i like
The gentle touch of yours
Treating me with care
When every thing else is just friction
I like the warmth you radiate
When all I have been doing
Is shiver alone in the cold
I wonder if you can see
I'm trying my best not to lean further
Just closest I can get
Without actually touching
Cause one fine day
You'll see
I'm not a flower
But a drenched leaf
I hope you don't drop me
When the realisation comes
Creeping in

Bathed in silver
from the moonlight
that seeps through my window curtains,
I find my mind
drifting off to you,
again.

The view of starry sky,
numbs down my brain processes,
or, maybe it is the effect of my heavy eyelids
battling drowsiness

and it is funny how I still have no illusions,
that the sight of the same nightsky,
ever leads your thoughts processes to me.

And for me, all the trains of thoughts,
have a single destination
you know for me,
it is always you.

I don't know why
the moon is looking quite sad today,
maybe it has finally realised
that the place it has always known as its home
is not only his.


is anything truly ever ours?

even our lives are not just ours,
maybe that is the way of the things,
what we love today,
has been loved before,
and will be loved again.

and I still can't stop thinking
about the kiss I left on your eyelids.

and look the stars are winking and shining brighter in moon's misery
and I know I have lost coherence
when I imagine how they would look hanging in your braids

And here I can feel the quiet ache hum again,
I don't know how or when but I succumb to sleep,

and I swear I felt the moonlight kiss me,
and I swear I felt you smiling at me.

I wake up at the twilight
and sleep at the dawn
Time has ceased to mean anything to me at all
A new day comes and off it goes
Like the waves fill and empty the shore
ohh, but I am waiting for the day when it'll be all over


I have not given up,but i give in
I have not died yet,but i forbade myself to live.
I don't allow my mind to wander to the things of past and future
MY HEART IS LONG DEAD,NOW IT JUST PUMPS THE BLOOD ;)


I am the kind of mystery you'll regret to solve
(i am the mystery you'll never be able to solve)
THE CLOSER YOU TRY TO COME,THE MORE YOU'LL FIND THE DISTANCE IN BETWEEN


So.heed my warning.GO AWAY.
Why waste you time over a LIVING CORPSE,A HOPELESS CASE!

If you decide to ever come my way
Just know that will be the day
The snow inside my heart will melt
Leaving the flowers in a new bloom.

And the rain will dance
To the beat of thunderstorms
The day you embrace my heartbeats
As one of yours.

The dreams of you
Are closer than the kohl lining my eyes
Come, my dear, and catch them
Before they roll down my cheeks.

The black eyes of yours
Are still not familiar
To the promises they have made to mine.

And the spaces between my fingers
Are still holding the pen
Writing about the time
They'll hold your fingers instead

If you decide to ever come my way
Just know that will be the day
The snow inside my heart will melt
Leaving the flowers in a new bloom.

And the rain will dance
To the beat of thunderstorms
The day you embrace my heartbeats
As one of yours.

If you can't let go easily,
maybe you should be the one to have your bags ready;
packed with a spare ticket on you.

If you can't stop looking at the door that was closed,
maybe you should not have built one
and lived all your life in a home
with no doors and windows.

If the same wound of yours,
bleeds and bleeds,
and the pain never stops
maybe you should not have showed up the points
where you're most vulnerable.

if your skin is paper thin, keeping nothing out,
but never confining your lights in,
maybe you should not have befriended storms
people exhaling fumes.

If you delve in the emotions too deep,
and get high on how low you feel,
maybe you should not have been a poet at all.

If you never wanted to be a contradiction,
of hopeful eyes, tired smiles and an empty heart,
maybe you should have never been born as a human.

We no longer know what to say,
we only touch,
when you feel right,
and it is convenient

I don't hold your attention anymore
how do I know I still hold your heart?

You no longer rush to welcome me home,
you never dress up for me anymore,
the twinkle in your eyes don't dance
at the sight of me the same way

the ink splattered on the paper,
no longer takes the shape of my name

And oh, I remember how it used to be
I was in your embrace so often,
you would let your love take me high,
any time you felt I was feeling low

and, oh, you could read me so well
you knew what I wanted
way before my brain had it acknowledged

Oh, what once was, and the used to be's,
will never be, not in the same way again,
look at yourself too,
could you honestly say you're still the same?

and you were so familiar to me,
i could see your emotions display on your face
the stolen glances, the silence
I could decipher them so well

you would say "sweetie, it's all in your head"
but the soft pecks on my cheeks,
mean nothing more than a formality

but I still love you the same,
tell me I'm still the one,
tell me for you, there could never be anyone else

**and I don't know if I can take a step,
without you over-looking into it,
I feel myself suffocating,
under the memories of all the glorious used to be's

but I still love you the same, baby girl
and I would show you, if you'd only let me.
tell me
that it is not too late for us yet, please.

I have seen heroes take shelter in darkness, and villains smirk in light
Angels lose their Godly touch
And demons flourishing in their eyes.

"nothing good stays "
i always did, so that makes sense"
but your eyes were on your dream,
and apparently i was just some traffic
i always knew this was bound to happen
but that does not make it hurt less
you always think you've more time..there are going to be
more hugs,
more late-night talks,
more of everything
but then your world starts closing
in on you
and in the blink of an eye, he is gone..
and your time is over.
all the plans you made, all the promises..
they all get reduced to ..memories
memories that'l lhaunt you down at 2am
and make you cling to your pillowcase
and you'll realise you should never have let him touch you..
'cause
all the broken parts of  you that he fixed
just burn now, reminding you of his absence
and you'll see him, almost everything will remind you of him
the lonely moon, the other side of your bed
one sad songs, or the phone that no longer beeps
or the smell of him on your pillowcase
absence of him will be everywhere you see
time will cease to have any meaning to you
even the best of your friends will fall apart
and it won't be their fault, 'cause after months of not having their calls received ..everyone thought it's better to not call
you think this is it..that you won't ever recover but you would
and when the wounds his sudden departure gave turn to scars, you'll promise yourself that you won't ever love
but darling..you will
he'll assure you that he is different, you'll try not to believe but one day you will
And

**the whole **** will start again

If you decide to ever come my way
Just know that will be the day
The snow inside my heart will melt
Leaving the flowers in a new bloom.

And the rain will dance
To the beat of thunderstorms
The day you embrace my heartbeats
As one of yours.

The dreams of you
Are closer than the kohl lining my eyes
Come, my dear, and catch them
Before they roll down my cheeks.

The black eyes of yours
Are still not familiar
To the promises they have made to mine.

And the spaces between my fingers
Are still holding the pen
Writing about the time
They'll hold your fingers instead

If you decide to ever come my way
Just know that will be the day
The snow inside my heart will melt
Leaving the flowers in a new bloom.

And the rain will dance
To the beat of thunderstorms
The day you embrace my heartbeats
As one of yours.

I have a poem growing in my chest tonight, rising to taste your lips and ***** your mind.

If you let go,
You may learn how to undo oneself
And together we can build ourselves back up,
Or just let the rain wash us away.

Unclench your jaw,
I have got words stuck in between my teeth,
If you can close your eyes,
I'll teach you how to breathe.

The earth is round, and the planets always moving,
So that the distant future can't swallow us, and we don't run stagnant.

Look at the vast stretches of mountain and oceans,
Feel your problems reduce their weight,
Look at the cells working at subatomic level,
You can change your world, even if all else fails.

Seek for the truth,
But alas, some things are better understood in hindsight
As to what the purpose of our life is?
I am not sure I know myself.

All my life,
I have run away from others' perception of what truth was,
Cause mine they won't accept.

Pardon me, my lord, for thinking there is no absolute truth. Religions are means to attain the bigger goal, and not the goal themselves.

Millions of people die
In a war amongst themselves,
Can't you see it all starts with a simple claim- I and only I know, what is the best.

******, and religions.. I see little difference. Except one never bothered to claim it was what the Gods wanted.

No need to take offence,
for simply it was not my intent,
Everyone has a right to follow,
The path they chose for themselves

But don't give me the talk,
How you are the only one that can be correct,
You may not like to admit but
We all are in a rollercoaster
With no details of where we might end.

So why you are unlike,
The God you talk about in high esteem,
After all even a human shows his enemies mercy
And not have them thrown in an eternal fire,
Because he prefers different flavors of icecream.

I had a poem stuck in my mouth,
I could not swallow,
It stung till I had to throw it out
And now it Is all over your pages.

Alas, words are merely words,
And you'll all continue to go down the path you had already chosen
But if my words stopped a few to ponder,
Well, that is Just great
And my work here is done

love is just an illusion;
                                               a parallax you may say

take me somewhere far way
without telling me
a place no one knows anything about
WHERE YOU SMILE, THAT'S WHERE I WANNA BE
that's my destiny

let us leave the time behind
and let the world fade into obscurity
everyone who knows us and everyone we know
will
become a small dot in
our-rear view mirror

let the walls of our home
be made of our own memories
let us lie next to each other
till eternity
your arms will be the shore of this river i.e me
where you smile, that's where my destination is

        to the lane of my heart, you came like shower
and drenched the caravans of my thoughts with your essence
         to the darkened alley of my mind, you came like sunlight
          enlightened the dreams of my soul

now that i have tasted the sweet feeling of love,
   i don't want to ever let go
i promise you darling, you'll be all that i ever need
without you, everything ain't enough,
with you, i'll make do, with anything
   a silent promise that my heart did to you
   the first day you held me tightly

so, dear darling,
won't you take me to that place
a place where my dream is reality
and reality seems to be the dream
A place where i wake up to the light in your eyes
or sleep to the beats of your heart as my goodnight lullaby

*Ro,
please take me to the place
where there's no You Or I
just us-
two lost souls who found themselves in each other;
free-falling
defying the law of gravity.
Free-falling..into each others arms, till the end of time

you creep into my mind,and possess every thought i have.
And it is not like waves anymore, it is always constant

We are different,
with different people.

With some, I talk in prose,
about sunsets and a world,
bigger than the one,
that I'm part of.

with some, I talk
about stilettos and matching shades,
always planning
a new escapade,
less thinking, more talk.

With some, I sit in silence
Speak only when I have something to say,
reveling in the prolonged silence

With some, I'm witty,
with some, I rap,
with some, I'm deep
With some, I act dense.

Which one of them is me?
Are these the masks that I wear?

Who am I?
and why around you,
I'm not any one of them?

A drop of rain,
In an endless ocean
Another face,
In a crowd of strangers,
A fallen leaf,
When autumn has taken its toll,

Tell me, Darling,
What am I to you?

A potential
gone to waste,
an old building,
its walls adorned with cracks,
A broken flute,
that plays no tune,

Tell me, Darling,
What am I to you?

A brutal sun,
on a hot noon,
or a dull wintery
fading moon,
what do I remind you of,
when I'm gone,
If I do at all,

Tell me, Darling,
what am I to you

'cause you see,
I tore down these walls,
and showed you in
Let you hold my soul
it, now, carries your imprint,

it is another type of strong,
to allow yourself to be vulnerable

and for you,
I'll always find courage to do more,
and all my softness,
you have touched them all

So, darling, won't you tell me now,
what am I to you?

A passing trend,
a familiar name,
or an acquaintance,
in your long list of friends,
your favorite shade of blue,
or, a fuel you need
to carry on,


Tell me, Darling,
what am I to you

A million shade of hues,
Blending into one another,
Then why did I decide,
That these various shades of blue
Are what i look good in.

A hundred feelings I could have felt
But I decided to dwell deeply in
This self loathing
When did this sadness take me over,
Its grip so tight that
It's not even poetic anymore

All these words I could have used,
All these topics I could have penned,
But why does everything I write,
Seems to speak words,
That only I can hear-
Save me, save me, pls save me from myself.

A Hundred jewellery
To adorn
Then why did I decide to take
the blade in my hands
And carve these rubies out,
What a terrible contrast
Against my pale skin!

A hundred people
I could have talked to,
A dozen whom I call my friends
Then why is it that at 3pm
I'm scrolling down my tl,
Longing for a connection
I'm not sure exists.

A hundred cemeteries,
For all these ghosts to live in,
And yet they decide to haunt me instead
And why is it that when they're gone,
I almost crave their company?

What have I done to myself?

What If the sweet smell of spring,
Reminds you of the winter that will come too
What if the smiles showered on you
mirror the times you cried alone

What if one step ahead
Gets you two step back,
What if the starry nights
Trance you into a state of endless obliviousness

What if you came out clean,
Only to end up in a brutal relapse,
What if the future gets lost,
In a labyrinth of your past wishes

What if these words
Remain the only thing of mine to touch you,
What if forever was just a fleeting moment for us?

What if, what if, at the last moment of your life,
These whatifs are all you have got

I can feel a poem rising at the tip of my fingers tonight. I can feel them revolting, buzzing with anger; demanding to be heard.
And so I tie my hair back, pick up my pen, ever the docile servant to my emotions.
What do you wanna talk about, I ask them?
The buzzing stopped short, for the first time with some hesitancy, they answer we don't know.
And so we sat in companionable silence, with pen held. A hundred fluttering thoughts, but none I can connect to form a poem.
Write down, they say, write what we have always wanted to say, and so I let my emotions glide my fingers over the page, scribbling my brain out of the story, letting heart play to its fullest content.
And so heart wrote the softest words,
And in silence my brain slept.

Who am I
but the broken pieces
Of who I used to be

Who am I
but a silhouette of the bright future
I had always dreamed

Who am I
but the fading cry inside my heart ;
"I'm still here. I am. I am."

Who am I
But what's left of everything
That broke me

Who am I
But another racer
Who does not know where he is going

Who am I
But a love
that is never loved back

Who am I
But a mixture of feelings
That have already been felt

Are my thoughts original?
Or are they echoes
Of every things they have witnessed

Who should you write poetry for?

Write for someone
Who cares enough to read it
And have the words etched upon
Their hearts,
Never fading.

Write for someone
Who knows you enough,
To know
That you are a mixture of a thousand emotions
You never show
And your poetry is a gateway
To your heart.

Write for someone,
Who would willingly walk down
An abyss with you,
Not someone, who walks into it,
Unknowingly
Overwhelmed by your words' intensity

Write for someone,
Who is many different people,
For many different people,
And still is all of them for you,
A side he only shows to you.

Write for someone,
Whose love is not a secret,
Confessed in a hushed tone,
Write for someone who loves you,
And is unapologetic about it.


Write for someone,
Who sees a part of them
Every time your eyes meet,
Write for the part
Of yourself
You see in them.

Write for someone
To whom you actually mean something
And your words will never go unnoticed,
Dissolving in wind
The moment your lips set them free.

Why do I write poetry:
Many nights I have slept
With words of yours wrapped all around me
And now every time I lay
Those words whisper to me.
I must write to maintain my sanity.

Why do I write poetry:
Sometimes when I see sunset all I can think of is how you were the light of my eyes and when you left the sun set and it has never dawned since then
And I must write; ode to its remembrance

Why do I write poetry:
Sometimes I get really confused as to where I'm going except that no road will be taking me to you and the brown of the earth is the closest I'll get to have a souvenir of you
And I must write about the brown eyes I no longer wake up to

Why do I write poetry:
Every time you spoke there was a quiet all around while your words etched themselves on my fragile heart
And now there is only chaos left
And I must write to give my heart the silence to reminisce about your voice

Why do I write poetry:
I removed pieces of me to make you a home and now it only aches where my heart should be
And I must write to distract and empty myself of whatever is left

Why do I write poetry:
This is a world where please stay is followed only by a sorry as their response
And I must write because paper never cringes when I confess about my love

Why is it
That you only look
for stars
When there is no moon
And it is dark

Why is it
That you only know
what you had
When it is time
to say goodbye

Why is it
That the things we have
Always have to wait
While we seek the things
We might never get

Why is it
Among the greenery
of the spring
We forget about the autumn leaves that flew away

Why Is it
I have always grieved
for loss more strongly
than I ever
Felt the love

Why is it
That I always write about things
When it is a little too late
And they are already gone;
Their meanings belittled



Why is it
We are too busy wondering
why someone loves us
Instead of confessing
we feel the same


Why is it
We stare at a moment
till it slips
right out of  our hand
And blurs into a forlorn memory


Why Is it
That we wait
to be sure
Till a chance becomes
another what if

Why is it
That you only look
for stars
When there is no moon
And it is dark

Why is it
That you only know
what you had
When it is time
to say goodbye

Why is it
That the things we have
Always have to wait
While we seek the things
We might never get

Why is it
Among the greenery
of the spring
We forget about the autumn leaves that flew away

Why Is it
I have always grieved
for loss more strongly
than I ever
Felt the love

Why is it
That I always write about things
When it is a little too late
And they are already gone;
Their meanings belittled



Why is it
We are too busy wondering
why someone loves us
Instead of confessing
we feel the same


Why is it
We stare at a moment
till it slips
right out of  our hand
And blurs into a forlorn memory


Why Is it
That we wait
to be sure
Till a chance becomes
another what if

You hold my hand still,
But it is always loose
And you talk to me often,
But I know I'm not the only one.

And all those poems I sent you,
That you never bothered to read

She is just a friend,
Still her words you have kept framed.

And I don't know why I still stay.

'Cause  know I'm not the only one,
And this sadness has its hands gripping my throat,
The words you say, though, are still coherent,
But there is a void of emotions behind them

And I tell myself,
You can not recreate a moment of past
Why is that time reduces every thing beautiful to ruins

And maybe that is why I stay,
For in all this decay, I still have not forgotten
The Smell of spring.

And the words I write, no longer fits the man you have become,
So you can hold on to her words,
While I hold on the lyrics, of the music long stopped,

Hoping one day it will find its way back to me.


Till then, I shall let my friends Wonder
Why do I still stay

Will I ever make out of this city
Where nothing ever changes,
The extremes of weather
And all the stagnant minds,
have even influenced the birds,
To sing in the same tune,
To chirp without joy.

Will I ever make out of this city
Of unknown faces
Or will I lose myself
Trying to go against the crowd

Will I ever make out of this city
To a place where I can finally soar my wings
A place to rest my dreams,
A place where I can Just be?
Will I ever make out of this city to a place
where air is not filled
With suffocated dreams?


Will I ever make out of this city
Of unknown faces
Or will I lose myself
Trying to go against the crowd

will I ever make out of this city
where I was born but clearly,
never belonged

As I grow up, I realise,
That we are just men in transit,
People in passing,
Looking out of
varied dimension of windows.

All these memories are windows,
You and I too,
We peek in, stare and revel,
Sometimes we reach out, touch and stay
Till it is our time, to go again.

There are infinite windows,
And infinite possibilities,
If you ponder, you'll see,
Impossibility is just another possibility.

Then why Is it,
We linger about closed windows,
And spend ourselves
When there are other windows
Calling out our names.

Evolve, keep moving,
Or you'll become a stagnant pond,
Next time, a window closes,
Smile and let go,
And in this way,
You, too, shall pass.

If you could, would you
Trade all these words
For the peace of mind
That you never got

If you could, would you
Wipe off all your memories,
scars and lessons
And restart

if you could, would you
Let the heart give away its last beat
To some goodbye
You think should never exist

As to what I would do
I am not so sure
All I can do is sit and ponder
What might have happened

If I had chosen to let you go
When I still had it in me

Who ever said I could not write happy poems while my blood dripped all over these pages

Who ever said I could not smile so much that it hurts in the morning, only to cry myself to liberation at night?
Who ever said I could not bring a party to life, just because my insides feel dead?
Who ever said I could not preach self love while loathing myself?

Who ever said I could not care for humanity, even if I don't really love humans all that much individually?
Who ever said I'd shy away from an argument, just because I advocate peace?
Who ever said I can't be complex in my thoughts, while being so simple in my art?
Who ever said I could not be an insomniac, even if I can sleep all day long just fine?

Who ever said I could not be terribly sad while laughing myself to a fit?
Who ever said I could not wear a seat belt just because some nights my thoughts strayed to suicide?
Who ever said I wanted to die just because I could not expect to live?

Who ever said who you're should be neatly labelled into categories others decide?

You look into my eyes and sense something's wrong
i smile and say nothing , it's just not been my day at all
YOU SAY THERE'S MORE TO IT THAN YOU SHOW
I THINK YES,THERE'S MORE TO IT BUT YOU'LL NEVER KNOW

you sigh and kiss my cheeks and leave
i hold my breath and bite my lips
careful of every word i say
never showing how i wish you had stayed
your skin ignites mine wherever they meet
leaving me in a bitter-sweet pain
HOW CAN MY HEART CRAVE FOR SOMETHING IT HAS NEVER SEEN ?

And your warm brown eyes penetrate through my wall ,
through the guards and melt my frozen heart
I CAN FEEL YOUR SMILE SPREAD ACROSS MY OWN LIPS
yet how it tastes , i'll never know
your hands ..i'll never get to hold .

your innocence is what made me fall
but now i see that you're much more
a slash of naughty , a bit selfish
a tinge of darkness in your pure white soul
and the thing thing connects us both --"a sea of crazy .."
IT'S STRANGE HOW YOU ARE EXACTLY HOW I WANTED YOU TO BE

I say your name like it was the only reason I was given this ability to speak
I write about you as if the whole world is nothing but ashes and you are the burning passion I can't resist
I talk about you as if I was born with you as a language on my tongue
I search for you as if I am the feelings and you are the only one who can transform them into words
I long for you as if You are the first drop of rain after years and years of drought
I look at you as if you are the one star I need to complete my constellation

In between the rise and fall of your chest
I find a place to rest my head
I feel all the insecurities leave me
When you call me beautiful
In your semi-conscious state
I watch you seek me
In your dreams
And call out my name
And if it was possible to love you
More than i already do
In this moment i definitely would
I hold your hand
You pull me in
Without ever seeing me
I feel the irrelevance of the words
I have been molding
To fit the love i have for you
But love lies in these little things
How two lovers seek each other
After a long torturous separation
A couple of ily's and kisses are exchanged
Before your consciousness fades
I know I'll be there with you
Wherever it is your heart sails to
In your dreams
A place far from this world
Of bitterness and hypocrisy
The clock tick-tocks
Time never favored us,
I beg it to stand still
So that i can encapsulate every scar and wrinkle
On your skin
I'm in your bed again
It feels like it had been another life
When we held each other
And bid farewell
I guess
Without you to hold on to
I held on to your memories tighter than before
We decided
The river was too wide
And it was hard to swim
With all of the world clasping with chains at our feet
We finally accepted
The world always wins
But my heart,
though secretly and inaudibly,
Still chants your name
And my mind is too busy playing pretend
To bother itself
With the fuss
Produced by my wailing heart
But now when im laying
In such a close proximity with you
There is no place
I would rather be
But the clock strikes 6
I know it is too early to leave
But it will always be too early
Too soon
I think there is a love
You just can't survive
I know it
Because that love is ours
reluctantly i pull myself away from you
But my heart and soul
Refuses to leave
I threaten them
I say I'll never set my foot in this place again
They reply with a smirk
This is where all your path leads to
We will see you again

You look like a reason to try to want to wake up
A reason to try again
You look like the shameless shade autumn wears,
Not apologising for all the goodbyes it brings.

You look like a reason to want to die a little less,
A reason to play dressing up in front of the mirror
You look like this rebellious pen of mine,
Taking a break from the blues and writing about  the red in your cheeks
Clichés be ******, it yells.

You look like a liberation death could bring, but only sweeter,
The light filtering through the curtains, but softer
You look like the face of a stranger I confessed my miseries to long ago and wished never to see his face again when I was done
Except I could never run away from you, pls don't make me ever wanna

You look like the adrenaline rushed first kiss,
But with more finesse
You look like all the warning signs I have ever ignored when I ran past them,
Except this time I want to stay and discover why.

You look like all the poems I have ever sat on fire, except you fire never burns you into Ashes, it somehow compliments and coexists w your halo
You look a lot like humming bird, except you're humming in my heart, fuzzily flowing into my veins

You.
Cause with every sun rise you blossom like a flower,
And inspire everyone around you to do the same

You.
Cause your kisses taste like laughter and warmth that can even get a wanderer to stay.

You.
Cause like salt in sea
Your thoughts have dissolved into my skin

You.
Cause I don't want any other way to be.

You.
Cause I love yous don't cut it anymore.

You.
Cause somehow you made a way in,
Not unlike the sunlight that peeps in through the curtains,
And stains my sheets and colours my skin.

You.
Cause you managed to did it without me noticing.

You.
Cause somehow your favourite song often dances on my lips.

You.
Cause I may be all these fancy metaphors, but you provide meaning to these words.

You.
Cause you left all these love notes on my finger tips that I translate into words.

You.
Cause who needs the stars anyway when we can set each other on fire with a look.

You.
Cause it's as easy as inhaling the scent the first rain brings.

You.
Cause it's effortless like gravity.


You.
As simple as breathing.
It's you.

You make me bleed,
If only I learnt
how to paint you with it,
This would be worth it.

You make my heart ache,
If only I could turn this into art,
I would find a way
to keep you safe

Without endangering
my fragile beats.

You make me love you,
If only I could turn you into poetry,
And have people appreciate my love,
And not object,
I would.



But I can't.


So now my pen lays there,
The paper waits to be caressed,
The words remain lost in the echoes inside my head
Pleading you to come back.

But no amount of words I write
Will be louder than this worldly hate,
5+5 makes 10 so does 2+8

So why do they have to wrong us
To prove they are correct

I guess only a broken soul can hear
The sound a breaking heart makes,
You heard mine, for that I'm glad,
But you are gone now

The words now fall,
Only to get rusted and forgotten,

You made me hear
The silent lullaby the night sky sang to its lover earth
But now without you here,
It grows quieter every night.


Please, somewhere at some point
meet me again

Be yourself, he said
But the problem is i dont know how to do that without having the world know how much i love him

Maybe we never stop loving secretly, those we once loved out loud

Be brave and let go,
But the problem is i am not sure
if my hands remember how to
Or my heart

Maybe we never get over, we just become everything that breaks us

Be wise and accept
You are not the first, and you sure as hell wont be the last

Maybe the best i can hope is that out of all the things you regret, I'm the one you loved most

Be grateful, and dont sulk
Make a blanket of stars and lie down in the Earth's arms

Maybe these cold nights are there to avenge me for the times i reached out to you to keep me warm

Be still and let yourself heal
But is there any cure for memories of you and me

**Maybe some pain never ceases to be, some loss you can never compensate

Last night
You killed a part of me
And i let you
Just like all the times before

If loving me were a crime,
You'd not have to worry
You'd be an innocent
Not a single blot on your conscience

Last night
I looked for you at the bottom of my drinks, the empty side of my bed and in every strangers' face
Just to find you in her arms

If loving me were a dream,
You'd be the insomniac
Dont even bother closing your eyes now
I already slipped off your eyelids

Last night, in vain,
I tried to find my way to our place
But all the houses on the street looked the same
Like the gravestones in the cemetry with the engravings washed away

**If loving me came
like the waves of our memories hitting you in the face
Not one inch of you would be drenched
You would be untouched and oblivious
Like a diamond in the distant sky

You are gone for excessive hours
And i know you dont mean to come back
But you do, you take a while but you always do
A part of me know you will
But there is a bigger part knowing one day you wont

You used to love the way i wrote about you once
Now you just want me to stop
And although my lips never move, my heart keeps begging you to come back
While my friends beg for who i was before you left to come back

Your ears used to love the sound my lips made
When i said ily and reached for you in my sleep
But the day you left the sun rose too early and my ilys turned to please come back
and it was then when the sun set in my eyes, never to rise again

You once said there is hope; there is a light at the end of this tunnel
And i was taken back to the time when i saw you smile
I thought the end must be near
But now you are gone and now this tunnel seems never ending
Owing to the darkness, nothing is all i see

You kept saying there is more to life than us
I nodded and said there is more to life than love and there is more to love than you
But you were my sun and my moon
Now i am left with the stars that will never stop spelling your name.

You begged and ordered me to stop reaching out
for someone who is not even there
It was my helpness that said-I have been trying to let go
But im not sure if my hands remember how to
Or my heart

It was when you held me
I realised i could feel
For that i bitterly thank you
For ever since, i have been craving for your love
Your touch

It was when you loved me
I saw the relevance of a the metaphors that I've been writing
For that i bitterly thank you
For ever since, i have been staying up late
Trying to find metaphors to describe how you make me feel

It was when you touched me
I made my home in your skin
For that i bitterly thank you
Since you left, the homeless people get up and offer me their seat
Every time i pass by that lonely street


It was when you ran your fingers on me
I, for once, felt complete
For thar i bitterly thank you
Since then i have been looking for myself
in the things that carry your imprint

It was only when you called me beautiful
I did not feel like the dust that settled on a beautiful thing
For that i bitterly thank you
since then not a single reflection of mine exists
that has not been cringed at